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Am i mad ttc im 41 and people are being so negative about it plus its baby no.8

(16 Posts)
disneystar1 Mon 20-Jul-09 11:49:11

ok opinions please, im 41 and seriously thinking of ttc baby no. 8
last chance for me but am i really realy wanting to go through another pregnancy or is it the fact that time is running out for me and the end of an era is nigh.
my youngest is 1 and very very ill, i do have much love left in me and time for another baby, but when is it time to say enough is enough!!!!

madwomanintheattic Mon 20-Jul-09 11:51:04

your life, your decision. but don't be swayed either way by a v poorly child.

thefatladyscreams Mon 20-Jul-09 12:16:25

Go with your gut. I read somewhere that you regret the things you did not do, rather than the things you did.

Your (and your DP's) decision.

disneystar1 Mon 20-Jul-09 13:31:20

good point there thanks

nightshade Mon 20-Jul-09 14:00:46

personally i think you are stark staring mad but i could never understand wanting to be pregnant that often.

fishie Mon 20-Jul-09 14:07:58

i'm 40 and no sign of no2 despite plenty of years trying. so i'd say go for it, you'll always wonder otherwise and it might not happen for you this time anyway. i should think you have a pretty good idea of what is involved!

tobago04 Mon 20-Jul-09 16:21:18

I agree with Fishie,if you both want another one then why not? Years ago people always had large families so why not now,and if your body will let i say go for it,good luck!

disneystar1 Mon 20-Jul-09 21:18:26

thanks guys grin

girlsyearapart Tue 21-Jul-09 09:10:45

doubt you ever really regret having the baby but you would regret not having it iyswim. Good grief 7 kids- how old are they? go for it.

belgo Tue 21-Jul-09 09:27:44

It does sound like a mad decision to me. You have seven children, the smallest of whom is very very ill, it's them who you should be concentrating on, not thinking about another pregnancy and another baby. It's not just about having enough love for them all, you also need to have enough time for them all and I don't see how you can have enough time, especially with your youngest still being a baby and being ill.

JamieJay Tue 21-Jul-09 09:44:45

To me it does sound like a mad decision, however I couldn't imagine having 7 children yet alone an 8th.

However, it's your decision. Whatever we decide in life there are people who will think it mad/selfish/irresponsible, be it not having children, only having 1 or having a dozen.

One thing, I would say is be careful you don't exhaust yourself too much as your poorly 1 year old must take quite a bit of your time (hope they're doing okay by the way)

disneystar1 Tue 21-Jul-09 11:14:24

belgo thats how i feel this is why there is doubt
i do have the time no idea how but we all work fantastic together, my children play together and dont fight, BUT

my baby has a terminal illness has has approx till xmas left he will be 17mths then
hes having a life saving op very soon so we just dont know whats going to happen, we hope it extends or prolongs his life but we also know he may die, you have no idea of how this is destroying me as a mother and im crying as i write this, it was suggested by the hospital phsych to maybe have another child as a focus i guess plus they know me and understand i can do this
tbh i dont think i will my dh says i should but im emotionally drained and rather than focussing me i think it may be the opposite for me
the pain i feel everyday and when i allow myself to think of what may happen to samuel is horrendous,
this is why i asked opinions on this to see what other mums felt like and what they would do, sad

girlsyearapart Tue 21-Jul-09 11:26:09

poor poor you i just cannot comprehend what you all must be going through. However- contradicting my earlier post- I don't think it's the right time for another baby. You will need all the strength you have to get through the op without the mental/hormonal and physical exhaustion that pregnancy brings. You will also need to be strong for your other dcs.
Also is the condition your baby has hereditary- could another child have same?

disneystar1 Tue 21-Jul-09 11:34:55

yes its hereditary, i guess i already know the answer dont i, and your right what you just posted, samuels got downs as well, i think i may be just avoiding the issue and not dealing with samuels condition.
its so hard though when you actually plan a child and are so happy when you get the bfp
all throughout my pregnancy i did his nursery so beautiful , i was told at 27 weeks he was very ill and i had the choice to not have him born alive , i just couldnt do that, he was born at 37 wks with a doctor present it was obvious right from the start he was different.
he has a totally fused skull, no room for his brain to grow
no roof in his mouth
heart disease.
hes just gone down for his nap with his oxygen as he doesnt breathe to well anymore, there letting us take him on holiday next month before he goes in
in there words to make memories not my words as to me my sons going no where not even a possibility to me.
i just accept this.

disneystar1 Tue 21-Jul-09 11:36:08

i meant to say i just cannot accept this.

thefatladyscreams Tue 21-Jul-09 16:07:17

Disney - so sorry to hear about your son. You have so much on your plate - be gentle with yourself and take care.

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