I think big op for you with hospital stay, invasive surgery, or much less invasive surgery for DH and home the same day. The op is much lower risk and much simpler for men - which is why many men have it done and their wive's 'tell' them too. I do think as long as they agree it is the best option. How old is your DH?
My DH had the snip on Monday this week! WE thought about, we both only wanted two children, and he says he never wants another... no matter what! The snip was a 20 minute operation and since then he's been a bit "uncomfortable" but nothing too bad. They don't even have to use a scalpel these days! IMHO, it should be the man, a sterilisation for a woman is a major operation, and has loads of risks. For a man, yes there are a few risks - the major one being that it might not work, but nothing bad. A man's sterilisation can be reversed, but not on the NHS and I think the doctor said there's a 50% chance of success. Hope this helps.
Statistically, the vasectomy has a higher success rate and is far less complex a procedure. Female sterilisation also carries a (very small) risk of ectopic pregnancy. No such major risk is associated w/vasectomy. Vasectomy is also cheaper.
My husband is having one after our 2nd is born. Neither one of us wants more kids.
Personally, if my husband died and I met someone else who didn't have kids, and wanted them, he'd need to move on and find someone else.
SN, you will be having an operation where you have to be put under anaesthetic, with all the risks that this entails. I think it is done laproscopically (a few small inscisoin sites) rather than the big cut now, but still carries risk of infection and possibility of hysterectomy if it all went wrong, which leaves you unable to do much for at least six weeks. IMO vasectomy is far and above the best choice under normal circumstances.
Men can bank sperm, so that even if a vasectomy isn't reversible, they can (maybe) still have kids.
I'm not sure where I am about all this, either. I'm older than DH, but less certain about not wanting more kids. I do think that if I died, or we broke up, he might easily end up with someone who wanted her own kids, and why not?
Failure rate is higher with female sterilisation (around 1 in 100) than male (around 1 in 1000). A mirena coil has a lower failure rate than female sterilisation so a lot of doctors will suggest that as safer alternative, but don't be put off if you really want to be sterilised yourself - ultimately it is your choice!
sobernow - 35 is too young IMO for any man to have the snip. You never know what life holds for you and who knows in 10/15/20 years time what his personal situation may be?
My dad had the snip in the 1970's after my younger brother was born during my dad's 2nd marriage, when he was in his ealry 30's. Fast forward 15 years and my dad remarries a much younger woman who wants a child. A trip to Harley Street, parting with loads of dosh to have a reversal and luckily for them it worked and they now have a son aged 13.
My dad has had leukaemia for the past 9 years and he is convinced (although there is no proven link) that his body reacted to his sperms as a foreign body after the reversal therefore messing up his immune system and being a cause of his cancer. There may of course be other reasons for it and the snip having nothing at all to do with it.
My dh is dead against interfering surgically with the body's natural functions and would never entertain the idea of having the snip.
Have you considered other options such as the T-safe IUD for instance?
Ultimately it is your choice, I just know that after years of being the one that has been on the pill, had crap pregnancy, crap birth, crap coil experience I just dont want any more fiddling thank you very much. If its going to be anyone it will be DH, along with all the statistics, I dont see it as being a difficult decision for us.