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Cant stop crying

(15 Posts)
indigotall Tue 21-Jul-09 11:13:12

Got my period today. This is so hard I’m ducked down behind my desk trying to hide and I just cant stop crying.
Been trying for #1 baby since September, I’m 36, had a large endometriotic lump removed when I was 30 and am so worried that there is something wrong with me. My partner has been tested and his sperm count is fine. I cant get my doctor to refer me to anyone, I’ve tried 3 times, he keeps sending me away. It’s so stressful.

Can anyone recommended some where private I could go to in London. Or what I should be doing.

I’m sure you’ve all been in the same boat. I spent last Saturday at a Bar-B-Q with three couples two pregnant and one having just had their baby, and all of them have been trying for the same amount of time we have. AND they’re ALL younger. I’ve got to stop hanging out with fertile people.

Mouette Tue 21-Jul-09 11:35:43

Indigotall I'm so sorry. I can recommend you a very good gynaecologist and fertility specialist, he treated me for PCOS and also for polyps in the womb. I conceived twice naturally after the treatment. Like you, I didn't get anywhere on the NHS, but as soon as I went private, things started moving along very quickly. btw I was 35 when I started ttc, I will be 38 in August and now have a beautiful 3 month old son, so take heart!
His name is Mr Priddy and his contact details are The Clementine Churchill Hospital, Sudbury Hill, Harrow, HA1 3RX, phone No 0208-426-20-97. You may need a letter of referral from your GP - but if you go private, he shouldn't refuse to do it. My GP did a letter straight away. Alternatively he might accept self-referrals. All the best xx

2ndDestiny Tue 21-Jul-09 11:43:41

Hey there
Just wanted to answer your post and say I share your feelings about all these obscenely fertile people popping out babies. It is really hard, and people who have never experienced fertility problems or pregnancy loss are not always very sensitive. I mc'd my first pregnancy 7 months ago and have not been able to ttc since as my periods never came back. Before then my social life was full of childless people, since then my cousin and a bunch of friends have all announced pregnancies and it takes such a mammoth effort to be pleased for them, then you feel guilty for how angry and envious you feel inside.

By the way I think you should see a different GP. Your doctor is not doing his job properly. As you are over 35, as I understand you should be referred for fertility investigations after 6 months of ttc. Don't know who to recommend but if you can afford to go private I would pick one of the fertility clinics in Harley St. They do cost the earth though and you are entitled to investigations on the NHS! ggrrrr at your doctor angry

indigotall Tue 21-Jul-09 11:44:44

Thanks loads for that, its so silly, I'm just having the worst day so far with this. And its so hard not to feel like you and your partner are the only ones in the world going through all this.

Mouette Tue 21-Jul-09 18:04:49

I know what you mean. My sister in law got pregnant a few months before me and gave birth 2 weeks after my mc, it was unbelievably hard. She was not particularly sensitive either. But remember, you're not alone, lots of people have trouble conceiving and/or have mcs. I foudn the best remedy was to spend quality time with DH and develop new interests - I did a creative writing course, it really took my mind off things.
I also foudn that drinking cocktails in the gay bars of Soho helped! Gay men and single people are great, they're not ttc or getting pregnant. Take heart and all the best. smile

HeadFairy Tue 21-Jul-09 18:07:53

I would say change your gp. If you are over 35 and have failed to conceive after 6 months they should start to do some tests, bloods etc at first just to establish you are ovulating and there's nothing obvious amiss. It's not right your gp is sending you away.

I can't help with recommendations to a fertility clinic I'm afraid, but I have had lots of tests done when I failed to conceive after a year of trying and my gp was more than happy to help me and got the ball rolling when we'd been trying for about 8 months.

ReneRusso Tue 21-Jul-09 18:47:44

Perhaps the GP won't refer you until you have been trying for one year?
Some people recommend the Zita West Clinic but I have no experience myself.

FanjolinaJolie Tue 21-Jul-09 19:39:59

I have seen Zita West on TV and I was very impressed at her holistic approach to TTC. Worth looking into. I would also change GP as you are not being treated fairly at all and should have been referred by now or at the least listened to with a sympathetic (if not knowledgable) ear.

Have you considered temping/charting to raise your own fertility awareness? Just a thought.

MrsHappy Tue 21-Jul-09 19:50:15

I agree that you might consider changing GPs.
In the meantime, if you do want to go private, I had tests at the UCH ACU. The tests are not cheap as someone else has said, but it does get things moving more quickly. Also I have heard good things about Mr Trew who works at the Hammersmith (both NHS and private) and on Harley Street.

And charting, if you don't already, is a good idea if only because it can help you to spot if there is something odd going on with your cycle.

Lots of sympathy. TTC can be terribly draining. I hope things work out for you soon.

helenlouisey Wed 22-Jul-09 13:33:45

Hi Indigotall so sorry to hear all you're going through, I had exactly the same problem trouble TTC, it turned out I had endometriosis which was removed by laser and we managed to conceive the next month. I too would recommend Mr Trew, he was amazing. I saw him at 92 Harley Street for all my appointments but had my operation at the Hammersmith. Contact details are here for 92 Harley Street www.92harleystreet.com/contact.html

They also have a lot of info on how endometriosis effects fertility www.92harleystreet.com/reproductive_surgery.html#4

Good luck

Zoomum Wed 22-Jul-09 13:40:30

Hi, you shoudl change your GP, perhaps tweak the truth about how long you've been trying. I said I'd been trying for a year, when it was more like 9 months. Luckily I had a great, supportive GP who referred me immediately for fertility investigations. Don't give up, you should get to see someone, things have moved along quite swiftly for me on the NHS.

ladyhelen2 Wed 22-Jul-09 13:51:33

Hi there.Its awful, isn't it? I went through similar after a mc last year. Everyone seemed pg or had just had babies. I can't help on the medical side of things but just reieterate what the others have said. What I can recommend is reflexology! I had it TTC, and it helped. Had it after my mc and it helped get my cycles back quickly. Its lovely having someone massage your feet for an hour and who knows, maybe it will work. There are those that specialise in maternity and fertility reflexology too. If you are in the East Midlands , I can recommmend two in Nottingham. Good luck.

shortie3 Wed 22-Jul-09 13:55:49

Indigotall,

I have used the Bridge Centre:

http://www.thebridgecentre.co.uk/

They will perform the basics checks on your and partner such as blood chromosone tests,sperm tests and also a hydrocosy scan. This is a 3d scan where they will check your tubes ad ovries using a dye. Quite painless and can also check ovary levels.

Aftrhis you will have a consultation on your choices dependent on your results. They can be:
- go away and continue trying to concieve
- take fertility drugs to stimulate more egg production or
- fertility treatment

My consultant was called Dr Mohamed Menabawey and was very pleasant understanding man. Do you have any private health care? I am on a company BUPA policy and they cover the costs of finding out the causes of infertility (not the treatment) and you only have to pay the excess. This saved us a lot of money. Also, you should be able to get an appointment quickly there. Good luck

trellism Wed 22-Jul-09 14:05:02

I did the same thing as Zoomum - fibbed about how long I'd been TTC to the GP to get things moving. It's just as well I did as even when you do get your referral, there's a lot of foot-dragging in the NHS and I ended up spending an inordinate amount of time hanging around the ultrasound waiting room surrounded by bumps and babies.

trellism Wed 22-Jul-09 14:09:10

Oh, and I can recommend the Portland and the ACU in London for private clinics - my health insurance paid for the investigations but not the treatment, as another poster has said above.

I had 2 cycles of IUI at ACU and the staff are really lovely. The (NHS funded) RMU at University College Hospital is also excellent - the nurses are really pleasant and helpful and I can't recommend them enough.

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