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Unmotivated leaving cert student

(5 Posts)
Irishmums Wed 08-Apr-20 17:43:31

Any parents of kids supposed to be doing leaving cert. we started of ok with study and assignments and now if I even mention doing some work it’s a meltdown . I’m afraid to open my mouth. Motivation is gone to zero. Struggles with school as it is so this is so so hard . Maybe would have got 300 points in mocks with Def potential to get 350 in June and now I’m worried she won’t even get 250 . They need an answer now .

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Barbararara Wed 08-Apr-20 18:41:08

Why not back off all study and pressure and just chill for the Easter holiday? The LC is a huge stress to carry and so is everything else that has been happening. A decent break won’t do her any harm and might help a lot.

One of the things I was very grateful for, back in the dark ages when I did mine, was that our school scheduled the mocks before the Easter break and encouraged us to relax afterwards. I was geared up and ready for the last term when we got back.

A lot of other schools scheduled the mocks afterwards so they studied for the mocks through the holiday and many of my friends had a slump afterwards.

After Easter, suggest she have a think about her learning style and what might suit her. Some kids do better to delve deep into a subject and keep at it for a few days, rather than changing focus every hour. Some need aural input and struggle to learn from a book only. She may be able to figure out what her learning needs are and this lockdown is a great opportunity to try a different way than the formal school approach.

Try and hand over the control to her and step into a consultant role yourself. You can’t make her study or drag her through it. And if she’s engaging in power struggles with you it’s a colossal waste of everyone’s effort.

There’s quite a good book about the benefits of being a consultant parent. One of the authors was an academic tutor who specialises on helping students get into top US universities. There’s an interview with the authors on this podcast that might give you a flavour of their approach. You can get the book on audible.

BorrestGump Wed 08-Apr-20 19:01:33

Who can blame her? They'll have a very good excuse for extenuating circumstances if results are below expected.

I have a 5th year who was very stressed about the amount of class time being lost and even she has gone off the boil. I have reserved all my sympathy for LC students in this time. A friend whose son was a great student and very much so self propelled has started struggling with focus and sleep.

If I were you I would back off the pressure - it's there already from the situation, her own awareness, her peer group, her teachers. Be a rock and see if she wants to put all books to one side until after Easter. My daughter's school have a contact number for parents (and we are a bog standard country school) so see if you cant get some support from her year head or a decent teacher.

At the end of the day this is an unprecedented situation and your dd is doing her best. As are you. So be kind to both of you.

As an aside, do you hope this leads to a drastic and way overdue overhaul of an antiquated system where two years work and your future relies on your application to exams set over a three week period?! Madness when you think of it. Here's hoping for better for the next generation. And for your dd to come through this okay.

Irishmums Wed 08-Apr-20 20:18:14

Aw thanks so much for the replies makes me feel better . I do try not to pressure but support . I think I will definitely zip it now and maybe let Easter go by and try enjoy as much as possible . Tbh I need a break myself . Working from home and college student finalist and worrying about Ds working in uk .
Borrestgump no we have not been given any Numbers for support really no contact from her year head or mentor .
@Barbararara thanks for word of wisdom I like the idea of a consultant role and will definitely look that book up .

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Irishmums Wed 08-Apr-20 20:23:04

Sorry Borrest yes the system definitely needs overhauling especially after listening to the dinosaurs all week saying it must go ahead . I had 2 kids who sailed through and this one who struggled so much mentally and academically it’s a crazy system . She is actually so bright and practical and if she could concentrate on subjects of interest she would soar . But the hours of English math and Irish is absolutely ridiculous. The LC is a memory game at best .

Lol we did say at least she never needs to speak irish again unless she actually wants too !

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