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Anyone out there who's recently MCd and back to TTC without waiting?

(183 Posts)
helpet Thu 23-Jul-09 22:44:18

Hey everyone. I have a DS (18 months) and had first MC last week at only 5 and a half weeks. Have wondered whether to wait for AF but after obsessively reading most threads on the subject in MN - have decided to take the plunge and TTC just as soon as I can ... Anyone in a similar boat wanting to join this thread and spread the baby-dust? xxxx PS Am terrified it won't happen for months / it will happen and I'll be a compulsive knicker-checker

BestLaidPlans Fri 24-Jul-09 13:23:11

Hello, sorry to hear about your MC. I MCd last month at 11 weeks and would like to join you if that's ok? We started TTC again more or less straight away (like you after lots of obsessive MN reading!) but AF returned a couple of weeks ago. Completely sympathise with the "It's never going to happen and even if it does I'll be a neurotic mess" thing by the way. Hopefully others joining the thread can provide a calming influence!

helpet Fri 24-Jul-09 13:33:26

BestLaidPlans - I'm so sorry - 11 weeks - that must be so tough. THANKS for joining me - and fingers crossed for us. Sad for you not to have a BFP but at least the return of AF let's you know things inside should be back to normal. I'm having accupuncture for the first time on Monday to 're-balance' my insides (or something like that) - I must be really obsessed as I have a major needle-phobia!!! x

MorrisZapp Fri 24-Jul-09 13:37:06

My best friend recently had mmc followed by d&c.

She was told to wait until after her period before ttc again but got a bit confused and is almost certain she is pg again already!!

She says she hasn't had a proper period at all.

Still testing negative but many other signs of pg. I guess it can happen v quickly after mc.

Scorps Fri 24-Jul-09 13:38:24

Sorry to hear of your mc, i miscarried at 5.3 weeks on Feb 9th this year, with my 4th pg. We started ttc straight away, and i fell pregnant 6 week later, im now 18 weeks and baby is healthy and fine. (this is my fourth baby, 5th pg).

Concentrate on folic acid, eating well, exercise. It will happen; god i was terrified, but you can request an early scan, i did and had one at 8 weeks.

Good luck

BestLaidPlans Fri 24-Jul-09 14:03:57

Heard lots of similar stories about a fertility boost post MC, so fingers crossed.

Helpet, you are right, AF didn't make me feel as bad as I exected precisely because it seemed to be a sign that things were getting back normal. Physically MC wasn't too bad, emotionally a bit rough, not made better by coming back to find my trainee making model foetuses with my year 7 science class! I had timed coming back so that I missed the birth video but she'd decided to change my plans and didn't want to bother me at home asking if it was ok. Very kind of her, but my goodness that was the longest two hours of my life! Can kind of laugh about it now...

Hope the acupuncture goes well, I remember reading positive things about it from others on these boards.

monkeysmaketheworldgoround Fri 24-Jul-09 15:07:12

hello ladies. also just had MC at five weeks. on monday doctor told me to wait at least one cycle for uterus lining to thicken up again but not sure whether to just go for it. never wanted ttc to become an issue but think now this has happened i'll find it very hard just to relax and be cool about it! already have one dd who's nearly 2 so having her helps.

Scorps Fri 24-Jul-09 15:10:26

monkeys - they like you to wait for dates purposes really, but your dating scan will confirm that anyway.

monkeysmaketheworldgoround Fri 24-Jul-09 15:21:00

thanks scorps. must admit it sounded a bit strange to me. think we'll probably just go for it anyway and then spend the next few weeks stressing! feeling more down about it today than when it was all happening but i know these times will come and go! i'm glad your bump's doing well!!

skihorse Fri 24-Jul-09 16:43:21

I had a very early mc (4,5) last month too and my doctor told me there was no reason to wait.

thefatladyscreams Fri 24-Jul-09 17:04:38

Another one in the same boat and would love to join the thread. I had a mmc last week at 10 weeks.

The EPAU said there was no problem with trying to conceive straight away - the nurse said it purely comes down to when you both feel ready.

I think the thing about waiting for a period is to help dating. I looked at the Miscarriage Association website and that confirms that there is no link beween another m/c and conceiving straight away.

I had acupuncture last night (great minds ....) and found it really helpful. Apparently it can help realign the body after m/c and I felt more relaxed/less unhappy this morning. It was fine (I don't have a major problem with needles though) - but any questions please shout. The only weird bit was when I went to scratch my nose and noticed these two needles sticking in my hand!

thefatladyscreams Fri 24-Jul-09 17:07:08

helpet - hope that last bit doesn't put you off grin

helpet Fri 24-Jul-09 21:41:47

MorrisZapp hope it's good news for your friend.

Congratulations Scorps! Thanks for sharing your positive experience with us - it really helps.

Monkeys and skihorse I'm really sorry to hear about your losses but glad you've joined this thread.

The EPAU told me to wait for my AF first too but I agree with Scorps - it's mainly for dating purposes (and I read on MN that they like to avoid extra dating scans to save costs ...). I have read so much about the increased fertility window after MC, and true or not I intend to believe it and hope like mad it works!

Bestlaidplans I guess all you can do is laugh at the unfortunately redesigned lesson plan, although really really not what you need right now!

Thanks for making me laugh thefatladyscreams - I misread your message at first and thought that they had put needles up your nose ... was relieved when I reread!

helpet Fri 24-Jul-09 21:46:46

Sorry thefatladyscreams I also wanted to say I'm so very sorry for your loss too but glad you've joined us here. I wa too distracted by nervously laughing at your needle-tales!blush

Cith Fri 24-Jul-09 23:28:47

Hello ladies,

It is good reading this thread and realising there are so many others also agonising about the TTC thing after MC! Firstly I am so sorry that you have all also experienced the loss from a MC. It is awful.
Am also in the same boat...had a MMC at 12 weeks and miscarried naturally while waiting for the D&C appointment
Decided not to 'wait' for AF before TTC, but try to just take each day as comes and start BD again when we both felt ready without focusing too much on it. Have had reflexology to try and 'sort out the hormones' too - it has been great and left me feeling v calm (although was teary after first one!). Anyway - what I thought was AF arrived about 2 weeks ago but was very light/stop-start, and odd, so did HPT to check during and got a BFP...which startled me to be honest and wondered if was true or if still had pregnancy hormones from the MC. So have been carrying TTC just in case and am now not sure if should test again to see if BFP is still there (or hormones gone back to normal), or just to do the 2WW and see then! Arghhh! All this thinking about it is confusing and I can now see why they tell you to wait a period to be sure. Am feeling v well and not any preg symptoms, but fingers crossed will happen soon for all of us!

glinda Fri 24-Jul-09 23:36:13

Hi all,
Just wanted to share a positive experience. I miscarried at about 8 weeks and then conceived my gorgeous ds very soon after. According to dr.s my ds was conceived before the mc!!!
DS starts high school in September - is wonderful, healthy and an absolute joy!!!!

thefatladyscreams Sun 26-Jul-09 22:31:46

helpet - glad to make you laugh! Ouchh the idea of needles in my nose.... mind you she did put one in the top of my head and I did have a slight mental pause at that one!

Hi to everyone else. Cith - what a difficult situation. Fingers crossed for you. How are your nerves holding up?

glinda - lovely to hear about a happy outcome. Here's hoping for us all.

oneopinionatedmother Sun 26-Jul-09 22:38:28

i went straight back in as t'were

it does make you feel like you're doing something constructive, though otoh you feel like your life is all about one thing.

i think if you're worried you won't conceive again, best get down to it straight away.

BestLaidPlans Mon 27-Jul-09 07:22:23

Cith - Fingers crossed it's a new BFP, I think the uncertainty is one of the worst things about all of this. The EPU got me to test two weeks after bleeding stopped to check I was getting negative tests and while it felt very weird to be hoping for a BFN, it helps to know the next BFP (if there is one!) will be for real. I think it depends a lot on how far along you were as to how long it takes HCG to get back to normal. Maybe test again in a week and make an appointment with GP to do bloods? Really hoping it's good news.

Helpet - hope the acupuncture goes/went well.

There seem to have been babies and pregnant women in huge numbers everywhere I've been this weekend, so after feeling a bit fed up (and feeling very guilty for all the jealous thoughts!), it's been really cheering to read all of these positive experiences, so thanks.

monkeysmaketheworldgoround Mon 27-Jul-09 17:47:18

agree it's nice to hear positive stories and keeping everything crossed for you Cith.

have had a good weekend at my mum and dad's but back to reality now. going back to work tomorrow which i was looking forward to but now not so sure. there are two aspects of my job, one office based and one working directly with public for the whole day and that's what i'll be doing tomorrow. not ideal because don't really feel like being cheery and entusiastic while still mentally in turmoil. on the other hand maybe not having the choice will be good for me!

i'm hoping that tomorrow night will be our first attempt at ttc again. i know i'm not ovulating yet but think psychologically it'lll be a good thing to do. i'm sure dh won't complain!!

Cheepz Mon 27-Jul-09 20:35:02

hello - joing you too - currently bleeding from mc which started yesterday and was confirmed this morning - was 5+3 so very early but such a shock and was way more upsetting than I imagined

have ds who is 2 and dh and i are trying for numberr 2 - not planning to wait - once bleeding stops will be monitoring signs and then letting nature take its course with some BDing before next AF

(waves to TFLS from other MC thread - hullo there)

Nice to hear the positive stories - thanks for making the effort and looking forward to the journey with you ladies

Cheepz Tue 28-Jul-09 10:24:31

where did evryone go?? <cheepz spots tumbleweed roll by> was it something I said wink

feeling abit better today - well t least emotionally less of a basket case and able to have sensible conversations at work without lurking behind PC pretending to be on the phone

hope everyone else having a good day

helpet Tue 28-Jul-09 13:52:16

Hi everyone especially Cith and Cheepz! We're all here - somewhere! Welcome aboard our - I nearly said Post MCTTC Ninky Nonk - I have watched way too much toddler TV. Apologies.

Cith - so sorry for your loss. I really really feel for those of you who have lost later on. It terrifies me as, like Cheepz, I was really quite shocked and upset so early on. You're brave brave ladies.

I had acupuncture last night and was amazed how relaxing it is to have someone stick pins in you (esp with my phobia). I did find the ones in my head a bit spooky - especially the one that really hurt and when I mentioned that to the therapist, she said 'enjoy the sensation'. Also - no one ever told me that they pull on your ears really vigorously - or did I get a rogue therapist?!!

On a less positive note - all the acupuncture in the world is not going to work if DH and I can't shift the emotional tension out of the bedroom - there's no BDing going on with that around. Anyone else finding that a problem?

thefatladyscreams Tue 28-Jul-09 15:27:05

Hi everyone

bestlaid - I just got a BFN yesterday and yes it's bizarre to be pleased to see it!

cith - how are you doing. Hope you're not driving youself mad sympton spotting?

monkeys - hope going back to work wasn't too bad. I find it's a funny mixture of needing a distraction but not having the emotional energy to deal with RL full on.

cheepz - waves back! Lovely to see you here. Guess we're not the patient sort!

helpet - so pleased the accupuncture helped and well done for braving your phobia. Mine left my ears alone but did turn the needles - my strongest reaction was in my feet which was apparently to do with my stress levels! Sorry to hear that things are tense with DH but I think that can be quite common afterwards. Maybe he's scared of you getting hurt again? I was very laid back TTC before - my DH has expressed a concern that I don't get overlocked into it this time and stress myself out.

I know I'm impatient but in the last few dates I've purchased gratefruit juice, know your Fertility book, Clearblue Fertility monitor and testing sticks, pregnancy tests and baby aspirin. OK - I admit I've lost the plot - feel free to laugh! wink

Here's wishing sanity to you all!

RubyLove1 Tue 28-Jul-09 15:39:57

Hi guys, just wanted to say I had an MC at 7 wks in May and didnt wait for AF and am now pg again smile.

As much as I didnt believe it, it can happen and it is so scary but I am just trying to relax and be happy about it.

Have had alot of morning sickness this time which I've been told is a good sign as I didnt have any the first time around so as crap as I feel I am grateful that I've been given another chance.

I thought that the Dr's were gonna have a go at me for not waiting for my period but everyone has been really nice so far, only thing is now I dont know how far along I am so Doc said he's said he's gonna arrange for me to have an early scan.

This will be my first baby and given the miscarriage I am still finding it hard to imagine myself carrying a baby but hopefuly it will seem more real when I see the midwife on Thurs.

Anyways just wanna say dont give up girls, hope you are all in the same boat as me very soon...RL1 Xx

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