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Does anyone feel like they are starting to go a bit insane?

(36 Posts)
Destinysdaughter Fri 10-Apr-20 18:42:41

I am. It's very hard, living with such a high level of uncertainty. Like, how long will this last, what sort of world will we be living in when this is all over, and what's the point of doing anything when every day is exactly the same? And if you go to the shop to buy food you could die. The only point of consistency right now is knowing which day the bins are collected. I live alone and although I'm glad I'm not living with pp I don't like, if I did get very ill, there would be no one to look after me, and you'd have to be on death's door to go to hospital. I know it's hard for everyone right now but some days it feels overwhelming.

How is everyone coping with this? Hope you are all ok and safe...x

OP’s posts: |
SweatyBettyy Fri 10-Apr-20 18:44:43

I've been okay up until today. I feel trapped like I just want to scream. Like you say, It is the uncertainty and not knowing what the future will be like. I think if they said okay lockdown for 3 months and then will all be okay but it is the not knowing
thanks to you

DandelionsDandelions Fri 10-Apr-20 19:02:19

Yes. I already had PTSD and anxiety but I had managed well for years.

With this, I actually do feel as if I've gone mad. I'm not coping at all, barely and badly scraping together the very basics for DC daily but I'm such a shit mother. I feel awful they have me as a mother.

Barely eating, I'm like a skeleton, barely showering, constant panic attacks, sometimes crying, bad brain fog, constant fearful feeling.

If I felt like this at any other time I would seek very serious help. But I can't just now for fear of leaving the house, even to go to pick up any prescription.

I am hoping I will be able to 'snap out of it' and function again. Scared I won't be able to though.

I need to be an adult. There are brave people out working on the front line. I am pathetic and unable to adult.

Destinysdaughter Fri 10-Apr-20 19:07:31

I've been fine but today I just can't stop crying. Hugs to everyone.

OP’s posts: |
Destinysdaughter Fri 10-Apr-20 19:11:21

DandelionsDandelions I'm sure your not a 'shit mother', you're doing the best can, like we all are, it's a genuinely frightening time right now, as long as you take care of yourself and your daughter knows you are there for her, you are doing great!

OP’s posts: |
Beebyonthewold Fri 10-Apr-20 19:36:34

OP I know how you feel, and your point about living alone really resonates. I am terrified of getting extremely sick and having no one to help me! I can’t get the thought out of my head, even though I know I would cope in the end. The uncertainty about the future is just always there as well, I know I should be using my time productively but it seems impossible to concentrate on anything

Momrose12 Fri 10-Apr-20 19:37:21

Me. I feel like crying - don’t know why.

blancheduboiss Fri 10-Apr-20 19:40:39

Yes, yes, yes. Have masses of university work to do, but no motivation thanks to all of this. Bored of doing the same, relentless stuff day in and day out now; there’s only so many crafts and baking you can do. Scared for my wonderful mum working for the NHS. Fed up of worry and uncertainty, and sadness over dozens of cancelled plans DP and myself were looking forward to. Can’t stand sitting in constantly wondering what to do with myself. What a shit year.

Legoandloldolls Fri 10-Apr-20 19:42:31

I am feeling the strain. Its lack of routine and normality and purpose to the day. I want to use my time wisely but cant do a clear out and the tip is closed. We need to decorate our extended house but cant drive to it. I have 4 kids, two with SEN so I cant handle home educating. I cant get into a sleep pattern.

I think I need to set myself some daily jobs just to tick my brain over.

Gettingo Fri 10-Apr-20 19:44:01

Yes, I need solitude and I don't get it. I'm losing my mind

DandelionsDandelions Fri 10-Apr-20 19:45:36

Thanks @Destinysdaughter . I have a daughter and a son. I am not coping well for them, and I feel awful about that. Thanks for your kind words though, and sorry you've been crying.

The80sweregreat Fri 10-Apr-20 19:49:23

I went to a supermarket around five pm that took minutes to get into and had most things I wanted. It's the little things these days!
Other days I'm so sick of it all.
I know it could be worse for us , but it is the uncertainty about how long we have to carry on this way. Plus the news is just so grim each day. Our poor NHS staff have it so much harder so I try to keep that in mind when I'm fed up about not being able to go out anywhere.
It's a horrible time.

AnduinsGirl Fri 10-Apr-20 19:50:00

Me. I've had a lot of time to myself this week and I've given myself a right mental kicking - rehashing old bad memories and past fuck-ups, etc. This morning I just cried and cried. I know it's absolutely nothing compared to the hell of those directly affected by Covid, but it's hard.

Nonnymum Fri 10-Apr-20 19:50:11

I'm becoming very, very anxious. I think I've always been a worrier but now it's off the scale. I cant imagine a time a time when I will enjoy being in crowds again. I'm becoming afraid to go out and of other people.

Bagelsandbrie Fri 10-Apr-20 19:53:43

Dh and I have really started to argue with each other. We’ve been together 12 years and rarely spend this much time together, coupled with two kids at home and it’s bound to happen isn’t it? We’re all driving each other mad. Nothing really serious but to the point I feel like shutting myself in the shed at times.

I’m really snappy and on edge. Ds aged 8 ran up behind me in the kitchen to make me jump and I really shouted blush I did apologise. I am just really close to the edge.

Gin96 Fri 10-Apr-20 19:56:23

With me, it’s the unknown, the thought of life never going back to normality terrifies me, never being able to meet up with friends and family again 😢 I find just taking each day as it comes and enjoy what you have. I have to get up and walk the dogs at 7am every morning, this keeps me in a routine, I set myself jobs I want to get done, all the things i’ve said I want to do but never have time. I painted my garden fence today, it looks great and something I kept meaning to do 😊 Keep positive everyone, life will go back to normal at some point flowers

ChardonnaysPetDragon Fri 10-Apr-20 19:59:35

I had a wobble yesterday, feel a bit better today, but fick knows how tomorrow will be.

It's all very worrying. The only positive thing are my lovely dogs.

Gin96 Fri 10-Apr-20 20:00:14

I can’t imagine ever hugging someone or shaking hands again, all I can think of now is all those germs

Gin96 Fri 10-Apr-20 20:03:25

@ChardonnaysPetDragon animals are the best aren’t they, life is no different for them, they keep you grounded of what’s important.

Lipz Fri 10-Apr-20 20:04:19

Being home has been fine. We're getting on well. The parts annoying me is not able to get online shopping and having to walk to shops more than I want. Having to go to chemist every 3 days for dds meds as we're not allowed to stock pile. Also seeing the neighbours not following the rules at all. Only being allowed 2km from our home, Then been told this evening we're on a further 3 week lock down till May 5th (Ireland). Some days I feel like I'm going a little insane, mostly I'm OK, which is good.

colouringinpro Fri 10-Apr-20 20:04:37

Dandelions Dealing with PTSD and anxiety in a global pandemic is hugely hugely hard. Try being really kind yo yourself, like say youre recovering from a bad illness. Honestly if your kids are safe and fed you are doing a good job. If you're able to, try and get outside for 30 mins a day. That's it for now. Take care and best wishes.

CricketCrocket Fri 10-Apr-20 20:04:58

I’ve had a rising sense of panic and nearly cry if I think too much about it all.

I would prefer them to say we’re in lockdown for x amount of weeks and then you know where you are.

flowers for everyone.

ChardonnaysPetDragon Fri 10-Apr-20 20:05:29

They are. They keep me sane, or at least vaguely sane.

snowegg Fri 10-Apr-20 20:05:29

I'm missing any privacy at home. A chance to have a chat on the phone when no one else is home.
Also, like pp said, I'm actually starting to find it odd not distancing - like when I see people close on the telly on things like Midsomer!

thepeopleversuswork Fri 10-Apr-20 20:08:28

I veer between feeling I'm coping reasonably well and feeling I am really struggling.

To be honest there are some things about lockdown I'm actually enjoying the simplicity, the time spent at home without guilt -- being able to let go of the "keeping up with the Joneses" thing and not having to commute.

But I do find the groundhog day factor very stressful -- the fact that I'm working and looking after my DD in the same few rooms and the fact that I can't really focus on doing nice things with my DD because I'm working all the time is really getting to me. And as others have said, the economic uncertainty is very stressful.

I've had a couple of days of feeling tearful and very anxious.

But overall I think I'm coping as well as could be expected. I keep reminding myself that I'm really pretty lucky -- don't have to expose myself to the virus. That's what keeps me on an even keel.

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