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Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

(1001 Posts)
Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 11:30:11

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 11:32:54

Well, I'm pleased with the place. These new french doors are better than Cosmo's! wink

Let's try for at least ONE updiffment this thread, BESHes. And hopefully more. NO SLACKING! <cracks fertility whip>

RunLyraRun Wed 16-Sep-09 11:37:04

You went off like a shot there Scorps, just the kind of service I'm used to with The Sporty One. But there are 17 msgs left on the old thread, and I hate waste, what to do? Might go and talk shit to myself for a bit.

I'm putting Dirty Dancing on the telly, to commemorate Patrick's departure. Taking the batteries out of the clock though!

Going to do some work now. Honest

Cosmosis Wed 16-Sep-09 11:46:31

Pah, these doors are in no way comparable to mine, how very dare you.

please please please can we watch Lost Boys after Dirty Dancing??

I'm glad the new cages are more secure because I couldn't help but notice that the romantics escaped again from the last palace.

Ponymum Wed 16-Sep-09 11:49:48

But where are the drinks??? Oh, there. Whew.
<row of enormous cognac glasses appears as if from nowhere>

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 11:52:19

Erm...they didn't escape blush <stands to reveal Romantics in locked trunk under bottom>

Does someone else want a go now? - I'm getting a bit sore grin

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 11:57:18

I don't want to, but just for you VAG... <unlocks trunk> Come on then boys, who's first? No, stop crying, you're only making it worse for yourselves! grin

PS 17 msgs left on the old one? How do you tell? I'm so dense. And sorry for premature action. Hopefully I won't be on the receiving end of that tonight, hurhur. wink Yep, SWIing starts tonight. Whether he likes it or not.

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 12:59:25

I've installed David Mitchell behind the bar to bring us cocktails and witty banter, by the way.

Hendricks and tonics all round please, David! Light on the tonic, there's a love.

Ponymum Wed 16-Sep-09 13:07:39

And Charlie Brooker is sitting at a table in the corner, glowering and muttering witty obscenities. (Pardon me, I feel a little hot at the thought.)

RunLyraRun Wed 16-Sep-09 13:33:01

And Ben Goldacre is giving us a lecture this afternoon on how all science reporting in the media is cack, so we don't have to listen to all the Daily Heil/BOD nonsense.

Just finished reading Bad Science, by the way. Loved it, love Ben. He's debating against Lord in-the-pocket-of-pharma-Drayson tonight, would go if I lived in London - here

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 13:36:45

Mmm, Charlie Brooker...

skihorse Wed 16-Sep-09 13:38:53

<hangs sign on door reading "Strictly NO Metal Dogs!">

Phew, glad that's settled.

CurlyCasper Wed 16-Sep-09 13:42:34

oooh just laahhhve the new place beshies!

Just going to put up a few fairy lights in Frustration Corner for those of us at the end of our cycles but with neither a period nor a positive pregnancy test.

That bloody droid is still lost in the Tattooine desert...

Speaking of which, does anyone know how to unfreeze this delightful lump of carbon that is Harrison Ford in his Han Solo days? I'd like some inter-galactic action and boy, does that former bounty hunter turn me on blush Can I keep him here please? I promise to polish his cage (I'll give him a rub too, if ye don't mind) grin

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 13:59:00

Ski - 'no metal dogs'? Are you thinking of K9? R2D2 wasn't a dog... was he? Or am I missing some old joke here? hmm

I think we just need a generic banning of novelty robots - R2D2, Metal Mickey, etc.

Do you think we need a boxing ring for doling out the hysteria punishments or a pervy cellar torture chamber? <reveals true Scorpio nature>
Both? The chamber could double up as a 'play area' for our captives... okay, seems like I'm gearing up for Ov, then... wink

PS I've got Colin Firth in a sack here, dressed as Mr Darcy. How long can we keep his shirt wet before he starts to get seriously ill? grin

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 14:01:13

PS Casper - don't think I can't see you holding that hairdryer over his groin wink

skihorse Wed 16-Sep-09 14:09:53

Wasn't a dog? Please, excuse me. Whilst I am geeky - I have never watched a Star Wars film - I believe those to be the origin of R2D2? <runs off and plays with My Little Pony>

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:18:16

Truthsayer Wikipedia refers to R2D2 only as a droid. K9 however is very specifically described as a fictional dog robot.

Wikipedia doesn't lie. And everything on the interweb is the truth.

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:22:40

CF could perhaps change out of those wet clothes into something more comfortable? <wiggles eyebrowns suggestively>

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:23:18

eyebrowns? clearly have come over all a quiver....

skihorse Wed 16-Sep-09 14:24:17

The worst thing about all this 2WOOFLing stuff is that you have wait a full 3-4 weeks from OV to your next potential try. There should be some sort of test 2DPO - if it's a babyfail than you can straight to the next OV, do not pass go, do not collect your baybee.

Hello VAG, how's your cervix?

skihorse Wed 16-Sep-09 14:27:14

VAG, that's Cosmosis showing off her new back doors to everyone.

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:33:59

Well it's very kind of you to ask after my cervix, ski, however cervix and I have still not been introduced. If you see it around the place, perhaps you could do the honours?

I'm feeling flakey today. Wonder if David can whip up a mean expresso martini to calm my nerves....

Scorpette Wed 16-Sep-09 14:34:12

Showing her big opening all over the internet. Disgraceful <pulls handbag up to chin>

VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:37:31


VeryAngryGusset Wed 16-Sep-09 14:38:04

Shrivelled raisin, anyone?

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