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TTC whilst extended bfing... Advice please...

(55 Posts)
Elliemama Thu 13-Aug-09 14:07:10

I am struggling to conceive and think that maybe its because I am still breastfeeding DS - 20 months. Thing is he is not a big eater and relies heavily on milk.... I was hoping to follow his queues with food and just let him take his time. He does eat 3 meals a day plus snacks but he's very fussy and still wants lots of milk.
Anyone else had this prob? Shall I just accept that for now TTC is not an option and just give DS the time he seems to need to increase his food intake when he's ready?
We are proponents of attachment parenting so it is very important to me to allow DS to develop at his own rate and respond to his needs as he expresses them. He is a very happy, bright, physical child. He is also very independent when out and about but very clingy at home.

oneopinionatedmother Thu 20-Aug-09 13:43:35

although getting a kid to take non-boob milk can be hard (for my DD,, it involved a fair amount of wrestling and crying over spilt milk!) it could be key to conceiving again.

it might be oversimplifying to say this - your son will get a whole lot out of a sibling in the course of his life, so there is compensation for him if he hates being weaned. You might not have to stop BF completely - just limit it to morning and evening maybe? I found those the ncest feeds anyway...and kids change so quickly at 20mo - before you know it you'll have a small child instead of a large baby (or so i found) that clinginess could evaporate (or not) regardless of what you do feeding wise...

i didn't conceive until i'd started giving other drinks (had given food ages before).

Shooflypie Fri 21-Aug-09 14:41:16

I am wondering about this too. DS is 16mo and has two big BFs night and morning and a few nips duing the day. I'd prefer him to self wean but he is showing no signs at all of wanting to stop.
We were on a bus the other day and he managed to yank open my top and shout DINNER! which was slightly blush
I am in a bit of a quandry as I'm 41 so have to get a move on. And my GP did say that BF is not a contrac thoeptive but does suppress your fertility

Off to look up Kellymom - their advice is normally v good I've found.

Meanbeansmum Sat 22-Aug-09 00:09:36

I tried to conceive when bfing ds 2. It just didn't happen, I did have 1mc. As soon as I gave up bfing (when he was 2 years) I was pg within 2 months.

I am now bfing that baby, she is now 18 months, we are ttc and yet again it's not happening. I think I'm just one of these women who has a lot of bf hormones in my system which prevent me from conceiving. I'm not ready to quit yet and neither is my little girl. She has 2 evening feeds, a morning feed and sometimes a day feed, really not much but still I can't catch.

We are having fun trying though lol. I will probably wean her in the new year and hope for a spring bfp, if I don't get 'lucky' in the meanwhile. Good luck hunni.xxxx

Shooflypie Sun 23-Aug-09 23:44:14

MBM, how did you do that? Weaning, I mean? DS (16 mo as I said) now seems more avid than ever. I don't like the idea of having a huge battle over it...

justbeenforapromenade Mon 24-Aug-09 22:38:37

I conceived when bfeeding dd at 28 weeks.

justbeenforapromenade Mon 24-Aug-09 22:41:31

I mean 28 months, sadly the pregnancy didn't work out, but I was rather surprised to get pregnant at all as I have had problems.

hellymelly Mon 24-Aug-09 22:46:06

Well I got pregnant at the first try (literally,we did it once that month,due to the baby in the bed)And I was feeding a lot,and I was 42 so I don't think it dented my fertility much.My periods had only come back a few months before,they took around a year each time.

MamaMaiasaura Mon 24-Aug-09 22:51:03

Elliemama - I am still bfing ds2 = 20 months he also wants milk whenever he feels the urge, also has main one in morning, nap and bedtime. He is still in bedroom with me and dp been ttc since Jan, did have some fertility treatment which has now stopped till ds2 weaned. Have PCOS and rarely have periods.

We have decided to follow ds2's lead in the weaning as it is a need he has and there is no guarantee that by weaning him I would fall pregnant.

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 09:49:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 12:35:59

thesecondcoming, why would you tell your dc that because of bfing they didnt have another sibling or one close in age? The priority for me is my current dc, yes would love another and we are ttc, but i am not putting ttc above the needs of my current dc. I think you perhaps need to review how you look at it rather than suggesting we have our priorities wrong.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 12:38:34

Ellie - can i recommend the book MOthering your nursing toddler by Norma Bumgarner. Very very good reading and full of useful tips. Even talks about children who have weaned restarting on arrival of a sibling. Also made me feel a whole lot more relaxed about the decision i have made to follow ds2's lead. Kind of put perspective on it.

LadyStealthPolarBear Tue 25-Aug-09 12:39:17

How long have you been ttc? Are you having periods?
I was ttc from DS being about 14 or 15 months, but didn't actually have a period until he was 18months and I think he had cut down a bit by then.
Ebay do very cheap ovulation sticks which might be useful to find out when you're most fertile.

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 13:57:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 21:45:42

Thesecondcoming. As someone who actually has fertility issues and is under a consultant and has discussed this in great depth with dp and the consultant with unanimous support I have to say I find you post offensive and downright ignorant. I would not ever say to any child of mind that because of feeding them i didnt have another child. I am feeding ds2 because he asks for it, how on earth is that wrong? Oh and I am 35 so fully aware of decreasing fertility but as much as we would love another child, we have are following ds2's lead on weaning and he is a very happy little boy. I dont think he is missing out and even if I dont ever fall pregnant again there are other options if we really feel that strongly.

And no I dont think my child would 'love someone to play with more than breatmilk' and it is an uttrerly ridicuous thing to say as what child has ever said, 'Oh mummy, I would so much prefer a playmate than having been breastfedd' You sound a complete fool.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 21:46:51

That or trip trap trip trap.. hmm

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 22:01:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumpybecky Tue 25-Aug-09 22:05:38

I started ttc #4 when dd3 was 17 months old and feeding. I finally got pregnant 9 months later when dd3 was 26 months old, 4 months after I stopped feeding.

I know 9 months to conceive isn't that long, but for my first 3 children I'd got pregnant on month 1 or 2 of trying, so for me it was a long time. I had been having periods since dd3 was about 9 months old and I was ovulating as I was using the cheapy sticks.

The dilemma over whether or not to stop feeding to try and help ttc didn't really happen though. It didn't occur to me until I got pg that the bfing might be slowing things down - durr!

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 22:09:44

First off I was respondiong to the OP on this thread, and am not the OP so get your facts straight. Second you behave yourself, wind your neck in and deal with your obvious issues. Thirdly the treatment i was receiving was clomid, which i took to conceive ds2 so hardly costly. THe reason for stopping it is that I cannot currently take the metformin which is a drug which helps the receptiveness of clomid and aids in the side effects of PCOS. It is also a diabetic medication adn therefore could have health implications for ds2. So as the clomid did not work independtly of metformin we are waiting till ds2 is weaned till I take it. Was a decision not taken lightly but with alot of thought and consideration. So please wind your neck in as this is something that really has no bearing on your POV. How you think you can comment in the way you have is clearly because you have some real issues you need to deal with. Be a love, go deal with them and dont inflict them on others.

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 22:09:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 22:14:10

OH and for what its worth my blood tests show that my breastfeeding isnt having a particulary negative impact on my fertility (the PCOS does that) and the prolacton levels arent that high and womb lining thickens up so am producing oestrogen. Not that i expect you do understand any of that. It is the drug going through milk which is the main concern. And the fact my consultant actaully said we should continue the feeding and when he does stop will commence the drug treatment again.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 22:14:57

If it is feck all to do with you why dont you toddle off then?

thesecondcoming Tue 25-Aug-09 22:16:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pannacotta Tue 25-Aug-09 22:21:23

Gosh you are VERY judgemental thesecondcoming and rather rude too...

I think I read that cutting out night feeds can often have an impact, does your DS still feed during the night OP?

I got pregnant with DS2 when DS1 was 18 months and still feeding at least twice a day but then I have always been overly fertile rather than the other way round so that is probably not much help, sorry.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 25-Aug-09 22:22:53

20 months is great and any longer fine. If he wants to feed till he is older i will. Am not going to wind my neck in. See you are not a troll as done search and frankly you do have issues, or are rather judgemental of other peoples choices. Oh and where is the bleating. This thread was started by elliesmama. be polite, go away as I cannot see how your comments on here are helping. Now if you would like a discussion on extended feeding and the rights and wrongs of it, and whether a person should continue feeding or stop to ttc then please start this on another thread.

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