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When did you know you were ready to have a baby?

(41 Posts)
marypoppins Tue 17-May-05 16:50:29

Hi all! Just wondered how you decided it was time for your first... Was it purely broodiness, age, financial/relationship circumstances or something else?

I am late twenties and have been married for 6 years. I have a fairly good job but we do not own a house. Dh is not that happy with his job. I know things will probably never be perfect but wonder if they might be more perfect in a few years when dh retrains and we pay off some debts. Also, I have a problem with not being able to know if it would actually be good or bad to have a baby, you hear of so many different experiences people have!

Don't want to wonder whether I should start trying until it is too late but neither do I want to leap into a potentially difficult time.

How did you decide it was time to try for a baby?

WigWamBam Tue 17-May-05 16:51:10

I didn't, but she came along nontheless

starlover Tue 17-May-05 16:51:46

I didn't decide. It just happened. I was on the pill and got pregnant!
I had been pregnant earlier the same year (split condom!), and had a miscarriage.

starlover Tue 17-May-05 16:52:09

if you don't know if you want one, it's probably best not to have one!

flum Tue 17-May-05 16:54:52

It is good.

I knew when I got pregnant by accident (the useful withdrawal method) we had only been together 3 months but we knew it was right as actually the timing was DREADFUL and yet it still seemed fine. If that makes any sense.

We didn't even live together, we do now and it is lovely.

There will never be a right time to have a baby. I guess younger is a little better, less tiring - slightly

Caligula Tue 17-May-05 16:55:12

When my father died.

WigWamBam Tue 17-May-05 16:55:32

Ah, but starlover, I thought I knew I didn't want one until I had one ...

gingerbear Tue 17-May-05 16:56:28

I didn't meet DH until mid 30's. When I got to 37, DH and I decided that 'It's Now or Never' and tried ever so hard for 3 months after I came off the pill.
Wasn't even sure I was ready for it when that blue line appeared on the test.

starlover Tue 17-May-05 16:56:53

this is true wwb...
If I hadn't got pregnant with DS I would have definitely waited longer. if that makes sense!

misdee Tue 17-May-05 16:58:54

about 5 years after she was born

even now i'm still not ready. but i do my best

northerner Tue 17-May-05 17:00:40

I don't think everyone gets the 'I want a baby now' feeling. Even though I made the decision to stop taking the pill, I still had 'do I or Don't I days' even during pregnancy I thought hope I've done the right thing. But once he was here, I never doubted myself.

Goldfish Tue 17-May-05 17:00:44

With me, the feeling suddenly came on all at once. We weren't going to have any until I was 30, but at 27 I got this really broody feeling and could think of nothing else. Beforehand, I had never had the slightest urge to have a baby, even when my younger sis had 2, but when the feeling came on it was all I could think about.

Luckily I fell pregnant straightaway, then when ds1 was 6 mths old I was pg again.

jessicasmummy Tue 17-May-05 17:08:45

im the same northerner! plus the fact im now going throuhg the same second time around with jess only being 14 months when this one is born!

bundle Tue 17-May-05 17:09:47

major hormone rush, got back together with dh after 18 mths apart, gave him ultimatum about housebuying/starting a family and went for it (was 35)

Donbean Tue 17-May-05 17:55:42

Age 26 walking around Asda i heard a baby crying and thought to myself...."for Gods sake, shut that thing up"...didnt do children in any shape or form,
Walking round Asda age 30 heard a baby cry and i thought to myself..."ah, that baby wants a cuddle".
It was as sudden as that.
It was simply that the thought of having a baby wasnt the worst thing in the world any more in fact it was quite a nice thought.
Age 33 walking round Asda, heard a baby cry and i thought "ah my baby wants a cuddle.

Nemo1977 Tue 17-May-05 17:58:22

we decided as we were in a financially ok position [no longer believe me kids drain u..lol] with our own house and we just decided we were ready. We planned to get pg around xmas 03 but has discussion of being ready xmas 02..ds also decided he was ready. and was 2mths old for xmas 03..lol

lima Tue 17-May-05 18:04:19

mine's a spookily similar story to gingerbear

lavenderrr Tue 17-May-05 18:20:09

I was broody soon after I met dh and wanted children straight away but waited till we got married, so definetely a couple iyswim

vickiyumyum Tue 17-May-05 18:22:05

i didn't, we got married and then 1 week before our first wedding anniversay, ds1 decided to make an appearance (we had known for the last 6 1/2 months, no concealed pregnancy here) and then 4 1/2 years later we decided now or never for a sibling for ds1 and had ds2.
i never really considered there to be a good or bad time to have children as i don't think that you can ever be fully prepared for the impact that children will have on your life. although i have to say that most of the time it is for the better rather than worse.
if you both want children then go for it, things will work themselves out they always do!

Frizbe Tue 17-May-05 18:25:54

Dh and I decided there was no right time, but as he was approaching 40 and didn't want to be an old dad, we got to it! he's now 40 and the father of an 18mth old dd!

spykid Tue 17-May-05 18:27:35

Dh and I had been married 2 years and it justfelt like the time was right.
We were so happy together that we felt ready to care for someone else iykwim.

(god just read that back and it sounds really corny!!!)

I can honestly say that up to that point kids hadn't entered my mind, but once we had made the decision hormones kicked in big time!!!!

006 Tue 17-May-05 19:30:51

When I didn't care what my pay rise was!

onlyjoking Tue 17-May-05 19:51:57

i knew i was ready to have a baby when.....they wheeled me done for my section

shimmy21 Tue 17-May-05 19:59:32

I really believe that if we all waited until the time was right then most of us wouldn't have any kids. Most people don't have a big enough house, or salary or washing machine or whatever when they conceive. If we waited until we had all those things the chances are most of us would be in our fifties by the time we got round to chucking away the pills!

We were so broke when we conceived ds1 (out of broodiness) but things have a habit of working out for the best somehow. Kids don't need rich parents but they do best with happy ones.

kama Tue 17-May-05 20:00:56

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