Need some encouragement

[Ionia]

Hello, I am totally new to this site.I found it by chance and thought I would give it a go.
I just wanted to see if other ladies have had similar situations. I have been off the pill since last July but no luck yet on the pregnancy front. I know age is against me (36) and I am getting increasingly down because of it. My husband doesn't agree with fertility kits/monitors as he says it will happen if it wants to. Any advice?

[MINNIE1]

hi ionia,

I have been trying since last July and i am currently 9 weeks pregnant. I had a miscarraige last june. This last year has been hard and feeling very disapointed each time my period arrived. I am sure you feel cheated each time it does.
The monitors and kits are only there to help, I used a persona but never got the hang of using it. The ovulation test would be a good way of starting i think. Your DH does'nt need to know your using them. They would increase your chances.
Are you bding alot (intercourse)?
how long is your cycle?

[Ionia]

Hi Minnie1.
Am grateful for your message. Was surprised to get one so quick! My cycle seems to be about every 26 days. We BD about twice a week (sometimes once a week). During the week when we both work we seem to be too tired to BD half the time.

[Ionia]

Sorry Minnie1.
Pressed the send button by accident before finishing. Wanted to say sorry aobout your miscarraige last year but big congratulations on your pregnancy. Am pleased for you.

[Listmaker]

What does BD stand for??

[Iklboo]

Baby Dancing (doing rudies!)

[MINNIE1]

fertility friend
I really found this helpfull, it tells you all about ovulation. You would generally ovulate half way through a cycle, You case you would OV on cycle day 13-14. so you should be bding before, in between and after them dates.. Hope this is'nt confusing you..
Have a look at the fertility friend..
Hope it helps.

[Ionia]

I had to look up BD too. The Acronym list is handy in the 'Useful Stuff' section.

[Ionia]

Thanks Minnie. Will have a look at the link and let you know.

[Listmaker]

Thanks! Been on here a while but don't normally look at the conceiving bits as I have my 2 dds and don't want anymore.

Good luck with your pregnancy Minnie and hope it works out for you ionia. I think getting some help wouldn't hurt though - waiting for things to happen naturally is all very well but when you're not in your twenties with years of fertility ahead of you anything that might help has to be worth it I reckon.

Can't you seek medical help when you've been trying a year? Or is it two? Could always lie about it anyway - I would!!

[Ionia]

Tried the fertility friend website but its not letting in any new registrations at the mo. Says to try in a few days so I will try again (probably tomorrow - hee hee).Hi Listmaker -May look into docs help too. Think it has to be 2 years before they'll help but hey, how would they know? I'm not getting any younger.

[Azure]

I know getting scientific about conceiving can feel like it's not the natural event it's meant to be, but I would recommend using some form of ovulation predictor kit (OPK) to focus on when your most fertile time is each month. Your DH doesn't have to know, but all OPKs do is tell you when you are ovulating, so you know to BD at the right time. There are surprisingly few days a month when you can conceive, and BDing once or twice a week may not be hitting those times. I think the average time to conceive is something like a year; however, I know how depressing and frustrating it can be.

[LottieG]

Hi Ionia, I thought that you could ask your doctor after six months of trying if you were over 35.

You could always go and say you'd just like a physical check up as you're trying to conceive and see what the GP says.

There is a book called Taking Charge of your Fertility which teaches you to use cervical position and mucus to see when you are most fertile - would avoid you having to use anything technical and hubby wouldn't have to know
It's by Toni Weschler

[Ionia]

Thanks Azure. Will begin the 'scientific' way even if DH doesn't. You and Minnie are right, a little science to encourage nature along won't hurt. Currently 5th day after my start of my AF so think I will leap on DH tonight.

[Ionia]

Thanks Lottie

[munz]

Ionia u can always come over to the TTC thread www.wewantaspringbabynow.com, it's v v supportive, and everyone's lovely. lots of women on there in their 30's

[Ionia]

Thanks for the invite Munz. Tried to log on but website not cooperating at the moment. will try later.
Will also stay here with new friends on m/n.

[MandM]

Ionia

Just so you're not confused - www.wewantaspringbabynow.com isn't a website - it's another (v long!)thread in the Conception section of Mumsnet.

[Ionia]

Thanks for that. Did wonder.

[Ionia]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who answered my call for help.
Its not until you see or take part in one of these sites that you realise there are many more ladies in a similar situation (or worse). My best hopes and wishes go to everyone. I will let you know how I get on.

[munz]

oh sorry should've made that clearer still u found us in the end!

[AtHomeMum]

Would recommend ovulation predictor "clear Blue" Had similar probs - after about 18mnths we went to see specialist & had various tests - all OK. Before more complex test GYNo recommended this kit & said to do BD 6-8 times in the following 48 hours. Following these instructions worked for us the second month we tried & DP was very enthusiastic . Used this for all 3 of my DDs. I was 32 when I had the eldest.
Would recommend you try this & if you don't succeed go & see GP. If there are problems the sooner you get help the better as these things can take a while.
Good luck & have fun

[Ionia]

Thanks AtHomeMum. Much appreciated.Will increase the BDing (sure DH will be happy) no matter how tired we are..Will also look at the OPK's in more detail now after hearing they have helped so many. Will keep you posted.

[AtHomeMum]

Rereading my post...

the BD 6 - 8 times in 48 hours was when the kit said "now is the time" & not all the time!!

Good luck

[ChaCha]

Hi,
I agree with Lottie, the book she mentioned is fab! I would also make a visit to GP or obstetrician just to put your mind at rest. I TTC (tried to conceive) for a while when we first wed and after a year of no luck was referred to my obstetrician. Have suffered from endometriosis and an ovarian cyst and have had two laparoscopies to rectify them.
Stopped TTC and just resigned myself to the fact that i'd probably be childless! Weeks later to my total surprise got a BFP and here I am 14 weeks pregnant
Wish you the best of luck but also advise that you see your GP/obs.

[Ionia]

Thanks girls. I have made an appointment with the Gyno next week and will have a talk with her then.