My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Covid

Macabre, but have you written letters to your partners and kids just in case?

29 replies

Pansypath · 08/04/2020 11:00

I have been meaning to do this anyway as enough friends have passed away from illnesses and other tragedies. But this pandemic is focussing the mind somewhat.

OP posts:
Report
Disressingtimes · 08/04/2020 11:02

No Shock
It’s not entered my head to do so.......until now Sad

Report
bingowingsmcgee · 08/04/2020 11:02

Yes I did it last night. It made me feel better. I hope and believe that I'll be able to dispose of them in the next few months, but I'm glad they're there.

Report
Pipandmum · 08/04/2020 11:09

It's a good idea, nothing t do with the current situation but you just never know. My husband died suddenly when our kids were 4 and 6. He had written a letter to my son just after he was born fir when he turns 18. He didn't get around to it when my daughter was born and I've been meaning to do it in his place.
It's nothing profound just telling him how much he loves him etc. I wish he'd done it for our girl too.

Report
WelshMoth · 08/04/2020 11:25

Pip, I'm so sorry you lost your DH.

A close friend of mine was in exactly the same place as where you are. Her baby girl was 3 months when her DH died of pancreatic cancer. He'd already written a letter to the 6 yr old daughter by hand when he was first diagnosed. The cancer took him so quickly though, he didn't have the chance to write a second letter.

My close friend typed and printed a letter to the daughter, expressing the same sentiments and has signed it from Dad. She said it felt slightly dishonest, but it's brought her comfort knowing that both children will somehow feel a connection.

She knew her DH better than anyone, knew his thoughts and his little idiosyncrasies, his sayings. She put them in the letter.

She regards as the only lie she'll ever tell her children, but a simple act will mean the world to her DD.

Report
YouKnowWhoo · 08/04/2020 11:28

I’ve written the one letter to both of my children. I think it was about 10 days ago. I feel better it’s done.

I would hate to be whipped away and not have any capacity to leave or communicate a message.

Report
Barbararara · 08/04/2020 11:32

No. I don’t think I can express myself well enough in writing. I wouldn’t know what to say. I’m just focusing on letting my dc and dh, dps and siblings know that I love them in words and actions, and defusing the small stresses that build up in a lockdown.

Report
Camomila · 08/04/2020 11:32

No, but I was ill 2 weeks ago (got to the shortness of breath stage but only for a few days luckily) and told DH if I got really ill he could consent to a ventilator, cpr, and any experimental treatment going for me!
DH said the same for him.

We're 31 and 32, in good health and have 2 DC under 4. We'd both want to try our best to live for the DSs even if the treatment was brutal.

Report
Maisieme · 08/04/2020 11:34

Yes I have. I’m in my early sixties but quite overweight and unfit.

Report
Dahlietta · 08/04/2020 11:38

No, but partly because I'm assuming I will have a bit of time (10 days seems to be the going rate) from first symptoms before I die if I am going to! Sad

Report
Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 08/04/2020 11:40

I have done this for my kids, in a journal type thing, since my DH passed nearly 10 years ago. I update it every so often, with little anecdotes about their lives, and how proud I am of their achievements. I've just lost 2 people in 4 days to this awful pandemic, which makes me think I should update it again very soon. Just in case

Report
GlassInEachHand · 08/04/2020 11:41

No, not yet, but a few weeks ago I did tell our eldest daughter where we keep the deeds to the house... Blush

Report
GlassInEachHand · 08/04/2020 11:43

Pip and Why SadFlowers

Report
wherethewavesarehighest · 08/04/2020 11:50

Not yet, I'm not great with words and to be honest I'm just putting it off.

Report
MaggieFS · 08/04/2020 11:55

No, but I have got some cards out for us each to write down all of our passwords, seal up and lock away.

Report
Beebityboo · 08/04/2020 12:18

I have thought about it but keep putting it off because I know I won't get through a paragraph without having an emotional breakdown Sad

I suppose though that even if I survive getting it, I could get hit by a bus/have a sudden heart attack etc, so it may be good to do anyway just in case. It would be good for them to have something tangible to read and hang on to when I'm gone.

Report
Pansypath · 08/04/2020 18:08

Sorry for those of you who have experienced loss.

I think I will do one letter for all my kids to share. And the passwords in a sealed card is a good idea.

OP posts:
Report
DDIJ · 08/04/2020 18:16

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Realitea · 08/04/2020 18:18

I wouldn’t worry too much. This could cause some really anxious people to absolutely lose their minds putting something like that.
It’s a very very small amount of people who die when you consider the population of this country.

Report
RoxanneRoxannee · 08/04/2020 18:21

No, I've not. Although I know this is serious and lots of people are going to die, I am early 30's, healthy, no underlying health issues good BMI and following socia distancing and staying home, but this post has really scared me Sad

Report
binkyblinky · 08/04/2020 18:25

My sister has. She's a frontline nurse 😢

Report
Jollitwiglet · 08/04/2020 18:28

When both my daughters were born I set up an email account for both of them. I send them emails a few times a year

Report
RoxanneRoxannee · 08/04/2020 18:29

@Jollitwiglet this is such a good idea, I really wish I have done this, and send pictures etc

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

OldLace · 08/04/2020 18:29

Its a good idea anyway tbh, it's just that this wretched virus has brought it all to the front of our minds.

Report
Iwant2move · 08/04/2020 18:31

If you do write letters, don’t destroy them. I have sympathised with many on this forum when they have lost their partner or child. I always thought it would never happen to me. Three months after moving to our dream home (had been planning for seventeen years), my wonderful husband was killed in a car crash. He was only just 53 years old and five minutes from home.

Report
OldLace · 08/04/2020 18:36

@Iwant2move
I am so sorry for your loss - how awful for you Flowers

My Father died in an RTA when I was 12 weeks old, so I have grown up always known how quickly life can change.
You are correct, if people manage to bring themselves to write the letters, it is worth keeping them.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.