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Wanting another...family do not...

(8 Posts)
MrsPlaygirl Sat 13-Aug-05 01:39:45

Hi there I would love to hear from anyone who is thinking of or has a big family and their family *mum etc* is against this. I have a dh and four kids and my side of family have always been against me having them and everytime I have a child they say they are a mistake and I should not have had them...it hurts real bad as I have my own family and my own life but they cannot except this....and my dh and I would like more any advice mums net ......

Rachey1969 Sat 13-Aug-05 10:26:19

MrsP that's awful! I have 3 and am nearly 20 wks with number 4 and I expected that sort of reaction and have been generally pleasantly surprised. My mum was very cool at first (it will be her 8th grandchild) but dp family totally made up for it, it being their first. Last week my mum actually asked to see the scan which surprised me and talked about coming down when the baby is born, she had been very quiet up until then. I think she is just worried about me coping physically, mentally and financially. What is it your family object to?

MrsPlaygirl Mon 15-Aug-05 12:28:35

Hi Rachey1969 thanks for your post, I am not really sure why they are like this, but she always states she would not have done the same (she only had my sis and I) and my life is not my own and financially. She has gotten so angry everytime I have fallen pregnant and even digs now her grandchildren are here, she feels it is her business and I am fed up with it, but on my DHs family side his mother is alway great about it.

Toothache Mon 15-Aug-05 12:32:29

MrsP - Thats terrible! I'm a bit hotheaded so I'd be inclined to stop her seeing her grandkids if all she can do is tell what a mistake they are!!!!

That really is bang out of order and she needs short sharp shock. Just coz it's not what she would do doesn't mean its wrong! You go for it...... and don't tell your Mum. And when she asks "How come everyone else knew you were pg before I did????" Just tell her the truth.... that she is horrible about it so you didn't think it was any of her business!

MrsPlaygirl Mon 15-Aug-05 13:35:01

Thanks Toothache, I think I probably won't tell her next time, she has never really been much of a maternal mum to me and my father died quite a few years ago now before my marriage and kids. I think if it comes to it this time I will say either accept me or don't.....

robinia Mon 15-Aug-05 14:14:07

My parents aren't overly enthusiastic about my largish family either. They were probably the last to know about my current pregnancy - dad said "oh dear" and mum said "well I hope it's not another boy"

I've given up expecting them to be happy for me. On the other hand if they were ever to have a go at me about it I think a full scale row would erupt.

MrsPlaygirl Mon 15-Aug-05 14:26:54

Well I think this is what I am going to do and if they are not happy about it then its bye bye I could quite honestly live without their disapointment in me all the time, its a shame though I am hoping to behave diferently towards my children as I would hate them to feel about me as i feel about my parent.

mumxfour Tue 16-Aug-05 23:17:26

i think your family have no right to treat you this way when you are a grown woman in her own right and have your own family and decisions to make....you do what you feel is right for you and your FAMILY.

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