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Worried about babies development

(19 Posts)
Worriedandstressd Tue 07-Apr-20 09:31:54

Is anyone else worried that if this goes on for ages their babies development is going to suffer? My baby currently only sees me and my DP (but he works 6 nights a week and sleeps during the day so only really one proper day).
I'm trying so hard to keep her interested and engaged (she's 4.5 months) but I'm starting to really struggle. She seems to be going through sleep regression or teething or one of the one million other things that can effect a baby so is just cranky all day and screams for at least half an hour when I put her down for each nap no matter how vigilant I try to be to avoid her being ovetired.
She isn't getting to socialise or see anyone else and I'm worried what effect that will have on her if it's for a prolonged period of time.
I'd feel better if she wasn't just grumbling and angry and crying all day every day but the fact I literally can't take a break because we aren't allowed is wearing me down and I feel like depression is starting to creep in.

OP’s posts: |
Exoffice Tue 07-Apr-20 09:34:28

she is 4 months old. babies at that age need a primary caregiver, love and attention, not a social setting.

sillysmiles Tue 07-Apr-20 09:35:09

I don't think not seeing anyone else will affect your baby's development, but i think your creeping sense of depression will. Are you staying in touch with family and friends by phoning for a chat - even if its short?

Worriedandstressd Tue 07-Apr-20 09:36:28

@Exoffice I obviously know that. But if for example isolation is required for six months, that seems like an awfully long time to never see grandparents and build relationships or see other kids don't you think? I obviously know a 4 month old baby doesn't need a pumping social life, but thanks for the really helpful advice.

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 07-Apr-20 09:37:18

You have my total sympathy,4.5 months is hard. I can't imagine being isolated will have much of an affect but it may on you. Do you have friends or family that you could talk to?

If you tho k that you are getting depressed, have you spoken to your DH and your GP? The obvious thing like going for a walk each day and trying to eat well might help too.

As for DD have you tried her with a dose of Calpol to see if she's in pain?

sillysmiles Tue 07-Apr-20 09:37:45

Also, your partner, despite working nights needs to help more, even to give you an hour break in the morning when he gets home or in the evening before he leaves.

Also, try to make life easier for yourself anywhere you can.

BuffaloCauliflower Tue 07-Apr-20 09:38:21

Sorry you’re struggling. It is really shit. But it’s much more shit for you not being able to get out and see people, at that age all baby needs is you. Can you get a baby wrap and wear her whilst you go about your day? Just do your normal stuff with her with you, rather than trying to entertain her?

Wallabyone Tue 07-Apr-20 09:40:05

I feel for you, the relentlessness of not having anyone there to break the feeling of it all being on you is hard ❤️ Are you getting out for a walk each day? If you have a garden, just dress her and put her on a blanket and let her wriggle around outside for a change of scenery and it will dull the whinging a bit. Hugs, it's hard xxx

TeddyTeddy Tue 07-Apr-20 09:41:42

You have my sympathy as I am stuck in a small flat with a 22 month old, about to give birth any day now. I am worried about my toddler as I feel their world is getting smaller and smaller, they are doing really well and don’t seem distressed, but have stopped asking for the usual things they enjoy. However, I am very confident that your little one will not be set back in any way, they really do thrive on the undivided attention of a primary caregiver, and proper socialisation isn’t really a thing at that age. It’s very hard on us though!

majesticallyawkward Tue 07-Apr-20 09:45:03

My baby is around the same age and was pretty clingy before this, I've already decided to extend my maternity leave so I can gently work on his social interactions and being away from me before nursery. I don't think it will hurt development as such in the short term but it's definitely affecting me not being able to get out as the coffee meet-ups, support groups and baby classes were a lifeline.

I've also got dd4 at home and she's been quite jealous since lockdown started so the baby isn't getting much 1:1 time as she screams as soon as I do anything with him. All that on top of sleep regression/teething/cold/wind/growth spurt/whatever else could be bothering him.

Your baby will be fine op, you are all she needs right now, take care of yourself though

screwcovid19 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:46:58

The baby will be fine, it's you that will struggle (understandably). Get out for a long walk with the pram in the middle of the day. It will help.

Alb1 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:48:04

It won’t affect your baby’s development, and just try and remind yourself that the majority of other babies and children (including every other 4 month old) are in the same situation as you, your baby isn’t going to come out of this being the only 4 month old who hasn’t interacted with others for months, everyone’s in the same boat. Try and take care of yourself, I found that quite a difficult stage with my DS as he grumbled no matter what I did. Speak to someone in real life if you can, and remind yourself that this is normal baby development and you are absolutely enough for your child

Wolfgirrl Tue 07-Apr-20 09:51:48

Try not to worry - as PP said all with babies are in it together. If you think back to years ago, baby groups and playdates weren't really a 'thing' and babies spent all their time with family. Your baby will only want you at this point anyway!

LeeMiller Tue 07-Apr-20 09:51:59

4.5 months is a tough age, even without isolation.

I wouldn't worry about her development, it's highly unlikely lockdown in this shape and form could continue for 6 months, more likely is gradual easing and tightening of restrictions, social distancing but not full-on isolation. I'd focus on the day to day if possible and what will help you feel better - at her age she's fine if she's with you and her dad.

Socialising is important for you though (I admit crying when a baby grouo was cancelled), make sure you stay in touch by phone and videocall. My DS is a toddler now but we live abroad and have been regularly skyping the GP since he was born, and he knows and recognises them and has done since he was small. Are there any virtual baby groups (massage, songs, yoga, shared cup of tea) and chat you could join? A sling or wrap can be a lifesaver for letting you get on with things.

Exoffice Tue 07-Apr-20 09:52:36

@Exoffice I obviously know that. But if for example isolation is required for six months, that seems like an awfully long time to never see grandparents and build relationships or see other kids don't you think?

she will still be under 1.

Children dont really built relationships with other children at that age. Many children don't see their grandparents regularly - I know loads of families where the grandparents live abroad (in our case too). The children still have strong bonds with them.

I would not worry about it at all.

Worriedandstressd Tue 07-Apr-20 09:55:38

Thank you everyone for the kind words and understanding, it makes it feel much more manageable just hearing people sympathise.
And yes, it's right that all the other babies at this age will be experiencing the same thing, that's a good point and something I need to remember and remind myself.
The getting out for a long walk sounds like a great idea but I'm in Australia and where I am is still stinking hot most of the day so a long walk can sometimes cause more of an issue than help. I do try to go for a quick one in the evening with her though when it starts to cool down.
It's overwhelming not being able to just have someone give you a quick half hour break etc, the little things that were taken for granted that made difficult periods more manageable.
My partner does help as much as he can, but sometimes him getting stressed out by her just makes me feel more stressed rather than it feeling like a break.

OP’s posts: |
sillysmiles Tue 07-Apr-20 10:06:41

Maybe go for a walk in the morning/ evening before he leaves/ just as he is getting home to give yourself some headspace.
Phone people.
Try to avoid getting emotionally isolated as well as physically.

TheShapeJaper Tue 07-Apr-20 10:09:54

All my daughter did was puke for the first six months of her life. We couldn’t go anywhere! She’s fine. Try not to worry

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 07-Apr-20 10:27:13

If seeing your DP struggle with her is aiding you stress, could you go for that evening walk without them and let him find his own way of settling her?

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