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2nd baby all in my head ??(7 Posts)
This is going to sound weird but I have to talk to someone, I have posted on the Feb antenatal thread. My period was 2 days late on Sunday and I did a test (OK, two tests !) and to my utter shock they were both positive. My DS is only 8 and a half months old and I had been told a second baby was very unlikely (due to severe endometriosis) and DS was a bit of a miracle as it was.
The thing is I just don't feel pregnant (no symptoms at all other than lack of period) when I think of this pregnancy I don't feel the joy and excitment I did with DS only the fear that this is not the right time and it's not how I wanted it to be.
Then I feel guilty for feeling this way. I've told my parents and MIL and their response was very nothing. No one has mentioned it since and I feel like they are embarassed or that I have somehow done something wrong like I'm 14 or something. Everyone was over the moon with 1st pregnancy this time I haven't had as much as a text or a bunch of flowers or even a how are you feeling. 1st time round names, schools and the merits of various travel systems were already being discussed. I'm not being paranoid, DH has noticed this too. He is thrilled that we can have another against the odds and is congratulating himself on his super sperm !
I've sent DH of to Tesco's to buy another set of tests just to convince myself that I'm not totally loopy.
Has anyone been in a similar situation ??
I think the excitement for 2nd babies is watered down whatever the circumstances! And I know for a fact both my friend and I were not ready to have our 2nds even though we wanted them! All seems normal to me. Perhaps people are waiting till you're a bit further on to congratulate etc -a lot of people are sceptical at such an early stage.
Good luck - hope things look up for you!
dojnt worry about it not being real i am currently 15wks pg with no.2 and still cant get my head aroun actually having another baby by xmas where as with ds i was excited and had bought lots etc by this stage where this time i have bought one suit only because i felt guilty about not buying anything...the other thing is with an older baby/toddler [my ds is 20mths] u just dont have time to think about it as such
just give urself time...but not too long as u only have 8mths..lol
exactly that - no-one (except you and dh!) are as excited about a 2nd baby and a 1st. my family didnt make half the fuss over dd2 as they did over dd1 (its just as well she wont remember or even know about it, poor thing)
also, i was thinking, maybe they are worried about you cos its so early, and were trying to hide it failing
just carry on with being excited, it doesnt really matter what others think, apart from you and dh
congrats and get those other tests done! xxx
thanks for your support ladies, I've done the tests (yes both of them !) and still pregnant. Can't believe this has happened at all never mind so quickly. I guess you are right I had a tough time towards end of first pregnancy and with labour so they could just be scared. Also we have just moved into rented accomodation while our house is being sold so mum is probably worried we won't have roof over our heads !
I'll just have to psych myself up and get on with it, I'm a bit scared about coping to tell you the truth but that's a whole other thread - the trauma of 2 under 2 !!
tbh LM, my parents and dh's parents were not v excited about ds1, never mind ds2 or ds3!
Congratulations! I have a similar gap between my two (now 6 and 4) and there are quite a few other other mumsnetters with similar gaps.
I would suspect that it's the earliness than may be the reason why people are hanging off - also if you are not showing great excitement, then they may not know quite how to react. Certainly my mother said that we shouldn't tell anyone until 14 weeks (she had 3 miscarriages herself). The second baby thing too - especially when you said no1 was a bit of a miracle. Are there lots of other babies in the family? If your first was an early grandson then that would be a reason for big excitement, whereas they may now be thinking, well we don't really need to get excited for a while? That's certainly how I felt with dd - we felt like old hands (little did we know!) and didn't really start preparing for months (also there is less to do, because let's face it no2 mostly uses cast offs )
Anyway, good luck with the pregnancy, and there are lots of good things about small gaps.
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