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Why am I convinced that I will never conceive DC2 for no apparent reason? This is strange ....

(27 Posts)
SupremoSurpriso Tue 21-Jul-09 15:55:34

Did anyone else here feel like this? I conceived DS1 first time round. He's now 18 months. We've been trying just a few months now for DC2 and ... nothing. And the strange thing is I've convinced myself that it's just not going to happen. I feel really strange about it, like I was so lucky to have one and it would be too much to hope for another. Did anyone else feel like this or am I just being a nutter?

OnlyWantsOne Tue 21-Jul-09 16:00:50

I feel like you - completely understand x

sunburntats Tue 21-Jul-09 16:03:09

me too.
completely understand as well.
its like a gut feeling that it just isnt going to happen for us and that we should not really even have ds (who is 6)
he was a fluke or something!

been trying for dc2 for years.

bringonthetrumpets Tue 21-Jul-09 16:03:17

I feel like you too Supremo.

We've been trying for 5 months and I've only gotten one normal cycle with a period in 5 months. It's been getting me down tremendously and I keep having thoughts that I'll go into the doc where they'll just say I'm infertile for some reason and can't have any more children

It's hard not to think of it these days.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Tue 21-Jul-09 16:04:28

I feel like this. Have been trying for dc2 since dd was 3 months. Sometimes I think god is punishing me for being greedy.

bringonthetrumpets Tue 21-Jul-09 16:07:13

Do you think it's our intuition or are we just exposed to too many horror stories?

shonaspurtle Tue 21-Jul-09 16:07:58

I feel like this, but I felt the same way with ds. I think it's just my usual pessimistic psyche.

Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-09 16:08:11

After almost 5y of TTC for #2 I have kind of reconciled to myself it won't ever happen. DD, now 7y, took well over a year to concieve and I am convinced she was a one off, one in a million chance.

Have had Clomid, been treated successfully for Asherman's Syndrome (adhesions on uterus following c section) but nothing. Not even a hint of success; not even a day or two late in any month since TTC started!

I don't really know how I feel about it; a bit numb I guess.

bringonthetrumpets Tue 21-Jul-09 16:11:16

Oh my gosh hula I'm so sorry to hear. I feel wimpy having only gone 5 months without result.

SoWant2BePregnant Tue 21-Jul-09 16:22:00

Hi Im New To This Just Joined Today My Friend Told Me About It As I Have Been Going Through Alot Recentley. Just To Inform You Of It I Had A Misscarige In Febuary & 15 Weeks I Know Thats Quite Early But It Still Really Hurt Me. You See I Was Due This Month (Thursday The 23rd To Be Exact) 2 Days Away. Anyways I Know This Proberaly Sounds So Stupid But When I Miscarried They Gave The Depo Jag & That Finished At The Begning Of May & I Havent Been For Another One Since And Dont Tend To. Well To Get To The Point I Only Had 1 Period In The Middle Of May & Havent Had One Since I Guess Im Asking If I Can Be Pregnant ? I Really Want To Be But Im Scared To Test I Know I Sound Stupid But Any Reply Would Be Helpfull, Thanks x

Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-09 16:25:09

bringonthetrumpets - it's fine. TBH I think about it far less nowdays than I did after 5 months f TTC. I think it is in those earlier months when TTC feels most all emcompassing.

SoWant2BePregnant - ot is possible yes. Only way to know for sure is to test though.

BTW SoWant2BePregnant - if you type without using a cpaital letter at the start of each work it makes your message much easier to read. As it is now makes it very hard on the eye and makes people less likely to read.

bringonthetrumpets Tue 21-Jul-09 16:39:04

Thanks hula. I wish I could be one of those people who are very mellow about the whole thing and can just suddenly be surprised that I'm pregnant. Now that we're actually trying and my cycles are just being ridiculous, it seems like it's all I can think of.

Have you thought of doing IUI or IVF?

Oh, and SoWant2BePregnant, welcome to mumsnet! I second Hulababy, though.... my eyes just started glossing over by the second sentence because it's too hard to read. Take a test and start keeping track of your cycles

Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-09 17:16:57

IUI and IVF are not for us, for personal reasons. Just don't want to go down that route, Have probably inflicted enough on my hormone, etc. over last few years as it is anyway.

Hopefully one day it will happen, but we will see. Not usre at what point we call it a day. I am 36y, as is DH tomorrow. DD is 7y. I am not ready to quit completely yet though.

CakeForBreakfast Tue 21-Jul-09 18:26:47

I was exactly the same. Conceived dd almost immediately and let myself believe it would happen again just as fast.

As the months passed, friends all around me were falling pregnant again so easily it seemed and people were commenting to me not to leave too big a gap between babies (not my f*ing choice you cruel bugger, was the reply in my head).

I also got superstitious, tried to bd on exactly the same days of the month that conceived dd, had symptoms every month, heart breaking.

However, 11 months after first trying, I got lucky, no rhyme or reason, nothing done differently, am now 26 weeks and still counting my lucky stars. I hope this makes you feel encouraged, not worse, I just wanted to empathise, those 11 months were very long and hard to forget how horrible, the entire month, every month was given over to planning and analysing, and symptom spotting and disappointment.

Wishing tonnes of that good fertile babydust stuff on this thread!

helpet Tue 21-Jul-09 19:15:50

Hey everyone - I feel this fear too - BUT I do remind myself that I never thought I'd be able to have ANY children - I'd convinced myself all my life somehow (for no reason) - and then when I got married and started to try I set myself up to fail BUT eventually, after 15 months - we did get pregnant and have a DS who's now 18 months old. Isn't it just self-preservation, being careful of expectations etc? Don't believe in hunches without any reason - it only makes us miserable. With uncertainty there is always hope.

Sunnydale Tue 21-Jul-09 19:42:02

Hello all - I feel like this too. Conceived DD1 without even trying. Conceived again 2 years later without even trying, but had a termination for Downs and related heart malformation. Conceived again one year after that, but miscarried at 7 weeks. Am convinced the miscarriage was punishment for the termination, which I rushed into out of panic and pressure from people around me, not that I'm abdicating responsibility for it. All three times, I conceived in June. Don't think I'm capable of conceiving any other month. Can't bear to wait until next June, only to have another MC. Am 39. Don't know whether logic would dictate I give up, but am not giving up. "Keep trying till the menopause", people say. But clearly my egg quality is poor. Feel numb about it all most of the time, but find it hard to see families with more than one DC, and find it hard to reconcile myself to DD being an only.

We all need to stay positive. Although I hate those drs who say "if you worry, you won't get pg". It's really not true. But any tips on staying positive would be great. Also: does anyone else feel so guilty when they even have a drink that they've almost stopped drinking, even though they used to love it, and miss it? Or maybe that's just me blush

expertinscunthorpe Tue 21-Jul-09 19:44:02

I felt like this with DD who took about 6 months.

I think it's just the disappointment of it not happening straightaway.

expertinscunthorpe Tue 21-Jul-09 19:44:23

Sorry, should explain DD is my first and only.

cyanarasamba Tue 21-Jul-09 19:48:06

Yes I feel exactly like this too - a BFP seems like the hardest thing in the world when it's not happening. Been trying 6 months, had MC (my second) at 10 wks in April.

WhatSheSaid Tue 21-Jul-09 19:57:33

Another one here. Been trying for second dc for a year now. Got pg with dc1 after maybe 3 months? In the past couple of months about 8 people I know have got pg with their second and virtually all have said "Happened as soon as we started trying!". I know loads of people with small age gaps between dcs because they got pg so quickly (smallest age gap being 12 months and 1 week). Kind of assumed same would be true for us.

But I am so happy I have dd, never thought I would have kids (no medical reason, just took aaaages to meet dh!) and I know some people don't even have one and are far worse off. Will feel sad if only have one but feel v lucky to have dd. Just always assumed I would have more...

PictureThis Tue 21-Jul-09 20:19:58

We've been trying since january last year for #2. Friends around me seem to be getting pregnant left right and centre and it's becoming harder to feel happy for them without a big dollop of jealousy to go with it much to my shame. blush

Sunnydale Tue 21-Jul-09 21:04:47

We so have to stay on this thread! It's funny - I don't recognize any of your names from the ttc threads I've been on over the years. Yet here we are, all in much the same boat. Good luck to us all.

earplugs Tue 21-Jul-09 21:55:14

Hi ladies, another one here. Conceived DC literally on the very first attempt and just thought that DH and I were super fertile or something. Obviously isn't the case as have been trying for DC 2 for 6 months and nothing. I know 6 months isn't long but can't help feeling gutted. We're the only couple from our group of friends not to have gone on to have another one and am starting to worry we won't. When TTC its hard to think about anything else!

Clure Tue 21-Jul-09 22:16:53

hello, me too. Had DD (now 4 and half) on my first cycle of clomid. Have been trying for about 18 months, 2 rounds of clomid. Am now 41 and blood test show limited egg supply. sunnydale I can really identify with what you say about the age thing.

Katnkittens Tue 21-Jul-09 22:18:40

I feel exactly the same about TTC#4 (I know I am greedy) I never tried for my first 3 they just happened, then I fell again accidently (on the pill but was on antibiotic and v ill also forgot one or two) in december but m/c then fell again the following month and m/c again.. since January nothing... I'm convinced I'm never going to have my much longed for 4th child, my youngest is now 5 1/2 and my eldest is 13, I'm so sad when it crosses my mind I may never have another baby and have to admit I do 'baby' my youngest.

I know it's only been 6 months but it's bloomin awful.

Am even considering going back on the pill and missing a few as that always worked for me in the past!!!

Nice to know I'm not the only one thinking this though, we can't all be right

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