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Shielding single parents support thread

(15 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Bercows Wed 01-Apr-20 09:51:11

Hi, I'm a single parent of three children and have asthma. I found out yesterday that I need to shield myself. Our household hasn't been out in 2.5 weeks now due to symptoms and we've coped fine but I'm starting to feel a little wobbly now at the thought of being stuck in for 12 weeks. I won't be the only one in this position and thought a support thread to have a moan and chat to others in the same situation might be helpful.

My only usual support is my 80 year old mum who is fully independent and active but us now unable to help to protect herself. I was doing online shopping for us both until there were no delivery slots available. Thankfully we both had substantial brexit boxes that have helped significantly. Thanks to the preppers on the brexit threads for that idea.

How are you feeling and coping? Do you have support?

OP’s posts: |
Bercows Sat 04-Apr-20 10:34:46

Good morning. I think this thread is of no interest to anyone or has been lost in the sheer volume of threads. Just giving it a bump so that single parents are aware it's here.

I finally managed to get a Tesco delivery! I was so e cited but worried it would be cancelled or would have most of the items missing. There were 4 substitutions and 2 items unavailable. Not bad at all as Tesco often have this issue I've found. I was like a child on Christmas morning when it arrived. It just goes to show how much I take food for granted usually. We have had an interesting week of food choices this week as supplies have run down and now we have a variety of options again and enough food to last 2-3 weeks. It also means that I've been able to get my mum's shopping too and she'll collect it later from the front door. She'll be so relieved as was starting to struggle.

I hope everyone is coping, I love being a single parent normally, but this situation is really hard without a break from the children at all.

OP’s posts: |
LilyMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 05-Apr-20 13:42:26

We're just giving this a bump for the OP. flowers

LemonsLemonade80 Thu 09-Apr-20 22:05:02

Hi Bercows

I saw your message after searching single parent / shielding, I have just been notified this applies to me, found out on 7th April, I’ve been adhering to isolation / social distancing but now found, I can’t go out at all.

I have been putting a brave face on the last month, I run a small business which won’t be running (no income) through the crisis as it’s severely impacted by it all and now the thought of living in a flat and not being able to get out at all now and the worry of getting very ill later in the year when restrictions might ease is terrifying. Let alone financial worries, managing my emotions and theirs etc.

Living very much day to day, hour to hour atm.

Sorry to off load but I just wanted to reach out to say you are not alone, I am in. Very similar situation and it’s very scary.

Right now trying to focus on just very small tasks and goals and keeping some calm in the home, on top of washing and one tasty meal a day to look forward too.

LemonsLemonade80 Thu 09-Apr-20 22:14:24

We have more than one meal but trying to have one of them as a something to look forward too by being creative with what we have. It’s not easy but it’s something to focus on.

I also am ensuring we use each room for a purpose to create some distance and mental space, my room is the snug for tablet zone, their room for reading and games, the living/kitchen for eating/school work/movie we can watch together. It means each room has a clear purpose and we aren’t all in living space doing lots of different things at the same time whilst I’m trying to cook or do chores or just grab 20 mins.

alwayslearning789 Thu 09-Apr-20 22:41:09

Hi Berocows

Just wanted to say you are not alone! I have just received my letter today, so still reeling from the realisation of what this will mean in practice.

My Brexit stash has diminished, and so I had to make hurried arrangements to register for food delivery from Tesco today for the days going forward. I hope it will come through.

Lemons that is such a good idea, which I will adopt too as I have such limited space as well.

I had a bit of a wobble when I received letter which reminded me of the challenges of coping with this on my own, and so I am grateful that you started this thread.

alwayslearning789 Thu 09-Apr-20 22:42:00

Apologies for the typo that should be Bercows....

loutypips Thu 09-Apr-20 22:49:49

I'm a single mum too, but living with my parents at the moment, so that makes things a little easier (although I do question that sometimes!). My mum is seriously ill, and so is on the shielded list. We actually had a call from the council today to check she was okay, and they gave us a number to call if my mum needs anything from prescriptions collected or for someone to do the shopping
Have you registered on the gov.uk website for vulnerable people yet? You maybe entitled to a food parcel and other help.

PumpkinP Thu 09-Apr-20 23:52:41

Hi, I’m a single mum to 4 ex not involved at all, it’s been... tough. Dd is also on the extremely vulnerable list so it means none of us can go out at all. I find being a single parent hard normally but this situation is making it 10 x worse. I’m also like you wondering about staying in for 3 months, I think I will crack up being inside for that long. How are you getting on?

LemonsLemonade80 Fri 10-Apr-20 00:27:30

Yes, so grateful for this thread. Everyone is going through so many challenges but parents/mums doing its alone and shielding ok top of everything is just hard to get my head around.

Yes the coms is really tough when it comes through, as it feels quite brutally worded and scary that the risk of severe illness of one of us in the household. I can’t seem to make sense of what it means post shielding as now I’m worried about what happens when the rest of the country can start moving around. I’ve decided tonight to look at it now as, the whole country is in isolation and I’m sure even unshielded it will be until end of the month, so we are not alone right now in probably total of 6/7 weeks of the 12, except we can’t go out but pretty much all in the boat most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, not even being able to get a moments headspace is hard but it’s not too far from the norm of other families.

As a single parent we don’t have the added emotions of a partner, it has its minuses as we can’t share this journey and it has added pressures but we don’t have an added stress there so maybe it balances out? I don’t know. I think I’m trying to say if we can get a routine going, rally the kids on board to be a support then we can do this our way, in our home, in a manner that works for us and the kids.

When lockdown is eased we won’t have too long after until we can start counting down and in that time, who knows by then a medicine which is really effective might be found. For now it’s little goals each day, really small ones and being grateful for each small win and positive thing that happens, a cup of tea in peace, going to the loo and not being disturbed, literally as basic as that I am saying out loud that I’m lucky, before i know it I’ve gone from crying to feeling happier and that I’m here to try and able to find a solution to each problem and safe at home.

It’s not easy at all, that’s why I’ve been googling to find comfort in knowing I’m not alone in trying to get through this all and figure out living a new normal for now.

togowhe Thu 23-Apr-20 08:46:10

Hi
I am a single mum shielding and it's been so hard that my son can't see his dad. I wondered if anyone had managed to find any solutions to that? I ve also desperately wanted to connect with other people in same situation. I wondere if anyone knew of any support groups for people shielding? Would love to set one up, so we can all share experiences and support each other through this

Bathbedandbeyond Thu 23-Apr-20 08:50:26

I’m a single parent and should be shielding. The reality is that I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills if I didn’t work, promote my child’s interests without going out for exercise etc, get food etc as there are no delivery slots. I have no support. I have no choice but to carry on as usual.

I’m sure if I die I’ll be criticised - but what can I do, it’s a risk I have to take.

Bercows Mon 25-May-20 00:18:53

Hi! I've just found this thread buried in my watched list rather than active so I didn't know that anyone had posted.
How are you all doing? I'm ok, s couple of bad days the last couple of weeks but on the whole it's not bothering me being at home. It's 10 weeks now and it's hard to imagine bro g out and about again.
Will catch up properly in the morning.

OP’s posts: |
pfrench Mon 25-May-20 00:53:51

Hats off to you all frankly.

Gingerninja4 Mon 25-May-20 12:34:48

Hi
Single parent here I only fall into the vulnerable but two of my children are extremely clinically vulnerable

I am exhausted luckily the kids are bring great

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