Hi Harebelle I was in a similar position - DS & DD now 12 & 13, and new DH and i discovered last summer after just over a year of ttc that he had an extremely low sperm count, and most of those were abnormal / going the wrong way etc. The only way we were ever going to conceive was through ICSI, which we had last autumn, and i now have 12 week old twin boys here trying to distract me from the pc! I was 38 when we had treatment. They told us that it they only need enough sperm for the eggs they harvest, so in our case they just needed to find 13 decent sperm.
I hope that offers you some encouragement - please feel free to ask me whatever you want!
I also have no direct experience of the antibodies but my DH also has a low sperm count so ICSI was the only way forward for us. I'm now 19 weeks pregnant after our first round and I had no issues myself. As Lottie says, ICSI is now routinely used when there is any issue with sperm or any issue with fertilisation identified in previous IVF.