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TTC after MC - nice people in crap times, full of posifrickingtivity

(983 Posts)
WillSantaComeAgain Tue 02-Apr-13 13:49:18

Welcome aboard ladies (though obviously sorry you have to be here). We're a friendly bunch so come in and plump up a cushion for POAS Fridays and lots of posifrickingtivity. With a few (gentle) fish slaps thrown in for good measure.

Bakingtins Tue 02-Apr-13 13:54:41

Marking place. Probably a good thing that my "poor me" rant is confined to the end of thread whatever-it-was (I've lost count). Posifrickingtivity all the way. Here's to lots of fertile Fridays on this thread.

Thundercatsarego Tue 02-Apr-13 13:58:14

Hi all. Well done santa that is great!

thanks for tins. Shitty shitty all these anniversaries sad

WillSantaComeAgain Tue 02-Apr-13 13:59:54

Thanks Baking for the title. And I hope you're all impressed with my IT skills at leaving a link (I am!!)

How are you Tuesdays going? I think everyone was feeling quite low over the weekend, which is probably something to do with it being a long weekend, with plenty of catching up with families and friends etc (and therefore plenty of chances for insensitive comments).

I had a few friends with EDDs the same as me and it was really hard to see them. But you just have to get on with it. I am sure that when I was pg with DC1 (in those blissfully innocent days when I didn't know how hard getting or staying pg could be) I offended or upset people, even though I did try to be sensitive.

It comes down to the fact that beyond "I'm so sorry" there is nothing anyone can say that is "right", because the things that I know would make me feel better may make a different person feel worse. And it makes a big difference depending who it is saying it. So its much easier to take sympathy from a friend who has been through it themselves, than it is to take it from someone who has sailed through sprogging up every 2 years like clockwork.
Yet sorry sounds so trite and generally the insensitve comments are said with all good intent.

Anyway, this is a new thread so lots of posifrickintivity required! Here's hoping this one brings lots of BFPs. smile

WillSantaComeAgain Tue 02-Apr-13 14:01:14

Oh yes, hugs for you baking. Anniversaries are horrid and there is no disguising that fact.

Mummytothearkbuilder Tue 02-Apr-13 14:10:03

Thanks for the thread Santa!

I am feeling much the same as everyone else seems to be at the moment - nothing in particular kicked it off just feeling low. I am about 6 weeks post miscarriage and honestly thought it would be a distant memory by now (I know how naive that sounds). I hate the lack of control over my own emotions - generally in life if something is up or not right I deal with it and move forward but I cant apply that logic to this situation and its driving me mad - will it get easier??

I am 29 in a few weeks and someone told me that I 'better get a move on if I want DC#2' and that has got me fretting about things (they didn’t know about the miscarriage but still a bit off for them to say).

Bakings - big hugs to you lovely xx

Thundercatsarego Tue 02-Apr-13 14:26:12

29, mummy?!! You spring chicken you!

I am 34 and haven't managed to produce even one healthy child yet. Don't you let that sort of thing get to you!

santa you are right about the fact that there aren't many things that people can say as we're all so individual. I know I feel differently to many people on this thread even so try to be careful about what I say!

IBelieveInPink Tue 02-Apr-13 14:38:46

Hey lovelys. Sorry to hear that down- ness going on at the moment. Hopefully we will get some nice spring weather to brighten everything up soon.

Just checking in. I'm still hovering. Still in a Daily state of panic. Still not handling things that well. Nothing changes smile

Mummytothearkbuilder Tue 02-Apr-13 14:50:22

Ah thanks thunder - I don’t feel like a spring chicken and their comment really got me worrying - thanks for your reassurance xx

I am going to try and throw some posifrickintivity towards becoming a bit healthier as I'm hoping that will help with the TTC and if I don’t fall pregnant at least I can show the doctors that I am really trying and they may be willing to listen to me a bit more. I would like to lose 2 stone so starting the couch to 5k this week and going to eat a bit better - although it is not easy when our fridge looks like something from Charlie and the chocolate factory - DS has enough chocolate to last until Christmas!! xx

alyant79 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:14:17

hello shiny new thread!

I was not very posifrickentive on my last post on the old thread. lucky it will be forgotten.
in a change of spirit, I will poas friday, and I will get a bfp grin.
anybody going to hold my hand?

hugs tins. pity we can't just "forget" thos sad anniversaries. maybe we should start a "burn our bras calendars" campaign wink.

mummy, 29 is nothing! whatcha worrying about girl?

pink how long do you have to wait now for scan?

LittleBairn Tue 02-Apr-13 15:23:29

Thunder that actually makes sense, its helped me worry less and shush that voice in my head that whispers "your never going to have your own child..."

Baking there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, mile stone days are shit, but I'm thinking of you.

mummytotheark I get the nagging too a out age I'm only 28! But that is old in my family to be having your first and DH is mid 40's. So I also start worrying about it too. Then I read all the threads on here women having babies in their 40's times have changed, we will be fine.

I've decided one positive change I can make and in my control is too loose weight, I eat healthy but too late and eat more quick snacks than meals and try be more active. It will at least give the midwives less opportunities to make cat bum faces next time.

Thundercatsarego Tue 02-Apr-13 15:41:49

I'll hold your hand aly as long as its not the one you're holding the stick with

This thread is starting out with some positive thoughts- I like it! I'm on cd 13 here and no smiley yet. Still ttc-ish although have blood test this week to monitor my levels so I think there's no chance til things get settled.

pink a big hug for you. How far along now? Guess 8 weeks is the milestone to get past? Thank you for hovering x

Mummytothearkbuilder Tue 02-Apr-13 15:49:46

LittleBairn - I’m with you on the loosing weight front - we can do it!! I don’t want to give the Drs any reason not to listen to me properly about TTC and I know weight is the first thing they will see!!

I am feeling a lot more positive since my earlier post today - you ladies are so good at bringing out the posifrickintivity in me - love it!! x

Zeuxippe Tue 02-Apr-13 15:50:01

Hello like the new thread title vg!

Sorry to those having sad times sad.

I'm in a bit of a quandary. Af due on Sunday. I don't want to poas before then, but don't want to wait until the following Friday either. Can I poas on Sunday without any fish slapping becoming due?

alyant79 Tue 02-Apr-13 16:54:47

zeu that's the same as me! Actually AF due monday.

I was going to wait until then, but in the spirit of posifrickentivity might will poas friday: so do it with me (on a cheapie)!!
rationale as follows:
1. no fish slapping (most important wink)
2. if bfn: won't be disappointed as it's too early (or so I will tell myself), and/or will become more mentally prepared for AF's arrival
3. if bfp: will be v, v nervous of chemical pregnancy, but would be nervous of bfp on any day really

Zeuxippe Tue 02-Apr-13 17:37:44

Ooh I might just be tempted aly!!

shellshock7 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:23:01

Hey everyone, great thread title smile

Hope this posifrickintivity carries thru to some BFPs on Friday!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Tue 02-Apr-13 18:45:52

Afternoon all. Hope everyone is alright. Feel for everyone with either anniversaries coming up or pregnant friends who are presenting problems.

I'm a bit glum today too, but it is entirely my own fault as I felt the need to look at the September thread again. Don't know why I do it.

Grouch grouch grouch

I hope we see lots of BFPs this week. I'm not testing myself but like vicarious BFPs.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Tue 02-Apr-13 18:48:36

ooo - we have last nights new game of thrones recorded though <cheers up a bit>

LittleBairn Tue 02-Apr-13 19:05:50

camomile I watched it last night, so glad it's finally back on helps busy the mind.
The temptation of thread peaking is hard. I actually went off MN for about 3 months but when I first came back I made the mistake of taking a peak. It's like those game shows "here is a look a what you could have won...."
When I feel the temptation I actually close the browser down and busy myself with something until the temptation goes away.

ChocolateCremeEggBag Tue 02-Apr-13 19:10:06

Evening all, lovely new thread - thanks Santa flowers

Now who is being told that 28-29 is old! Hadn't even met DH til I was 30. Am staring 37 in the face (July) and it's not even occurred to me that I'm "old"

littlebairn sorry AF has got you, but heres hoping it's just a one off WTF cycle.
I'm having similar and just main a note of the timings in case they continue as will then take self to GP to get fobbed off

LittleBairn Tue 02-Apr-13 19:19:54

chocolate I know it rediclous I start believing them, then realise its them being out of touch not me. Plus almost all my bosses have been 40+ with at least one of their kids.

I'm actually the only (but one who has decided not to have children) one of my 15 female cousins who hasn't had a child, even my youngest cousin is due soon. I don't come from a scummy family but for some reason they reproduce young amd as easily as rabbits so I really do feel like a failure at times.

Funny how no one dares to say anything to the men, my DH is mid 40s no one is telling him to get a move on! Well apart from me during TTC week. wink

Lieslvontrapp Tue 02-Apr-13 19:28:55

Thanks Santa for the new thread. Baking hugs for those tough anniversaries. Sorry to hear lots of people have been feeling down. Hopefully the new thread brings lots of positivity and bfps.

I agree 28-29 is not old for a dc1 never mind a dc2!

I'm now on the 2 week wait and hoping to poas a week on Friday. Anyone else? Good luck to Zeux and Aly for bfps this week.

ldt87 Tue 02-Apr-13 20:00:05

Can I join please, currently miscarrying and all I can think about is getting pregnant again. I should have had my first midwife appointment tomorrow and would have been 10 weeks. What a way to spend the easter weekend! Did anyone else feel like an intense need to conceive again? It took us nearly 2 years this time and I'm terrified it will take so long again.

IBelieveInPink Tue 02-Apr-13 20:04:40

Thunder I am 7+2 now. Yes, speaking of anniversaries, this Sunday is the day to get past, that will be 8 weeks, where it all went tits up the first time.
Am planning a whole weekend of sitting and doing nothing!

Aly- is 1 week, 2 days and 13 hours til scan. Still terrified and convinced it is going wrong every day!

Yay for Friday poas-ers, I have everything crossed for you. (especially legs)

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