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I hate this hanging over me

(7 Posts)
duvetdown Thu 09-Apr-20 08:58:42

Some days I try not to think of the pandemic, I get on with something else, read my book or work. I might even feel half way positive. But then the reality hits me the fact that we’re all stuck at home unable to move on. DH is working from home and I can’t get into the kitchen to cook, clean etc so the house is getting messy, washing piling up.

Then what if they relax the lockdown, the virus is still out there. I am youngish but have underlying medical conditions if I get it I may well become seriously ill and potentially die and from what I’ve read I will get this at some point which is terrifying.

I imagine as soon as this is over people will want to meet up again, travel to see friends and family and it will just start up again. Even if I shield at home My husband will have to go into work where he will likely get it in the office or commute and then pass it to me.

Sometimes I think oh well just take your chances but I don’t want to die.

OP’s posts: |
iVampire Thu 09-Apr-20 09:12:34

As you might (like me, also shielded) need to be at home indefinitely, the first thing you need to do is get your living space sorted out so it works for you too.

DH needs a working area that still leaves you with proper access to key parts of the house (kitchen, bathroom and a reasonable place for you to be during the day).

You also need to consider idc how you can distance yourself from him when in the house (against the day he goes back to work). The shielding letter contains advice on what sort of domestic spacing to aim for.

I hope he has just been thoughtless and will work with you to find solutions.

Mistlewoeandwhine Thu 09-Apr-20 09:24:15

I think we all feel a bit like that.

userxx Thu 09-Apr-20 09:30:20

Have you got a garden? It's a perfect washing day today. I don't think the lockdown is going to be lifted for a good while yet.

SpudsAreLife84 Thu 09-Apr-20 09:37:41

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed but please try to look at the positives. Both you and DH are home and safe, and the weather is beautiful. Get out where you can and enjoy the sunshine, take pleasure in the little things. Both DH and myself are working out of the home FT, I hot desk and work in a prison where social distancing is incredibly difficult and worry every day that I will bring it home to the children. But I have taken a couple of days off to enjoy some family time in the garden and try to have some fun and stop stressing for a bit. This is tough for of us, but in a few months things will seem easier I'm sure

HathorX Thu 09-Apr-20 09:45:55

I think your anxiety is perfectly reasonable.
However you can't control what happens, and worrying achieves little. The hope is that this won't all start up again once lockdown is over, and from what I've read, there will continue to be social distancing and wearing face masks in workplaces.

Being confined in a small messy space is awful. Chat to your partner about it, see what ideas you can come up with between you.

If you do catch it after the lockdown is over, the expectation will be that there are by then far fewer cases, therefore more NHS resources available to help those who need ICU and oxygen. It follows anyone with underlying medical conditions should stand a better chance of recovery if they avoid the disease during this peak period.

Of course it is a worry, but let's Suppose you catch it and die. Do you want to spend your last months fretting about it? Or find ways to enjoy this strange time in all our lives? Or look at it another way: let's suppose you don't catch it at all or you catch it and survive. You worrying about it doesn't actually affect the outcome. In fact, typically being as happy and healthy as possible leads to better outcomes when you are unwell.

Write a blog to vent, play online games, make a post-crisis bucket list, grow some herbs, find a yoga class on YouTube, learn a language online, binge watch telly, have an idiotic amount of sex, learn to juggle, cut your own hair, there's loads to do even in a small space!

I hope you find your mojo. Stay safe xx

NurseJaques Thu 09-Apr-20 09:52:29

Great advice from Hathor!

Keep reminding yourself that worry will not help or affect outcomes, it just steals the joy from your life.

Lots of people in the vulnerable groups are getting covid and recovering, we have had patients with asthma, copd, MS, Parkinsons, and lots of elderly people including a lady of 101 do very well and be discharged home.

Some anxiety is normal, I am worried too as a nurse on front line with lots of front line family. We are all worried, but it's about not letting that worry take over flowers

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