Should we go for a number 3 and if yes, then how long has it taken others to TC after Mirena removal?

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Sorry i wrote on the Feb Bus, when i haven't even had Mirena removed yet, and still feeling very nervous about making THE decision. Anyone else going for a number 3 with 2 young children..
I can't believe how difficult i am finding this very simple decision - did anyone else feel like this?
Would LOVE to have another DS is nearly 3 and DD 15months. But my husband thinks i have lost the plot!

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

sorry meant to put full stop after 'another' - very new to this!

Also - there are lots of factors to consider - i ended up having c-sec with DD, so would like to hear about anyone who had VBAC or another c-sec... and what you think

[oiseau]

Hello pinefarm, I so understand what you are going through and even though we are now actively ttc I still have moments when I think - what on earth am I doing.

My story is that I had DS1 with my ex husband, he is now 7. We split when DS1 was only 18 mths and then I met DH and we had DS2 pretty swiftly so he is now 3. DH has always wanted another one but I was the one who resisted. Main reason being I suffered quite badly with PND with both boys and didn't feel I could go there again. I also found lots of very practical reasons not to do it car, number of bedrooms, money, even number of bedrooms on holidays!

Then after Christmas I had this overwhelming feeling that it was now or never and I really wanted to have a bigger family. I am one of 3 and so is DH and we both want that for the boys. A friend said to me don't think about how many "babies" you want think about what size family and that made sense to me. So here I am going for it and really hoping we haven't left it too late - am 38 now.

I conceived DS2 after mirena removal first proper cycle. This time I am on cycle 3 but we didn't try properly first cycle as DH away on business atcrucial time.

It is so difficult and I think the step of making the appointment to get the Mirena out sort of adds to the decision - it is so definite rather than a - oh lets just see what happens approach.

Sorry for rambling on!

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Thanks for your reply oiseau.
Sounds like you are definitely doing the right thing.
I think one of the reasons i got the Mirena fitted was so i would have to think about getting pregnant in more detail next time! Because with DS & DD, i sort of came off the pill and was pregnant before i'd had chance to think about ttc... so i know what you mean.
There are So many factors to consider this time - where as before, we knew we wanted 2 children... so the decision was made.
I am 1 of 4 and hubby is 1 of 2, so think he has trouble understanding why i like the idea of more.. on the other hand, i never felt like my mum had the time/energy by the time she got to no.4 and so that puts me off .. but then i think that might have been her, not the fact she had 4... (now i am rambling!)
Another thing, is i had a really rough time with no1 and c-sec with no2, so even though i can't let the birth put me off, i would be interested to know how no3 would come out!
I know it might seem like i'm popping one out after the other, but i've taken a 'career break' to raise the babies, and thats what i want to do all in one go.. i think once i'm back to work, i won't be wanting to do the baby thing again..
I know someone might read this and think - is that all she has to worry about?! in the whole scale of things, its not big deal - BUT at the moment, i feel like i need to know!
I'm sure its not too late for you, and hoping you get another bambino soon as poss :-)

[oiseau]

I was just pondering your age gaps - I often look at my boys (4 years apart) and wish there was a brother or sister in between them - that would like right to me. That is what you would have, and it will be hard work but you will be all over and done much more quickly! If I do have another baby I will be spending another 12 years in the primary school playground - arghhhh!
Birth wise - sounds like you could opt for elective caesarian which by all accounts from friends who have had emergency c section first time and insisted on elective the next is an altogether better experience. I luckily had relatively easy births so that is not something I am too worried about, it's once they arrive my problems start!
You are so right about the first two not really being decision they were just done deals - it was exactly the same with me. This number 3 has been a complete surprise decision but now I am really excited by it and it feels the right thing to do.

Go on - make an appointment, see what happens!

[AndieWalsh]

I have a 5 yr old and 18 mth old and would love a third. Just have to convince DH now.
I swing between thinking I must be mad (like, actually mad - have bad pregnancies, would have to have another c-section, hate lack of sleep, would fuck up my career for a bit etc etc) and desperate broody feelings....

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Thanks for your support!
Half of me loves the idea of getting on with it, i am 29 and think wouldn't it be lovely to have all 3 DC before i'm 30! Then sometimes i think my DH might be right, and i might never feel 'done' and maybe shouldn't rush it.
oisaeu: I know what you mean about the 4 year age gap, i do already love it, when DS&DD play nicely.. and when i asked DS what he wanted for his 3rd birthday, he said, another 'Gracie', so he obviously loves having a little sister so close.
Also, you know you said, its a surprise decision - i'm worried if we go for it now, that will be all the fun gone then...BUT THEN, like you said about the playground... it would be nice that one more would go off to primary every 2 years... and all be at primary at the same time..
You know what, i could dilemma for months.. like you said, maybe i should just book an appointment!
Andie Walsh, did you have 2 c-secs already? About the career, i just think you can always go back to that later on... i have no regrets about giving up work, and LOVE being a sahm at the moment. I am desperately broody, i feel sick with wanting one.. when ever i think about a baby.. or talk to my pregnant friends/family.

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Thanks for your support!
Half of me loves the idea of getting on with it, i am 29 and think wouldn't it be lovely to have all 3 DC before i'm 30! Then sometimes i think my DH might be right, and i might never feel 'done' and maybe shouldn't rush it.
oisaeu: I know what you mean about the 4 year age gap, i do already love it, when DS&DD play nicely.. and when i asked DS what he wanted for his 3rd birthday, he said, another 'Gracie', so he obviously loves having a little sister so close.
Also, you know you said, its a surprise decision - i'm worried if we go for it now, that will be all the fun gone then...BUT THEN, like you said about the playground... it would be nice that one more would go off to primary every 2 years... and all be at primary at the same time..
You know what, i could dilemma for months.. like you said, maybe i should just book an appointment!
Andie Walsh, did you have 2 c-secs already? About the career, i just think you can always go back to that later on... i have no regrets about giving up work, and LOVE being a sahm at the moment. I am desperately broody, i feel sick with wanting one.. when ever i think about a baby.. or talk to my pregnant friends/family.

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

just think it would be really good timing now.. in an ideal world, i wouldn't want another xmas/ Jan baby.. and would quite like to be settled into a nice routine by the time DS goes to school & DD preschool next sept.

[oiseau]

spring babies are lovely!
Wanting another gracie for his birthday is just so gorgeous, I am amazed you didn't ring the docs there and then!

however slight voice of reason here _although I do think you should just get on with it - you are so young you do have time to wait! Plus make sure DH is totally on board so he will be fully in it with you when the wheels come off when the baby arrives!! not looking on saying - you wanted this baby ...

My DH is well aware of his responsibilities re night feeds and lie ins - if i could have got him to sign a legally binding contract i would have done!

[oiseau]

AndieWalsh - you made me laugh about ACTUALLY MAD! I think I am ACTUALLY MAD actually. TBH i fucked up my career when i had my first - 3 days a week just didn#t cut it in my job so i didn't go back after the second. And the lack of sleep is beyond awful - I was in a grump this morning because had to get up to DS2 whose blanket had fallen off - nothign compared to being up 3 times feeding.

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Lets hope we both have spring babies! Perfect!
Thanks for the voice of reason - i know i am still young, but i've kind of set aside this time to have my babies, and although i know it will be a sad day when i decide thats it and i've finished, i also know that there will be a day when i realise i just want to get on with enjoying the ones i have, and stop doing the late nights/ nappies/ tantrums, so hopefully whist i still have energy and BIG BROODINESS! Then i should go for it...
Think my Dh wants another, but he just doesn't think about 'when' and doesn't think theres any hurry... he also knows that a newborn puts a strain on our relationship .. so hopefully he will step up to the task! He is a dairy farmer, so he definitely won't be involved in the late night feeds, or giving me a lie in, as he is up at 5.30am 365 days of the year! I TOTALY know what you mean about getting them to sign a contract! Just getting him to have a full week off for us would be a major bonus!
I'm not even thinking about career until the kids go to school.. then i will reassess the situation!

[oiseau]

OMG 5.30am 365 days of the year??I bow to your endurance!
Yes fingers crossed for spring babies - please update when you get it taken out. I'll keep an eye out for this thread! I've just stared the two week wait to test for this month - fingers crossed for me!

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Theres pro's and cons, but i chose this 'way of life' so can't really moan about it - DS & DD will have a lovely childhood.. 'on the farm' and its the only way we could live somewhere so idyllic... anyway, enough rambling. I am happy with my lot because, even though i am ready to drop at 7pm - bedtime, and hes no where near coming in to help... i know hes out working his ass off for our future, not down the pub getting drunk with his mates..
none of my family live near, so the hardest time is when i am ill... and still have to carry on! (you saying about endurance!)
Well, this is my update - i called the doctors, and the receptionist said theres no appointments with the nurse for weeks! So i had to explain, and she said she didn't know the 'procedure' and what sort of appointment to book for me?! So she is getting the nurse to ring me at some point tomorrow.. now i feel a bit nervous! I shouldn't be.. because if i was just on the pill, i wouldn't have to feel like this!
Keeping my fingers crossed for you, i feel like i am waiting for your test aswell, so let me know?

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

started daydreaming now - wouldn't it be an amazing pressy for my 30th on the 3rd May next year?! NOt sure i can time it that precisely though!!

[oiseau]

3rd of May is my DH's bday and 2nd of May is DS1!!
We just moved from London to the country and it is glorious and so glad we did it for the boys. I am at home on my own a lot as DH still works in London quite a bit but like you think its worth it for the lifestyle. I HATE being ill since have had kids. All I want to do is watch This Morning and read hello magazine and I still have to get up and keep going - yuk. My SIL has her and my DH parents living almost next door and she regularly rings them up and says she has headache can they go and do bedtime - she has 4 kids!!! (sorry completely random rant there)
Bizarre re your doctors! just to warn you that I bled really heavily after having both of my Mirenas out. The first time I completely panicked as i thought I was haemorrahging. we had friends round for dinner and I suddenly felt this flood and I got up to go to the loo and there was a puddle of blood on my chair ...(sorry tmi), i called NHS direct!! Nurse that did it didn't say a word about that happening. Second time same thing happened but at least I was prepared.

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Coincidence or what! I often come across people with 3rd May Birthday, it must be very popular! a couple of people on my class at school, a girl i lived with at uni (still friends with) and my best friends son! funny..
I also know what you mean re your SIL... i have that issue with mine.. it really niggles/grates doesn't it! I just can't believe how much help she expects! I wouldn't want to be that 'dependant' on grandparents though.
Thanks for the warning... even though i'm in no desperate hurry to have it taken out, we have a few weddings/ things coming up in June & July, so it seems ideal timing to do it now, whilst it won't be too much of inconvenience to be bleeding heavily.
I have read/heard some things about Mirena removal, maybe you can shed some light, but i will ask nurse..
you have increased chance of MC if you don't leave 3 cycles after removal for your uterus wall to thicken up - do you know if thats true? Also, increased chance of stillbirth - very scary?
Also, people saying their fertility takes months to come back? But they might have taken that long to get pregnant anyway?

[oiseau]

Yikes - well I didn't know any of those things. I didn't leave 3 cycles before conceiveing DS2 and obv didn't MC, and the stillbirth thing I have never heard about - very very scary. Agree re the fertility thing - there is no way of knowing if the delay is becauseof the Mirena or it would have taken that long anyway. I think if youdidn't have trouble before you will be fine. Did you have periods with yoru Mirena? With my first one I didn't but this last one I ave had light spotting each month.

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

I think i have been too google-happy, i'm a bit neurotic about these things! Probably a very tiny tiny chance and no proper evidence otherwise they would have to tell you...
Not really.. thats one thing i love about it.. but i can feel it when were .. tmi... and so can my DH, so even if i change my mind and realise i'm actually barking mad, i think i would like it out anyway.. I also have had really bad headaches in the last year, so would be interesting to see if they stop - but wouldn't have taken it out because of these, because i am also tired and other factors in to the mix.
What a beautiful day!

[oiseau]

bit grotty here actually. My dh said he could feel it - I thought he was just trying to show off about how big he was so didn't believe him!!

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

We had a lovely day here, but we just had showers..
Ha ha.. funny about your DH
The nurse rang today and said it takes 1 month to get cycle back.. she said i wouldn't bleed until 1 month after having it taken out.. which won't be very convenient if its like you described, as i'll be at Ascott Ladies Day for my friends hen party! Ho hum...! So booked appointment next weds. Then my DH said tonight, he isn't 100% sure but coming round to the idea.. so have decided to take it out, then wait until after our holiday in July... then if we still feel like we want another one, then go for it! Theres no hurry i suppose, and because all my friends and family are having babies, i have more than enough baby cuddles to keep me going.

[oiseau]

Yay for next weds. all sounds sensible - ttc in aug and you'll get your 30th birthday baby!
I bled literally 2 days after removal both times and then had another more normal period couple of weeks later - must be some kind of medical oddity then!
good luck pine farm - see you back here soon I hope

[pinefarmpooperscooper]

Very excited! I know we haven't decided yet, so i shouldn't count my chickens. But atleast when/if we do decide to go for it, i will have my cycles back to normal and we can be in control.
I am sooo indecisive! Because my heart is telling me we have to do it! and my head (and the fact i cannot cope when i'm ill and might be a bad pregnancy) is telling me not to be so STUPID!
Thats funny, when i asked her she said, you will bleed one month after - and i had already thought, i was getting it over with now, because we have weddings in june and holiday in july. So wanted to get this 'flooding' (yuk) out of the way! So lets hope i do the same as you..
Still keeping my fingers crossed for you oiseau, what date should you know by?
also, bit strange that someone else replied to this thread and its come through seperately? maybe i did it wrong? oh well!

[Jemz]

hello!! just wanted to say reading what you've all written applies to me too, so any more info on having mirena removed, or coping with 3, potentially all under 5 would be much appreciated!!