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TTC#2 Why oh why does it seem so much harder!

(29 Posts)
Loujalou Wed 30-Sep-09 20:33:43

Argh DS was conceived in cycle 3 and the first 2 cycles we were not really focussed on job in hand (as such).

I know 5 cycles TTC is not that much but feels like forever. Its really getting me down as all I want at the moment is to be pregnant. Am still focussing on DS but seem fixated on having another one.

My friend who conceived first time last time and didn't conceive on her first month this time has already started looking at secondary infertility on the internet so know I am not the only one going crazy.

lovechoc Wed 30-Sep-09 21:19:36

am in the same boat as you. conceived easily and had DS. Second time round seems to be alot harder.

there was a thread several weeks ago about this very thing, it has slipped way down near the bottom by now, but there are loads of us out there from the responses on it.

hope you fall soon.

dcb Wed 30-Sep-09 23:21:16

Started trying last October for no 2 - had MC in May (extended over 2 mths as had retained products and had to have another ERPC). I know it's not that long/bad compared to others but fed up now. How old is your ds?

ElusiveMoose Thu 01-Oct-09 08:11:40

Yes, me too. DS was conceived first cycle after coming off the Pill. I very stupidly left TTC2 until the 'ideal' time, not thinking that it might take longer than a couple of months. It's only been 5 months so far, but I'm now realising how silly that decision was. Also, I've now discovered that I've got a very short luteal phase (7-8 days), which means that conception could be tricky (no idea if I was just very lucky first time round, or if my LP has got shorter). And my doctor made it pretty clear that people who already have a child are way down the priority list (which is fair enough, I guess), so I'd probably have to wait ages for a referral.

Hey ho, I'm trying to keep optimistic. AF due in two days' time, and we BD'd perfectly this month, according to FertilityFriend, so you never know grin.

Littlemissmischief Thu 01-Oct-09 08:45:13

Hey Elusivemoose - I know exactly how you feel! After being told it would be difficult for me to coniceve due to endometriosis and possible PCOS, I fell pg with my DS the 1st month me and DP were together without even trying! After thats just assumed they were wrong and waited until the perfect month to try again the same as you......2 years on we are still not pg! It seems Ive had 1 'normal' cycle in the whole of my life and I concieved DS. So now under the care of a fertility clinic and just started taking Clomid to make me ovulate and have regular 'normal' periods.

I think it is harder the 2nd time because you have the pressure of the age gap and a child telling you they want a baby brother/sister, you feel like you are putting your child 2nd whilst you chase that BFP and when your feeling really down about AF arriving or taking terrible drugs like Clomid, you cant just hide under the duvet and cry, you have to carry on with a smile on your face! Not to mention the constant questions form people ; when are you having another one then' ARRRGGGGHHHH grin

Anyway Ive rambled on far too long, just dont give up hope, it will happen for you you just need to relax (easier said than done I know) and just think it can take a g
few months for people who have no fertility problems to get pg. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that AF doesnt arrive - keep us updated

Good luck and Babydust ******************

Antiquarian Thu 01-Oct-09 09:25:56

I'm with you, I got pregnant first time with DD. I tried to tell myself that it would be harder the second time round but I admit it, deep down I felt like it would happen quickly. I put off trying until the right time too, once I'd started a new job, really wish I hadn't now. I'm only on the third month, got preg second cycle but miscarried. Not preg this month and feeling really really sad about it. If anything, I am more desperate this time for a baby than I was the first, and I also try to focus on my beautiful DD but I still, desperately want another. Good luck everyone.

Loujalou Thu 01-Oct-09 09:52:10

Sounds very familiar. I thought it would be easy again and it hasn't been at all. I know its normal but it doesn't help.

Doesn't help that my DH struggles to have sex without condoms as its really uncomfortable for him so am limited in positions we can use. He has now got some steroid cream so fingers crossed. We have been using lots of lube but now found out there is only certain ones you should use.

This whole thing is driving me crazy! Why is it not easy. Seems everyone else is getting pregnant too and keeps asking.

Loujalou Thu 01-Oct-09 09:54:14

DS is 18 months by the way. How old are your little ones?

KEAWYED Thu 01-Oct-09 09:59:46

I caught straight away with DS1 and like you assumed DS2 would be the same.

He took 7 months of trying and in the grand scheme of things it wasnt that long but at the time it felt an eternity.

I got pregnant a 3rd time straight away but MC then pregnant with DS3 straight away it just seems to be that 2nd child.

Antiquarian Thu 01-Oct-09 10:10:19

My DD is 19 months, and of course I'm hung up on having not too great a gap. And I'm 36! And I'm desperate to have three! Greedy, me?!

KEAWYED Thu 01-Oct-09 10:33:10

I've said before on another thread that I've got broodier after each one and I'm wanting no.4.

My age gaps are getting smaller

Littlemissmischief Thu 01-Oct-09 10:56:51

My DS is almost 3 and the gap is growing sad x

Loujalou Thu 01-Oct-09 11:16:15

My granddad asked me when DS was going to have a brother or sister and when I said we will see. He said I was in control (I Wish).

Doesn't help I am a control freak.

KEAWYED Thu 01-Oct-09 11:31:15

I remember people asking me when I was having my 2nd In the end I said i'm having no more just to shut them up because its upsetting enough getting your period every month without that on top.

anniemac Thu 01-Oct-09 11:45:42

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anniemac Thu 01-Oct-09 11:50:03

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Loujalou Thu 01-Oct-09 12:14:17

Been going to the gym and trying to be more active. Thanks for advice Anniemac. It will happen when it happens. Still doesn't stop me stressing!

Antiquarian Thu 01-Oct-09 12:27:18

I worried it might be because I'm too thin, but when I mentioned that to the Doctor he looked at my BMI (19 according to him, 18 on my calculations) and raised his eyes to the heavens as if to say "save me from these neurotic women." I walked out of his surgery feeling both fatter and smaller than I have in ages!

anniemac Thu 01-Oct-09 12:31:25

Message withdrawn

Antiquarian Thu 01-Oct-09 12:46:06

Thanks anniemac and forgot to say congratulations!

lovechoc Thu 01-Oct-09 18:45:20

congrats anniemac - there's hope for the rest of us then!

DS is 2.6yrs so for me, I'd like to be falling pg pretty soon. There is going to be quite a big age gap no matter what already

Loujalou Sat 03-Oct-09 10:29:51

We are going to try and do the do every other day this month to ensure that something happens. Whether that will happen (well dtd every other night or getting pregnant) I am not convinced but we are going to put up a good fight!

Bensmum76 Sat 03-Oct-09 11:51:23

Hi all. Seems I am in the same position as some of you. Conceived first time with DS but now have been trying three months and just had a negative test although period two weeks late (I think). Period seems to be all the over the place though so not really sure whats going on. Very upsetting and like all of you ,am trying to focus on my beautiful DS, but did not want too bug an age gap and started trying now based on having a two and a half year gap. Oh well, back to the drawing board as they say!

Zoomum Sat 03-Oct-09 16:42:51

TOTALLY RELATE EVERYONE.....I have been trying to conceive for over 12 months, (though I tell myself that as I was still BFing DS1 till December last year that really I've only had a chance to conceive for about 10 months IYKWIM). DS1 is now 2 yrs and 3 mths, all my peer are falling pregnant and I'm starting to feel that I won't...although this is a bit irrational.

I have had fertility investigations as a result of being referred by GP, had blood tests, ultrasounds, an x ray of my fallopian tubes and uterus and my DP has been tested...ALL IS NORMAL!!!! Normal hormones, normal tubes, normal ovulation, normal cycle, normal periods...I have been peeing on ovulation sticks, taking temperature etc etc....I feel so frustrated about it, but also resigned in a funny way. I am starting to feel that maybe I have to accept that i will have only DS1, who of course I love so much, but as an only child myself I was so adamant that he wouldn't also be an 'only'.
However, I have been seeing a fertility acupucnturist. If nothing else it is very relaxing. She told me that it takes on average 2 years for couples to conceive so I am well within normal range. Also am so encouraged by reading that Anniemac took 2 years to conceive #2, it gives me hope and makes me think maybe it will happen for me also. I don't care really about age gaps to be honest either. Everyone has said that when i realx and let go, and almost give up then it will happen...but it's difficult not to hope every month...GOOD LUCK everyone

KEAWYED Sat 03-Oct-09 18:55:58

Like I sais before DS2 took 7 months after DS1 taking straight away.

In the end we went on holiday to Spain and had 'it' every day.

We put DS1 in front of the T.V. watching Lazy town and cracked on.

It worked but not the most romantic tale ever

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