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having a really hard time conceiving

(7 Posts)
stuckLM Mon 13-Jul-09 17:21:18

hello my name is Laura and me and my partner have been trying to conceive for two years and 2 months. Since we fist started trying i have always felt that there may have been something wrong. Within the first couple of months we think that i may have miscarried as i had a very bizzarre 'period' it was really painful and had huge clots in it (but i will never know).

Following this we just carried on trying and it took me another 2 years to become pregnant(april 2009) at first they thought i had miscarried and then when they finally did a scan and we found out i was six weeks pregnant but it was an ectopic. I had a laproscopy to remove the ectopic and my left tube.

I had a follow up appointment a copuple of weeks ago and my mind is full of questions. The doctor i saw was extremely negative and didnt really offer us much hope at all. He told me that it was a right mess down there and that i had lots of scar tissue and that everything was everywhere. i think he said y bowel was under my tube or something i dodnt know. they also removed a large ovarian cyst on my right ovary. (i still have both my ovaries which is good i suppose). the surgeon seems to think that my only remianing tube could be blocked as well. i gotta have a lap and dye to see if this is the case. and i have never had any STIs or endo either im so confused can anyone offer me any hope

I think the tube is blocked as it took us so long to conceive and i am still young. i have read at it does take some woman 2 years to conceive but i just have a feeling. and i am sure the surgeon wouldnt have been so negative if he thought we had a chance.

i just dont know what to do anymore its to hard for my partmer to talk about at the moment. and my family just dont seem to grasp the concept at all. i can understand why my partner feels so sad because i do to but i need support and he told me last night that i more n less couldnt talk to him as it made him feel miserable. i really need some help at the moment and was hoping that some of you could offer me some support that i really need at the moment.

DarrellRivers Mon 13-Jul-09 17:27:59

Stuck, you have had a rubbish time recently and you sound like you have so many questions.
It sounds like you are having investigations which should hopefully give you some answers, but the hard thing is waiting for the answers
You say you are young, which is a good thing, as hopefully time is on your side
Hope some of the others on here who have had an ectopic will be along soon to offer some more wise words
Hope you get the answers you need smile

OracleInaCoracle Mon 13-Jul-09 17:39:24

Hi Laura, you have really been through the mill and im not surprisesd you are feeling despondant and confused. After my ep 2.5y ago i was told that there was substantial scarring and my bladder was misplaced (cs, doctor was impatient angry) a HSG would confirm that the remaining tube was blocked, but it was open and i have managed to concieve 4 times since my ep. unfortunately have mc'd each time, but thats a separate issue. what im trying to say is that there is hope. an ep isnt always the end of the road, but it is a huge thing to get your head around. sounds like you both need to grrieve. i wish that we had taken a break after mine because its a big thing for your body to go through. did your cons suggest counselling? sounds like you would both benefit.

anyway, am here if you want to talk x

AramintaCane Mon 13-Jul-09 17:43:23

I had a similar experience TTC it took us many years. We were told it would be a miracle for us to have a baby as we both had fertility issues. In the end we got there. Just don't give up. Find out as much as you can about your situation from your doctor and ask for other opinions if you can.

There are support groups out there. Did they give you info about couples support and counselling ?

I know many people who had infertility issues for many many years who all got there in the end. There really is hope. We live in a time when there are things that can be done thank goodness smile

two2many Mon 13-Jul-09 18:08:17

stuck hang in there , we both had fertility
problems too , it took us six years to conceive ds & it only took us 13 months to conceive dd ,
try not to worry too much , distract yourelf because that worked for us ,

stuckLM Mon 13-Jul-09 18:47:57

thanks for all your posts guys its nice to hear from ppl who are or who have been in a similar situtaion to where we are now. i believe that once we have anserws things will make more sense and mayb once we know where we stand things may become slightly easier as opposed to the waitimg around. we are moving soon so mayb the time might be more right then but the not knowing is simply so hard and work collegaues and friends just cant understand the heartache and the amount of stress that something like this causes, thanks again xxx smile just gotta keep strong and keep a brave face on but its just so hard sometimes

two2many Mon 13-Jul-09 21:13:51

stuck , i know how HARD it can be , as i said earlier we were trying for our first dc for six years , when all around me there seemed to be pregnant women & i swear it felt like my heart was breaking ,
we moved house & i got pregnant six weeks after we moved in , & i put it down to just being so busy working & getting new house fixed up we just relaxed & thats when it happened , six years after that we moved house again & the same happened i conceived our now (3 yr) dd ,
well in our case that saying " NEW HOUSE NEW BABY" really came through .
good luck with the move smile

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