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Feeling miserable...

(17 Posts)
yellowflowers Wed 21-Oct-09 11:20:15

Hello,

Can I just have a little moan about feeling miserable re ttc?

No reason for being miserable today rather than any other days. Though I have pcos and am overweight my consultant has found my blood levels and scan indicate ovulation, DH sperm levels okay(ish) and I'm waiting for HSG then clomid in new year, so ball is rolling.

Also I've started to lose weight and have lost a stone in past two months so all on right track.

BUT I have been TTC for two years, am bored of having lots of sex at key times (and other times just in case), all my friends have babies and are starting to have second ones and I am in a huge grump today. in fact I feel FUCKING MISERABLE.

Please someone cheer me up.

x

passionberry Wed 21-Oct-09 11:44:32

I don't know if I can say anything to cheer you up but I know how how horrible it is when your friends and colleagues get onto second babies while you're getting nowhere.

It took me 18 months to get pregnant and the last 8 months were grim. I felt like I was turning into a grumpy, bitter old cow and once I hid in the toilets to hide from a pregnant colleague!

All I can say is hang in there, I have no idea why it happened for me when it did - except of course it was the month where I didn't bother keeping track of my cycle, went to a festival and got pissed instead!

Also, I lost 2 stone in the previous 6 months so that may have helped.

yellowflowers Wed 21-Oct-09 15:38:24

thanks passionberry. I just think if it hasn't happened naturally in 2 years for us then it surely won;t so therefore maybe I should give up and just wait until we get to iui/ivf stage?

Littlemissmischief Wed 21-Oct-09 15:58:40

Hey yellowflowers, im pretty sure we were on a thread together a while back if my memory serves me correctly?

I also feel exactly the same as you at the moment hun, I have just had my 1st round of Clomid after 2 years of ttc and finding out I dont ovulate, was sure I was pg then came on yesterday so have another month of horrendous side affects, time-tabled sex, symptom spotting and knicker checking ahead of me now!!

I have no magic answers but really wish I did for all us suffering ladies however can offer {{{{{hugs}}}}. Hope you feel beeter soon x x

yellowflowers Wed 21-Oct-09 16:22:35

Hi littlemissmischief, great to see you though wish you weren't still here, if you know what I mean? So sorry this month didn't work out. Isn't it shit. Today I want to scream and cry and punch someone. How is clomid? I am due to start it in Jan.

xx

louisesh Wed 21-Oct-09 18:52:10

Hi

I too feel like you all at times.....I too ttc for nearly 2 years now with just 1 MMC and 1Mc to show.....

Like you ladies sometimes ok and sometimes bored and sick of it all!!! All our tests nad not really a problem with falling pg, particularly as we are both 38 but maintaining a pregnancy is a whole different matter!!!!

Sometimes feels like "groundhog "day.I too are loosing weight, having accupuncture, back at work fit and well.My life was just back on track when i got my latest BFP ion Aug then 5 weeks later back in hospital for EPRC.....sad

Its all soo annoying and tedious at times.....grh....MOAN...MOAN.....!!!!!

Sorry i can t cheer you up just wanted to add some solidarty [is that how you spell it???] hmm

flintski Wed 21-Oct-09 20:31:27

Hi Yellowflowers - have been on threads with you too at various points over the last 2 years and its pants that we are both still here (although I know i am uber lucky as I have a dd) - just wanted to send some positive vibes your way and hope that you are one of those lucky people who get lucky just as the treatment is due to kick in. Good luck

yellowflowers Thu 22-Oct-09 12:02:04

Hi Flintski - so sorry you are still here too. And hi Lousisesh - thank you for respnding to my plea for cheering up. It just seems so unfair. I know it;s like finding a man too - I was the last of my mates to couple up and if I had known it would happen eventually then I maybe would have relaxed about it. Now I have the man and I feel the same about kids.

Also I know this is bad to admit but I am so jealous of my friends' perfect families. I know we can't predict the future - for all I know their kids will become drug addicts, their marriages will split up etc (I obv hope none of this happens to any of them) - but right now it seems like they have everythign I want and I don't - waaaaaaiiil!

louisesh Thu 22-Oct-09 12:21:43

2nd all you said yellowflowers its crap.People at work say "it ll happen" how do they know?????? Its PANTS!!!! Oh well back to looking at holidays instead something to keep me going!!!!!

Chins up girls or something equally silly!!!!! smile

louisesh Thu 22-Oct-09 12:24:08

2nd all you said yellowflowers its crap.People at work say "it ll happen" how do they know?????? Its PANTS!!!! Oh well back to looking at holidays instead something to keep me going!!!!!

Chins up girls or something equally silly!!!!! smile

MyMyFruityPie Thu 22-Oct-09 13:22:15

Hey yellowflowers. I felt like that about a week or so ago when I got AF. I was particularly hysterical with the crying, felt like smashing everything up (obviously didn't, just did the boo-hooing but a bit more so than usual). My periods have been all over the place this past year but they seem to be regulating themselves which is good if I do have to have AF, at least it comes on time but that whole "trying to see the upside" of things ran its course last week and I was fed up being happy for everyone (a couple of my close friends are pregnant). For a couple of days I just felt very selfish and did not want to see my pregnant friends (I felt bad feeling like that but I just wanted to lock myself up indoors and sulk). After that I was fine but I think that we need to have a couple of days where we just self indulge as we spend most of our time keeping that smile up for everyone and ourselves. Also hearing about pregnancy complaints does not help. It is not like we go banding about our windows of opportunity, the stretchiness or lack thereof our CM etc., etc.

Anyway, I have just had an HSG. Tip - try and have a good healthy breakfast a few hours beforehand. I had coffee and I do not think that helped as it gave me the shakes, that coupled with a silly croissant for breakfast was not really enough. Take the old ibuprofen beforehand too. It is over in no time but it will help.

sigh Sometimes it feels quite tiring doesn't it?

Chin up yellowfowers. We are right there beside you. big hugs

yellowflowers Thu 22-Oct-09 13:28:12

Thanks fruitypie. Good advice re HSG too - thank you. Not got a date for it yet but should be soon.

It's good to know it's not just me. I so hope in five years time I look back and think 'silly me, it all worked out okay in the end'. Is it bad to even hope maybe I will have a 4 year old, a one year old and be planning a third? Ah, can but fantasise.

DuelingFANGo Thu 22-Oct-09 13:34:51

I can completely sympathise with everything you are going through. 2 years CHECK people about to announce second pregnancies CHECK fed up with the timed sex CHECK. sad

it sucks doesn't it.

I have been on clomid for 4 months now and am due to see consultant in November when I'll be asking about IUI.

I wonder sometimes if it's best to go straight for IUI rather than doing the whole clomid thing when you know you are ovulating. Feel like I have wasted the last 6 months tbh.

yellowflowers Thu 22-Oct-09 19:05:57

That's ineresting duelingfango - I was wondering that as I know I ovulate. My consultant says clomid will give me'better ovulation' which I don't really understand. I will have hsg because I hear that sometimes leads to conception straight afterwards and also maybe there is some kind of blockage they will find, but I wonder whether I can go for iui and bypass clomid? Presumably they must think clomid might work to try me on it?

flintski Thu 22-Oct-09 20:09:16

I really hope that comes true for you yellow (and anyone equally fantasising!)

DuelingFANGo Fri 23-Oct-09 08:57:53

Yellow, I was given a choice... try clomid and then go for IUI or go straight for IUI. Unfortunately I would have to pay for IUI so I thought I would give the clomid a try for free first. Am wondering if it was the wrong decision because I am now 6 months older.

FWIW I had an HSG in March 2009 and then started Clomid, I got pregnant! Sadly I miscarried but will never know if it was the Clomid, the HSG or just a general relaxing because I thought things were moving on for me.

I think you can go straight for IUI but they may make you pay for it. If you are already ovulating the Clomid may help but it's not really going to help more than IUI in my opinion.

Littlemissmischief Fri 23-Oct-09 10:52:22

Hey Yellowflowers - i know what you mean, i wish you werent here too but good to hear from you x

The Clomid is ok, I had some side affects last month but know many people who have no side affects and this month I have been taking it at night which seems to be working.

I found out I was not ovulating at all and on my CD21 test before Clomid I had a level of 1 (it has to be 30 or over to ovulate and the higher the better) but I had one last month after the comid and I ovulated at 43! So definately does the trick!! smile

I hope that whichever road you take you end up with the perfect family you are craving.

Lots and lots of babydust for all of those who need it ************************************************************************************************** *********************************

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