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problems with sex when ttc

(5 Posts)
corona Wed 26-Aug-09 11:11:50

Have namechanged for this.

DH and I are late thirties and have been ttc for a year now - recently he has been having probs with going soft. We have a dd already, we're knackered and are trying to target sex to fit ovulation dates.

I know, that we should just chill out and have as much sex as possible, but it happened again this month and now he is going away for a couple of days. I feel really gutted and frustrated as it's the third month it has happened, but obviously would never say that to him, as I don't want to hurt him.

Has anyone else had this problem? What should we do?

ClaireDeLoon Wed 26-Aug-09 11:19:08

Message withdrawn

corona Wed 26-Aug-09 11:23:45

Thanks Claire, I thought it must be a common-ish problem. We got pg with dd in the first month of trying so I had no idea that it could take so long, but I guess that's the difference between being 35 and 38

LeviStubbsTears Sat 29-Aug-09 08:31:09

Sorry you're in this situation - it sucks. I just ruined the beginning of a holiday by insisting on sex on the morning we were leaving, and DH not being able to perform because of my 'removing all the fun out of it', cue much misery on both sides. Feel so guilty and scared at what I'm doing to our relationship. No more expressly TTC sex for a while for us, I think. It's very tough.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 29-Aug-09 16:58:43


One of my "tips" for ttc is to not go down the route of timed intercourse. It is a big mistake to do this (as you have seen) and it does more harm than good within a relationship.

You need to take the pressure off both of you and make love when you both feel like it, not when you think its ovulation time. It is all too easy to get that particular date wrong.

You need to remember as well that ovulation is not an exact science and it can occur earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle.

You cannot target sex to fit ov dates; it does not work like that at all!!!. Please stop torturing yourself in such a manner!!.

BTW if you have been ttc for a year now without success a visit by both of you to the GP would be in order. Both of you can have some simple investigative tests done.

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