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Miscarried twins in late pregnancy after IVF: now looking for IVF egg sharer

(11 Posts)
xSusie Sat 15-Aug-09 08:53:42

Hello All,
I recently miscarried twins late in pregnancy. It was very traumatic. One died at 10 weeks and with the other suddenly at 15 weeks his heart just stopped. Just like that, there was nothing wrong that anyone could see. This was after ten rounds of IVF.

My only hope therefore is to use donor eggs. People very rarely donate eggs altruistically in the UK as you are not allowed to pay someone for doing that. So I'm looking for someone to egg share.

This is where someone who needs IVF but can't afford it donates half their eggs to the recipient (me) who is paying for both of us to have treatment.

Are you having IVF, or know someone that is? I am looking for an egg sharer happy to go through at the Lister Fertility Clinic in central London. They are one of the country's most successful fertility centres. To egg share you have to be between 18 and 35.

Please let me know if you are interested.

BlueBumedFly Sat 15-Aug-09 22:27:02

Bless you, you sound amazingly strong. Are you saying someone cannot donate an egg altruistically? Is it illegal ? What does it entail? Surely it does not affect the doner other than a little discomfort?

hester Sat 15-Aug-09 22:45:08

I'm far too old to help you out, Susie, but I am so sorry you have been through this and I really hope you find your donor.

xSusie Sun 16-Aug-09 09:25:43

Hi (Susie here who started the thread)
To the lady that asked if people can donate altruistically. Yes they can and they do - but in this country only very rarely. If you were to walk into an IVF clinic and say you wanted to be an altruistic donor you would have to have lots of screening test, then they would write to your GP to ensure there was no history of anything, then you start the IVF routine: first of all medication that 'shut down' your system so you go into menopause just temporarily (this allows the ovaries to rest), then ten days of hormone jabs in order to stimulate the ovaries to produce lots of eggs (blood tests and scans during this time). Then you have to have the eggs extracted. This is usually (though not always) done in an operating theatre under a light general anesthetic.

So while people can of course be altruistic donors (AND IF YOU KNOW ONE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME!!!) but it's a lot to ask someone to go through as it does disrupt their life for a few weeks. In Europe you can give them money to compensate for extra childcare, time off work etc. Here you can only give travel expenses. That's why I am not searching for an altruistic donor (although I'd of course love to have one) but an 'egg sharer'. So this is someone who needs IVF but perhaps has done a cycle or two and now can't afford to do more. The egg recipient (me) then pays for the egg sharer to go through treatment and we share the eggs. This is popular in the UK. But still there are thousands of women seeking an egg sharer and clinics have waiting lists of several years in many cases, unless you can find your own egg sharer.

Perhaps my next move will be to advertise on the side of a London bus......?!! Susie

Bless you, you sound amazingly strong. Are you saying someone cannot donate an egg altruistically? Is it illegal ? What does it entail? Surely it does not affect the doner other than a little discomfort

londonlottie Sun 16-Aug-09 10:03:41

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland Sun 16-Aug-09 10:28:40

'Surely it does not affect the doner other than a little discomfort?'

It is a very invasive process. There is also the potential for Overian Hyperstimulation Syndrome which can be very, very serious and even fatal.

Furthermore, donors in the UK no longer have the right to remain anonymous.

Therefore, the rate of donation has dropped considerably.

xSusie, am bumping this so perhaps someone else who can help sees this.

You sound very strong.

Best of luck to you!

Caitni Sun 16-Aug-09 11:52:10

Hi Susie

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. I wish I had seen this a few months ago, as I'd have done it. But I'm already pregnant after IVF.

To anyone considering responding to this, I just want to say that I had my treatment at the Lister and they are excellent. I'm pregnant after just one cycle (we had male factor issues). I cannot recommend them highly enough. Everyone we dealt with - from receptionists to nurses to sonographers to consultants to embryologists - were professional but also kind. The Lister also treats women of all ages and all FSH levels, and still gets excellent results (one of the top clinics in the country).

You can check the pregnancy calculator on the Lister website to see their success rates for under 35s - see here

Susie, good luck. I really hope you find an egg sharer and that you achieve your dream of motherhood.

Caitni xx

MoreCrackThanHarlem Sun 16-Aug-09 16:08:26

Bumping for you, Susie.
Lots of luck.

floatyjosmum Sun 16-Aug-09 16:22:51

hi susie,

i was wondering if you could email me as i cant message you on here.
my email is carterah at aol dot com


BlueBumedFly Sun 16-Aug-09 16:40:26

Good gracious I had no idea. However, once I have decided my family is done I promise I will give it total consideration. Good luck with your search, I think the side of a bus is a great idea!!! Very sex in the city!

xSusie Sun 16-Aug-09 18:31:59

To Londonlottie - you say someone used a clinic in Ireland for donor eggs - was that Sims in Dublin do you know.

I've heard of them but this is what they do - sperm gets frozen in Dublin, then it goes to the Ukraine to meet the eggs of a donor, then the embryos are frozen and brought back to Dublin and finally I go out for have the embryos implanted. We are trying to give this serious consideration, but it sounds scary which is why I am so determined to find someone who lives in the Uk and wants to egg share/donate in Chelsea.

Embryos created in 'SW1' somehow seems more natural than those that are made in the Ukraine and clock up air miles even before they are born....Susie

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