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Childcare help with toddler.... can I do this?

(22 Posts)
mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 08:19:35

Hi, after a bit of advice. I'm a key worker though I work from home. I am struggling massively with getting on with work with my 1 year old under my feet. I also have a 7 year old but she's much easier to distract. My husband suffers massively with mental health (psychosis - diagnosed amongst other things). My work load is massive and I just can't get it done, and I cannot be furloughed (company have stated this, they have said that it will keep paying full pay if you're unable to work and the hours are to be made up when this is all over, but that's potentially 100s of hours I have no idea how I'll make up!)

My question is this... my sister lives alone and has been furloughed. She works in a nursery normally. She has offered to have my toddler every morning while I do my meetings. This is instead of sending her to nursery as I'm assuming this would be safer? We have all been in our respective homes since lockdown began. My boss however is beginning to lose patience and I don't know what else to do. My husband is completely unable to manage them, the toddler just screams relentlessly when I'm working upstairs and my husband is just totally unable to deal with it. Thank you for reading, and please be kind smile

OP’s posts: |
Lowprofilename Wed 15-Apr-20 08:22:54

Does she live very close? I would if you could just walk round the corner.

mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 08:23:45

Yes I can walk there in less than 5 minutes, even at toddler walking speed!

OP’s posts: |
OnlyFoolsnMothers Wed 15-Apr-20 08:26:11

Yes I would if she’s happy to do so, childcare for key workers is allowed isn’t it?

mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 08:27:40

Yes it is. I was originally planning on keeping her in nursery but it's closed. My sister is quite happy to do it and I will pay her the 20% she is losing from her wages by being on furlough.

OP’s posts: |
mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 08:28:52

It was more that you're not allowed so "socialise" so to speak with people in different households that I was concerned about.

OP’s posts: |
StrangerDays Wed 15-Apr-20 08:29:13

Absolutely, I would. smile

moomoobaabaa Wed 15-Apr-20 08:31:44

Sounds ideal.

AmelieTaylor Wed 15-Apr-20 08:32:29

I think it's your only option tbh

It is mixing households but no more do (less so in fact) than if you took her to nursery which you're entitled to do.

Or you could check out your position regarding furlough with a union. I'm not sure what your employer has said is legal or not, sorry

It would be good if you & your sister could combine your shopping so you're more effectively living as one household, but given the number of people still pudding about going to the shops every day, it's not going to be a huge difference

Thank you for whatever you're doing that's keeping the show on the road!🌷

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Wed 15-Apr-20 08:39:09

I don't see any issues with this as long as you're both happy with it and observe social distancing in general. You need to work and she'd probably benefit from the extra income. The toddler will have someone to play and muck about with, and everyone will probably be happier.

You're not going there for a party, you're doing what's necessary to continue working.

ThatsNotMyName123 Wed 15-Apr-20 08:42:01

I would.
I was in same situation as a key worker. My mum always has him as a rule.
The way I looked at it was it's safer he goes to her still as he knows her and it's only her at risk of passing it, or a nursery where he would mix with other children if keywords plus staff, making the cross infection much higher.

Because you are a keyworker I believe child care is still allowed

HuntIdeas Wed 15-Apr-20 08:45:15

It isn’t socialising, it is childcare for a key worker which is absolutely allowed

mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 09:05:40

Thank you all you've made me feel so much better about it smile

I work for a huge national company with heavy union involvement so I'm presuming they can take the stance they've taken regarding furlough. In all honestly I think they've done it as a nice gesture to ensure nobody loses any money rather than to be awkward. It's just not particularly helpful to me grin

I'll speak to my sister today and tell her thank you and yes please!

Thank you all it's been a rough few weeks as lockdown is already making a difficult siltation worse regarding my husbands MH. I'm hoping this will make life easier for us all.

OP’s posts: |
Piixxiiee Wed 15-Apr-20 09:06:23

I would. You're a key worker and it sounds perfect. Make life as easy as you can in difficult times x

Aquicknamechange2019 Wed 15-Apr-20 09:07:15

If your sister is on furlough she's not allowed to work - i don't know if she's allowed to do cash in hand work for someone other than her employer. I would check this out just in case you jeopardise her furlough status.

AnotherEmma Wed 15-Apr-20 09:09:46

YANBU, definitely ask your sister to do childcare.
I hope your husband is getting treatment for his mental health issues?

mumofferals Wed 15-Apr-20 09:18:45

Ah I'll look into that regarding her furlough. I don't want her to risk that to help me out.

He is getting help but it's all a bit of a nightmare. They've been treating him for anxiety for well over a year. It was only in December he saw a different GP who recognised it was more than that and got him seen by the crisis team quite quickly who diagnosed psychosis. He's been on different medication and having regular meetings with a team who specialise in psychosis. It's all kind of gone to pot a bit with lockdown though. He's receiving calls off them but they don't seem as effective. Plus lockdown is massively adding to his paranoid thoughts. As I said it's a bit of a nightmare right now sad

OP’s posts: |
perniciousdot Wed 15-Apr-20 09:22:14

If your sister is on furlough she's not allowed to work - i don't know if she's allowed to do cash in hand work for someone other than her employer. I would check this out just in case you jeopardise her furlough status.

Nobody is going to know if OP drops her sister a few quid for helping out. I think I it's a nice idea OP and there is nothing wrong with giving her some money.

AnotherEmma Wed 15-Apr-20 09:23:11

Yes lockdown is hard enough for our mental health and must be a nightmare for people with significant issues sad flowers

Re doing other work while on furlough:

If your contract allows, you may undertake other employment while your current employer has placed you on furlough, and this will not affect the grant that they can claim under the scheme. You will need to be able to return to work for the employer that has placed you on furlough if they decide to stop furloughing you, and you must be able to undertake any training they require while on furlough.
www.gov.uk/guidance/check-if-you-could-be-covered-by-the-coronavirus-job-retention-scheme#while-youre-on-furlough

I'm not sure I would call it "employment" though, strictly speaking, since you won't be paying NMW, NI or tax. It's more a favour to family and you could say that the payment is expenses or something?

MabelMoo23 Wed 15-Apr-20 09:24:41

When you are furloughed, you are allowed to get another job. It’s just you can’t do any work for the company who is furloughing you - as essentially it would be the tax payer paying you to do work.

But yes, you can work for someone else. So YOU can pay your sister for childcare, as you aren’t furloughing her.

Soontobe60 Wed 15-Apr-20 09:42:34

OP, your employer CAN furlough you if you have childcare issues.
*Employees with caring responsibilities
Employees who are unable to work because they have caring responsibilities resulting from coronavirus (COVID-19) can be furloughed. For example, employees that need to look after children can be furloughed*
www.gov.uk/guidance/claim-for-wage-costs-through-the-coronavirus-job-retention-scheme

AnotherEmma Wed 15-Apr-20 09:56:22

They can, but they don't have to. And if OP is a key worker, it makes more sense for her to make alternative childcare arrangements if she can.

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