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Macabre, but have you written letters to your partners and kids just in case?

(30 Posts)
Pansypath Wed 08-Apr-20 11:00:12

I have been meaning to do this anyway as enough friends have passed away from illnesses and other tragedies. But this pandemic is focussing the mind somewhat.

OP’s posts: |
Disressingtimes Wed 08-Apr-20 11:02:29

No shock
It’s not entered my head to do so.......until now sad

bingowingsmcgee Wed 08-Apr-20 11:02:46

Yes I did it last night. It made me feel better. I hope and believe that I'll be able to dispose of them in the next few months, but I'm glad they're there.

Pipandmum Wed 08-Apr-20 11:09:05

It's a good idea, nothing t do with the current situation but you just never know. My husband died suddenly when our kids were 4 and 6. He had written a letter to my son just after he was born fir when he turns 18. He didn't get around to it when my daughter was born and I've been meaning to do it in his place.
It's nothing profound just telling him how much he loves him etc. I wish he'd done it for our girl too.

WelshMoth Wed 08-Apr-20 11:25:43

Pip, I'm so sorry you lost your DH.

A close friend of mine was in exactly the same place as where you are. Her baby girl was 3 months when her DH died of pancreatic cancer. He'd already written a letter to the 6 yr old daughter by hand when he was first diagnosed. The cancer took him so quickly though, he didn't have the chance to write a second letter.

My close friend typed and printed a letter to the daughter, expressing the same sentiments and has signed it from Dad. She said it felt slightly dishonest, but it's brought her comfort knowing that both children will somehow feel a connection.

She knew her DH better than anyone, knew his thoughts and his little idiosyncrasies, his sayings. She put them in the letter.

She regards as the only lie she'll ever tell her children, but a simple act will mean the world to her DD.

YouKnowWhoo Wed 08-Apr-20 11:28:25

I’ve written the one letter to both of my children. I think it was about 10 days ago. I feel better it’s done.

I would hate to be whipped away and not have any capacity to leave or communicate a message.

Barbararara Wed 08-Apr-20 11:32:42

No. I don’t think I can express myself well enough in writing. I wouldn’t know what to say. I’m just focusing on letting my dc and dh, dps and siblings know that I love them in words and actions, and defusing the small stresses that build up in a lockdown.

Camomila Wed 08-Apr-20 11:32:54

No, but I was ill 2 weeks ago (got to the shortness of breath stage but only for a few days luckily) and told DH if I got really ill he could consent to a ventilator, cpr, and any experimental treatment going for me!
DH said the same for him.

We're 31 and 32, in good health and have 2 DC under 4. We'd both want to try our best to live for the DSs even if the treatment was brutal.

Maisieme Wed 08-Apr-20 11:34:40

Yes I have. I’m in my early sixties but quite overweight and unfit.

Dahlietta Wed 08-Apr-20 11:38:05

No, but partly because I'm assuming I will have a bit of time (10 days seems to be the going rate) from first symptoms before I die if I am going to! sad

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername Wed 08-Apr-20 11:40:32

I have done this for my kids, in a journal type thing, since my DH passed nearly 10 years ago. I update it every so often, with little anecdotes about their lives, and how proud I am of their achievements. I've just lost 2 people in 4 days to this awful pandemic, which makes me think I should update it again very soon. Just in case

GlassInEachHand Wed 08-Apr-20 11:41:09

No, not yet, but a few weeks ago I did tell our eldest daughter where we keep the deeds to the house... blush

GlassInEachHand Wed 08-Apr-20 11:43:16

Pip and Why sadflowers

wherethewavesarehighest Wed 08-Apr-20 11:50:43

Not yet, I'm not great with words and to be honest I'm just putting it off.

MaggieFS Wed 08-Apr-20 11:55:53

No, but I have got some cards out for us each to write down all of our passwords, seal up and lock away.

Beebityboo Wed 08-Apr-20 12:18:36

I have thought about it but keep putting it off because I know I won't get through a paragraph without having an emotional breakdown sad

I suppose though that even if I survive getting it, I could get hit by a bus/have a sudden heart attack etc, so it may be good to do anyway just in case. It would be good for them to have something tangible to read and hang on to when I'm gone.

Pansypath Wed 08-Apr-20 18:08:48

Sorry for those of you who have experienced loss.

I think I will do one letter for all my kids to share. And the passwords in a sealed card is a good idea.

OP’s posts: |
DDIJ Wed 08-Apr-20 18:16:00

No. I don't have anything to say to them.

Long story short my will is in the house not with the solicitor and DD keeps moving it and shoving it in random places. I have made it clear that if she can't produce it she will get nothing but she would rather have nothing and make mess.

Realitea Wed 08-Apr-20 18:18:13

I wouldn’t worry too much. This could cause some really anxious people to absolutely lose their minds putting something like that.
It’s a very very small amount of people who die when you consider the population of this country.

RoxanneRoxannee Wed 08-Apr-20 18:21:40

No, I've not. Although I know this is serious and lots of people are going to die, I am early 30's, healthy, no underlying health issues good BMI and following socia distancing and staying home, but this post has really scared me sad

binkyblinky Wed 08-Apr-20 18:25:17

My sister has. She's a frontline nurse 😢

Jollitwiglet Wed 08-Apr-20 18:28:44

When both my daughters were born I set up an email account for both of them. I send them emails a few times a year

RoxanneRoxannee Wed 08-Apr-20 18:29:26

@Jollitwiglet this is such a good idea, I really wish I have done this, and send pictures etc

OldLace Wed 08-Apr-20 18:29:29

Its a good idea anyway tbh, it's just that this wretched virus has brought it all to the front of our minds.

Iwant2move Wed 08-Apr-20 18:31:03

If you do write letters, don’t destroy them. I have sympathised with many on this forum when they have lost their partner or child. I always thought it would never happen to me. Three months after moving to our dream home (had been planning for seventeen years), my wonderful husband was killed in a car crash. He was only just 53 years old and five minutes from home.

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