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Getting pregnant by my Gay Best Friend - advice wanted on home insemination!

(39 Posts)
BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 19:19:23

I am 34, single and joining forces with my gay best friend to have a baby. We fully intend to co-parent, and are committed to sharing the financial and emotional responsibilites.

While there are lots of internet resources about anonymous donor insemination, I can't find anything about this situation. I would be really grateful to anyone who has done this to get in touch, and tell me your experiences and any tips.

Thanks!!

choufleur Tue 15-Sep-09 19:20:31

Really?

HeadFairy Tue 15-Sep-09 19:20:47

Are you Madonna?

tryingtobemarypoppins Tue 15-Sep-09 19:28:21

Can't you just do the deed??grin

mumtoted Tue 15-Sep-09 19:29:23

Turkey baster?

thisisyesterday Tue 15-Sep-09 19:31:59

well i would imagine you just get him to ejaculate into something (a non-spermicidal condom, a little pot etc), and then get it into you by whatever means you desire.

i think it needs to be fairly fresh, so i guess i would prob get him to do his part at my house, and then inseminate myself immediately

QueenOfFuckingEverything Tue 15-Sep-09 19:35:16

There is loads of information on the internet about how to go about this.

Maybe be a little more specific about what you need to know, because it sounds like you just want general material for an article tbh.

BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 19:36:12

thanks yesterday! that's what we had envisaged in the first instance, though we are not sure how many months to try at home before going for IUI...

kayjayel Tue 15-Sep-09 19:40:02

there are lots of old posts on mumsnet about methods if you do a search on insemination in the conception topic. Plus loads of info on lesbian sites (gingerbeer?)

catinthehat2 Tue 15-Sep-09 19:44:23

No honestly QFE, I found this poster entirely convincing.

I know the "Thanks!!" smacks of an unpaid researcher straight out of one of the better universities.

But I think you have to cut people some slack occasionally so...

.... Boho, what would you like to know? I almost never talk bollocks about anything, so fire away...

thisisyesterday Tue 15-Sep-09 19:46:33

and make sure you're doing it at the right time i guess?

so i suppose i would kind of track my cycle to make sure i knew wheni was ovulating to give it the biggest chance of success.
but i don't know much about that side of things personally

catinthehat2 Tue 15-Sep-09 19:47:13

<disappointed, stops rubbing hands, goes to get tea>

TeamEdward Tue 15-Sep-09 19:50:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcrylicAfternoons Tue 15-Sep-09 19:53:56

work out when you are most fertile and then get him to wank into a cup and then insert using turkey baster. But assuming you know this bit already what else do you need to know?
Is it the legal aspect?

morningpaper Tue 15-Sep-09 19:56:02

read this then you will know pretty much everything

TeamEdward Tue 15-Sep-09 19:57:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Tue 15-Sep-09 19:58:15

Ooooh Acrylic Afternooons, love your name. Are you partial to a bit of Jarvis then?

BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 20:01:14

well, i did go to uni, but i'm not a researcher/journalist, and i'm definitely not madonna...

this is a geniune post and we would be genuinely grateful for anyone who has any wisdom to share.

we have both gone for checks, and my fertility is a little under the "normal" for my age, he has great sperm count but lower motility. we are both really conscious that given our relationship, getting pregnant is more of a chore than the normal way ;-) so we want maximise the chances of it being effective.

BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 20:02:47

morning paper - thank you very much xx

HeadFairy Tue 15-Sep-09 20:12:17

Did the docs give you any indications as to how your fertility is not as it should be?

BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 21:03:28

ummm - my ovaries showed a slighlty reduced volume with a few antral follicles, and my FSH levels were slightly raised.

LH and oestroidal levels were normal.

not exactly plain english, is it?!?

HeadFairy Tue 15-Sep-09 21:24:46

And did they offer any treatment for you?

The reason I ask, if you are trying for a baby the traditional way, and you are struggling, at least the process isn't the worst thing in the world, although granted it can become a bit of a chore.

I would have thought some way of raising your fertility would help, I can imagine the turkey baster trick is not something you want to have to do for months on end.

catinthehat2 Tue 15-Sep-09 21:26:04

Joking apart, I think the mechanics of conception are the easy bit.

"We fully intend to co-parent, and are committed to sharing the financial and emotional responsibilites."

This ^ is the bit that's going to be hard.

So are you going to live together? Or not?
How do other boyfriends/girlfriends fit into this in the future? How contractual is this relationship? Who changes the nappies? Who sits through homework and music practice? Who pays for all this?

catinthehat2 Tue 15-Sep-09 21:33:07

I mean, I don't understand why you think there is a difference between anonymous donor insemination and "known" donor insemination. Why is that the big deal? As you can see, five seconds on Google and there's a ton of stuff. Home insemination - yeah, so what?

But raising a child in these circs, surely that is the realsource of questions? Unless you just want lots of attention for a really exciting and prurient thread title and have no intention of going through with it.

BohoMofo Tue 15-Sep-09 21:41:53

cat2 - i totally understand what you're saying re the bigger questions.

re insemination, the difference is that anon donors have their sperm frozen. this makes a difference to how long it can survive and be used for, whereas normal sperm is relatively fragile and tho it can survive in the woman for a couple of days, it doesn't survive outside for more than an hour or so. that is what thisisyesterday was saying.

no prurience from me, and most of the attention is from you!

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