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so fed up of ttc :(

(17 Posts)
okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 21:44:45

just need a rant, life's shit wish i had never told anyone we were ttc, wish i didn't get asked about it all the time, wish 'infertile' wasn't the tag that i know people attach to me and dh. i am almost at the stage of not caring anymore about ttc tbh, never thought i'd be so fed up of it hating life, hating work, hating ttc, hating everything. it's turned me into such a negative person and i hate that too

CarGirl Wed 29-Jul-09 21:47:20

sad

babyboom1979 Wed 29-Jul-09 21:52:04

Okiwi......I know how you feel. It's just so unbelievably difficult. And people really don't understand and oftentimes say the absolute wrong things like "you just have to relax"! If only it were that easy....

Have you begun to do any investigations?

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 21:54:16

god yeah, we've done just about everything going but still no reason

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 21:54:47

sorry you're feeling it too

ButterflEi Wed 29-Jul-09 21:55:36

sad

how long have you been TTC for?? have you been for tests?? im so sorry you are feeling so fed upsad
FWIW i often feel the same way... fed up with yet another cycle gone (22 cycles 3MC waiting to find the fate of this most recent cycle) job not ideal (poorly paid boring etc) the only light in my life is my DH and DD (she is 3) and i am so grateful for them.

i hope you start feeling better soon

xx ei xx

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 22:00:06

been ttc for 3+ yrs, had all the tests but no answers. agree only light is dh. the job thing is a double blow as i feel i ought to be on mat leave/be a full time mum rather than be stuck in a crappy job but don't know what i'd do instead as all i want to do is be a mum and i can't choose that as a career

fishie Wed 29-Jul-09 22:03:37

yes it is totally shit and life absorbing.

how old are you okiwi, have you got that pressure too?

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 22:07:30

am 32 so not too old in ttc terms thankfully. so sad that there are so many people feeling the same way, though it's nice to know i'm not alone

babyboom1979 Wed 29-Jul-09 22:10:01

So sorry to hear that Okiwi........has IVF been suggested? Or perhaps you have already gone down that route? I just always wonder what propells a couple to finally bite the bullet and try it.

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 22:17:57

ivf's the next stage, we had one go (through the nhs) but now we've got to get £4000 together for another go, but that's just another thing that's not going our way - no spare cash despite me working hard at a job i hate. also i feel so negative about ever getting pg that i don't think i'm mentally ready for ivf at the moment

okiwi Wed 29-Jul-09 22:20:26

thanks for talking to me, i don't feel so alone now. couldn't talk to anyone in RL even though they all know we're ttc. i don't want to say these words out loud for fear of breaking down. in fact i'm not sure i could actually voice these feelings at all in RL

ButterflEi Wed 29-Jul-09 22:41:53

i think it is a good thing to talk about your feelings whether it is in RL or on here. MN has been a godsend for me with all that has happened in the past two yearssmile i myself post on a thread on conception called the WIMBEWAI(N)F clubsmile which has been of particular support for me as all of the girls there have had or are having trouble concieving and a few are going through the IVF wringer at the mo. i would never profess to know exactly how you are feeling but i for one am here to chat if you feel the need to rant/vent/cry about things or for some 'take your mind off things' inane chat aswellsmile
xx ei xx

babyboom1979 Wed 29-Jul-09 22:54:59

You are certainly not alone in having very low and negative moments in your journey. I really really hope that you manage to do another round. One thing that I have read consistently is that IVF seems to be a good option for couples with unexplained infertility -- especially if you consider it as a 3x procedure. For some reason, it takes most couples more than one go. I know that sounds crazy and it is so expensive but it worked on the third try for a close family friend after six years of trying. She was told she would never have kids due to severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I don't know how she did got through it all but she never lost hope. She is 38 and expecting twins.

I send you a big hug.....this feeling will pass and you will move on to believing it can and will happen eventually.

okiwi Thu 30-Jul-09 11:58:41

Thanks for the support ladies, I still feel really fed up but at least I've got people to talk to now. What is the WIMBEWAI(N)F club?

ButterflEi Thu 30-Jul-09 14:31:55

here they are a lovely gang of girls who have been the biggest support to me smile
i cant remember exactly what WIMBEWAI(N)F means it is something along the lines of Where Is My Baby something something... its been going for over a year now with that name so it is lost in translation a bitsmile pop over for a cuppasmile
xx ei xx

ClaireDeLoon Thu 30-Jul-09 14:41:26

I'm very sorr you're so fed up and it is taking so long okiwi.

Ei gives good advice when she says join a thread where people know what you're going through, it really helps, I think anyway. Good luck.

I totally get the resenting work thing because you should be on mat leave too, I feel like that so often.

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