Phantom pregnancy??

[indiegrrl]

I think I'm going crazy...couple of months into TTC I skipped AF late July (after 5 mnths off pill, back to regular periods). Got v.v. faint +ve home test result the next day. I'm mid-30s and DP's in 40s so we were both shocked, and actually more negative than we'd thought we wld be, and we decided to have counselling before making a decision. So went off to local NHS clinic, had scan and urine test - came back -ve. Relieved, we decided to stop TTC for a couple of months and really talk things through, I went back on the wine.
Ten days later tho, still no AF, re-tested yesterday: stronger +ve. GP did urine test this morning: +ve, now 6 weeks pregnant I'm thinking. Told to hot-foot back to clinic, so lunchtime today I have a urine test there (+ve), then another scan. Nothing appearing on the scan. Scan lady checked for ectopic - nothing. 'There's something tiny that cld be a sac, but too small for 6 wks' she said. Upshot is I've now had blood test and am to call clinic tomorrow for result. Am really worried. Asked nurse over and over what this cld mean, and she kept talking about 'hormones', and mentioned 'phantom pregnancy'. Going on hols next wk - will that be a problem I asked her. No, it shld all be resolved by then she says.
I'm jreally confused. Have I thought myself into a pregnancy I'm ambivalent about? Shld I be worried about the 'something' on the scan? Wld really appreciate knowing if anyone else has had any similar experience.

[beanieb]

It could be that you have a missed miscarriage. I read a post here earlier which had someone saying their pregnancy was re-absorbed into the body but am not sure what that would be.

I had a similar experience recently when a scan showed a sac but no heartbeat and some internal bleeding. I had second scan a week later and they could see very little and I had to have a medically managed miscarriage.

If they have seen 'something' then I would suggest that you ask for hormone tests to be done so they can check if the pregnancy hormones are falling, which would suggest a miscarriage. I personally think you should have this checked out before you go on holiday.

So sorry you are going through this.

[polkadotty]

I'm confused - why were you TTC if there was even the remote chance you would be negative about succeeding? (you say 'and actually MORE negative than we thought we'd be...' implying you thought you might be negative about it from the outset?????)

It sounds like you've had a rollercoaster few weeks and I appreciate your head's a bit messed up, but I can't quite understand why you'd be TTC when by the sounds of it - you weren't quite sure!

If this was an accidental (possible) pregnancy I'd totally understand you posting here but I'm not sure people will be that sympathetic when there are so many people on here desperately TTC for a very much wanted baby.

[IDreamOfJeannie]

I think you're being a bit mean there polkadot.

Loads of people plan a pregnancy - but when they actually get a positive pregnancy test they are confused and maybe a bit negative about it. Planning a pregnancy is all a bit hypothetical but when you get pregnant....well it's actually real, and you realise that this is it, nothing will ever be the same again. It can still be quite a shock, and your feelings can confuse you.

Hope you get to the bottom of it indiegrrl, it sounds very stressful.

[polkadotty]

Jeannie, I totally understand that and appreciate that - but OP implied that they had been expecting to feel negative!

That's what I don't understand.

Plus, though it is understandable to have shock etc, I don't know many that then consider terminating...

[indiegrrl]

Who the hell are you to tell me how to feel?! Whywaste time contributing on behalf of 'other people' when you've nothing to contribute?

You're right, tho - I'd hate to inadvertently upset pple as you clearly make it your business to do. Wld I have posted if I was anything other than frantically worried - assuming we've better things to do than sit online all day?
If you - or anyone else - knows how to remove this thread pls do.
A mate advised me to post - against my better judgement, as I figured there'd be plenty Ms Perfects on here, judging my semantics as well as my sentiments.

As one pregnancy in every 5 ends in abortion, those represent only 80% of those who seek post-conception counselling, and about 30% of those abortions are from planned pregnancies, we can assume you aren't the exhaustive authority on this subject polkadot. But FFS, I'm posting about the fact I appear not to be pg.

Thanks beanieb your experience is really helpful to know about and its generous of you to share that.

[mears]

Indiegrrl - phantom pregnancy would not give positive pregnancy test.

There are various options.

You are pregnanct but not as far on as you thought.

Too early to rule out ectopic - sac could be what is known as a pseudosac which can be associated with ectopic. Sitaution needs monitored with bloods and repeat scan.

You are pregnant but it has not developed properly (used to be called blighted ovum). That is waht happened to me with my third pregnancy. Repeat scan a week later confirmed pregnancy was not ongoing and I had a D&C.

It may or may not be resolved by you holiday. See what they say tomorrow.

[polkadotty]

indiegrrl, if you re-read my messages I never told you how to feel, and warned you that people might not be very sympathetic in this area of mumsnet (this is predominantly people trying to conceive, rather than people already pregnant).

I'm not being mean, I even acknowledged that you must be very messed up.

I'm sorry that you're worried sick, it's understandable but whether you're pregnant or not, something a counsellor would explore with you will probably be - why you were TTC.

I'm not judging anyone for having an abortion.

I hope everything works out for you.

[lou031205]

indiegirrl, I imagine they want to see what level your hormones are at to see if they are about right for your apparent gestation. If your levels are more like 4 weeks, for example, they may do another test in 48 hours to see if they are doubling.

I hope it is all cleared up for you one way or the other, so that you can deal with whatever the outcome is. How would you feel if it turns out that you are pregnant now? Have you been able to clarify what you actually want?

[ImmaterialGirl]

indiegrrl, just to second mears, a phantom pregnancy is one in which the woman is psychologically convinced she is pregnant, to the extent she physically displays some symptoms despite -ive test. You can 'think yourself' into some things, but not hormonal change, which is what gave the +ive result.

So something is going on, and I hope you find out and get it sorted soon.
I'm sorry you're feeling stressed -wishing you all the best and hope it works out for you.

[Passdevino]

Indiegrrl really feel for you, going through something a bit similar myself right now. Do you think you could have a blighted ovum? Not so sure what that is but a friend of mine had it (causes very early miscarriage). I've just had a similar experience to yrs (positive tests over last few weeks, GP convinced I'm preggers, hospital appt suggests differently) difference is I've got 2 kids and both pgs were fine, so at least this probably isn't genetic or something that will stop you conceiving in future if you should decide to. My scan was also today, I am 5 weeks, nothing showed up, the nurses took blood but I am not really sure why.

As I am going through this myself I know that it really does not matter if you are TTC (we weren't) or not, a mother already or not - this is a horrible situation of uncertainty and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I know polkadot wasn't saying it is, but I also know how upsetting this is and how easy it is to feel guilty about what's happening to you - because I'm feeling the same right now.

[indiegrrl]

Just an update: blood test found pregnancy hormone levels slightly raised so another test tomorrow to see if pregnancy is still actually going on. As the scan yesterday found nothing, I suspect this was a v. early miscarriage that I only picked up because I was TTC so doing pg tests.
A huge thankyou to those of you who suggested this possibility and distinguished between early miscarriage and phantom pregnancy. I had felt very guilty and immature about my initial ambivalence to this pregnancy, and when the nurse told me this was probably a 'phantom pregnancy' I felt that my craziness was confirmed. Maybe I'm being unfair and she didn't mean to suggest that my mind was producing pg hormones, I guess when you have expert knowledge it is hard to remember that your patients don't necessarily know exactly what you mean, and I think she didn't want to use the term 'miscarriage', understandably, because clearly that is a really traumatic event which is distinctly different from what I'm experiencing. But it really, really helped to know that I wasn't crazily producing all my symptoms, so thank you. I don't know what happens now, but conception boards aren't the place to discuss it, so I'll shove off, but just wanted to update those of you who were concerned enough to make helpful posts.

[muddleduck]

Hi indiegrrl
I read your thread yesterday and am pleased that you seem to be getting your head round what is happening. I hope you get it all resolved quickly.
FWIW I have no idea why you got that hostile reply yesterday. Completely out of order IMO. This was an appropriate place for you to post and I was that someone gave you such as hard time when you were asking for help and support.

Good luck