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Great holiday opportunity; but Qs; anyone stopped TTC for any time? How was it?

(22 Posts)
Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 09:58:21

Just wanted to guage some opinions and thoughts really, as this is still only in its initial ideas stage, and a long time in future too.

As many of you we have been TTC for #2 for a year now. Now DD took a long time to arrive when we first TTC too, so we were expecting this. A pain, but we deal with it okay I think.

Now, my SIL is Australian, and she and BIL live here in the UK, but tend to go back to Oz once a year at the moment. BIL has mooted the idea of us all going together next November (2006).

Timing is great for DD as she will be starting school the January after, so it will be our last chance to go easily in their summer time (without missing school and incurring teacher's wrath ) for a while.

However the TTC thing is my only concern now.

We wouldn't be booking until about March time, but I need to think this through and decide on how I feel really.

I don't mind travelling pregnant (up to 28 weeks is it?) and I have no problems about taking a tiny baby on the flight either - wouldn't do it before 4-6 weeks though, allows for passports, etc too.


So, if we do want to go:

(a) I have until Christmas this year to concieve, about 4 months - taking me to 16 months of TTC (been opg twice - both took 14/15 months). That would make me due latest September, so baby would be a couple of months old.

(b) If not pg by the New year, I will need to stop TTC. I could then resume TTC around the summer time - so maybe 5 or 6 months off. If I then concieved I'd be within the 28 weeks cut off or whatever it is for flyig.


So, my main question is this really:

* What would you do?

* Has anyone stopped TTC properly (would have to use contraception to be sure not to get pg) for any length of time? If so, how was it? Did you deal with that okay?


My thoughts at the moment is that I do want to go and it is great opportunity, but I am also scared of the thought of stopping TTc and missing those valuable 5 or 6 months - but will it be worth it? Dilemmas!


Off out in a sec, so not ignoring anyone. Just looking forward to some thoughts, other than my rambled ones!

TIA

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 10:11:20

Anyone?

Mum2girls Mon 08-Aug-05 10:15:17

Sorry, have been through TTC, but not had to delay it. The overiding thought I have when I read your post is whether it is putting undue pressure on you and your dh? Is age a factor for you?

gingerbear Mon 08-Aug-05 10:26:24

It is a long way ahead isn't it? There are many things that could happen between now and then that could alter your plans. If you didn't get pregnant before Christmas how would you deal with not TTC? Would you feel desparate to get on with it or be glad of the break? Have you seen the doctor yet - I know it is a big step, and please excuse me if you feel I am being too nosey, but if you had infertility tests / treatment, perhaps you could conceive before Christmas?

gingerbear Mon 08-Aug-05 10:27:25

That doesn't read as I meant it to come across, sorry Hula, I will email you later.

elliott Mon 08-Aug-05 10:34:43

Difficult one. My experience of ttc is a bit different in that I never conceived naturally, but i do remember the dilemmas of whether to put plans on hold or just get on with things.
How old are you? I think ultimately it depends on how much you want a second child and how worried you are about not managing it. Personally (because my experience is not positive and therefore I tend to the pessimistic in these matters) I would probably rather have the extra months ttc than go travelling. Actually what I would probably do is book anyway and cancel if necessary, but I appreciate that is potentially a big financial hit to take (not as expensive as IVF though which is how I would look at it) Have you tried looking at travel insurance policies to see whether there is any mileage in booking and then cancelling? Probably not going to be a goer, but it might at least be worth looking at the facts before you make a decision.

Worriedbev Mon 08-Aug-05 10:57:35

Hula
I know the feeling. My DH wants to go and see his daughter in Australia in January next year and I dont want him to go if I am pg at the time, although he misses his grandchildren terribly. I cant go as my dd is starting grammar school in September this year so it is causing friction between us. He is not going to book his flight until the last possible minute, after Christmas if poss so that I know for sure one way or the other whether I am pg or not. Perhaps you could delay booking up until the last minute if you can and leave the holiday open until as long as poss.
Bev

bobbybob Mon 08-Aug-05 10:59:23

Travel - you are likely to conceive on holiday if you haven't before!

cori Mon 08-Aug-05 11:09:40

I have a similar problem.
It is my grandmothers 90 th birthday in October 2006. I am planning on going to Australia for the party. Which means I really have to get pregnant within the next two -three months in order to be able to travel with a small baby. I dont want to stop TTC if I dont get pregnant soon, but I really dont want to miss this family celebration either.
Am
now having acupuncture, hopefully will speed tthings up.

cori Mon 08-Aug-05 12:50:29

Whoops, sorry for killing thread.

Littlefish Mon 08-Aug-05 13:26:30

Hi Hullababy

My dh and I were ttc for 2.5 years before I got pregnant with dd. At one point I was offered a fantastic promotion at work which meant more money, but a lot more work too. I just couldn't make up my mind what to do because I was sure that the extra stress would stop me conceiving, but also really wanted the promotion in case we didn't manage to conceive as it would give me something to take my mind off it (if you see what I mean!). In the end, I took the promotion, AND got pregnant!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you can't guarantee that you either will, or won't get pregnant in the right timescale, so maybe you just have to make a decision based on all the circumstances except ttc. If you get pregnant after New Year, then the worst thing that can happen is that you have to cancel or postpone your trip. As long as you have bought tickets that are refundable then you will not be out of pocket.

Australia will always be there - it's not going anywhere!

With regard to your dd and school - it's a great opportunity for your daughter to see different cultures and other parts of the world. As a teacher, I encourage parents not to take holidays at key times in the school year (September, October, or SATS). However, a trip like this is enriching your child's education.

How comfortable do you feel about not ttc for 5-6 months? Will it feel like "wasted" time?

Sorry, I don't think I've really helped!

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 18:28:52

Thanks for lots of replies. Just back in so will have a read through after dinner

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 18:38:35

Age factor - not really. DH and I are both 32, so not that old for TTC.

The idea of the holiday and thoughts are not stressing us at all. The idea has only just been mooted. And I am less stressed than I have been for a long while right now

Gingerbear - I am having blood tests next month, just to see what is happening with me. If that is inconclusive then DH may go for tests. But they won't offer us any treatment on NHS at all anyway, as we have a child already, and I doubt we would pay for this. But to know the scopre would be nice as we can make informed choices then.

I know it's a long time, but I am wanting to try and get my head round it all.

TBH, the idea of having an enforced break from TTC might, secretly, be nice I think.

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 18:43:05

I also think it will be an either or situation in that we can't continue to TTc after it is booked. I doubt travel policies will cover us. And it isn't fair on BIL/SIL who would also incur extra expenses if we didn't go.

The timing is great for DD. After that Christmas she'll be at school. She'd then have to miss 3 weeks (not prepared to go at Cristmas) of school and I know, being a teacher until recently, how much headteachers recently are cutting back on letting children out for 2 weeks, let a lone 3. I know the benefits of such a trip, but I also know that a headteacher may not agree to it.


I don't know. At present, I am edging towards going and having a TTC break. I think the break might o me and Dh some good.

And it may indeed be a pointless debnate - I amy get pregnant before then! Fingers crossed.

Pruni Mon 08-Aug-05 18:47:50

Message withdrawn

bubble99 Mon 08-Aug-05 20:52:23

Do you mind me asking how old you are Hula? I'm asking because I've just turned 39 and I'm aware that I need to make the most of every month to TTC.

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 20:58:00

Both me and Dh are 32.

We were 26 when we first started TTc for #1. That took 15 months, an early mc and then another 14 months.

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 20:58:37

So age isn't really a big issue as such.

Maybe once I have siome results from the blood tests next month I will know more to help witht he decision.

bubble99 Mon 08-Aug-05 21:46:40

In normal circumstances time is definately on your side Hula. I s'pose you'll need to wait for the results to be sure.

Hulababy Mon 08-Aug-05 21:48:06

Think so.

Still have 4 months too. Been opg twice - both took 14/15 months, which is only another 2 months wait...so here's hoping!

teuch Tue 09-Aug-05 15:11:00

hi, don't know if you recall from the TTC thread but DH and I agreed we had to put things on hold for a while due to a complete change of location, lifestyle and jobs (which would include circumstances which were unsafe for pregnancy)...

I found out I was pregnant at the last breath before stopping! I think the knowledge that we were stopping took the pressure off a bit...

madrush Tue 09-Aug-05 15:27:23

Hulababy,

I reckon you've answered your own question - by saying it might be a relief to stop ttc for a while.

Believe me, I know how stressful ttc can be for whole family and I think that in your situation, no age pressures, I'd plan the holiday. I'm sure you'd still be secretly hoping to get pg in meantime, but a bit less obsessed about it if you had such a great treat planned too. And someone else said - holidays are great times to conceive!

Best of luck, xx

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