Talk

Advanced search

Losing the plot TTC!!!!

(52 Posts)
NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 18:37:39

Help!

I actually feel I am going insane ... why is this SO hard?

Anyone feeling the same?

FruitynNutty Mon 06-Jul-09 18:42:32

Yes, I did feel like this when ttc DS2 (nearly four months old now). Only took us 11 months though and that's with PCOS so I was very lucky. However, it still felt like a lifetime when everyone else was falling pregnant after ttc for 2 weeks.
The only way I managed to finally get pregnant was when I completely relaxed about it - far easier said than done, I know!
I had spent 11 months taking my temperature every morning and checking for EWCM - you name it, I tried it!
I finally gave up temping for one week and hey presto, I finally ovulated and conceived my miracle baby smile

You won't be able to relax until you are ready to relax but it will happen. It will xx

sleepyeyes Mon 06-Jul-09 18:44:55

YES!
It really drags you down, sometimes I feel so certain that YES I will have a baby this time next year other times I really down and my head goes to a very dark place and I feel that we will never have a baby and start looking into adoption.

Currently we have taken a break and early next year we will pay for IVF. Although technically we aren't using any birth control so I could but we aren't properly TTC. That doesn't make much sense does it. blush

NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 18:51:38

I am just finding it really difficult at the moment! I came of the pill last October (I had been on it for about 9 years). My DP and I started TTC just after Christmas - late January I have a 'pregnant' clearblue result - the doc thinks it was a 'chemical pregnancy' - I am not doubting myself, thinking maybe it was just a false test.

So for the past 4 months I have been using the CBFM - I seem to be OV every month - but still nothing! It has been stressing me out that much I went to the nurse for a chat. Her advice was to put my CBFM away for a few months, rest, relax and enjoy my intimate time with DP!

I am just SO scared that either myself or my DP have any underlying issues! Scared to find out!!

NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 18:54:06

Few mistakes on my last post :

I am just finding it really difficult at the moment! I came of the pill last October (I had been on it for about 9 years). My DP and I started TTC just after Christmas - late January I had a 'pregnant' clearblue result - the doc thinks it was a 'chemical pregnancy' - I am now doubting myself, thinking maybe it was just a false test.

So for the past 4 months I have been using the CBFM - I seem to be OV every month - but still nothing! It has been stressing me out that much I went to the nurse for a chat. Her advice was to put my CBFM away for a few months, rest, relax and enjoy my intimate time with DP!

I am just SO scared that either myself or my DP have any underlying issues! Scared to find out!!

rachxx Mon 06-Jul-09 18:56:39

lol sleepyeyes so you're not officially trying to concieve, your just seeing what happens.

and newmember its one of the most frustrating things ever isn't it, but it will happen, which I know is really annoying when everyone keeps saying that to you, but its because its true!!

Im about ttc again after 2 miscarriages, and its so annoying going round in circles, and being back at the beginning. sigh.

NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 18:58:37

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages rachxx that must be so difficult - what makes u go on? Where do you get the strength?

rachxx Mon 06-Jul-09 20:19:09

um... I just think there is no harm in 'unofficially trying' i.e no charting, or opk, cm etc, just doing 'the deed' when we want to, not worrying about 'the right time'

This took the pressure off us, as were just carried on 'doing it' but unprotected to see what happened.

This is what I did both times before, and get preg really quickly. I think I might just being lucky, but it meant I didnt think about what day it was and stress, and just kept myself really busy, until I realised that i was late for my af, and then tested and got bfp.

We also bd quite often i.e 4-5 times every week, and I have no idea when I ovulate, which was a stab in the dark, but it meant that if I hadnt concieved that month, I knew that I must have missed my window, and thought that inevitably I would catch it in the end, so didnt get miserable about doing everything right, but still not getting preg. Obviously it was very hard miscarriaging, but I am getting tests for it now, but just trying to remain up beat about it. Most of the experts say that if you bd quite a few times a week, rather than at specific times, then you will concieve and you wont stress as much, and stressing can prevent you from concieving, it seems that being relaxed aids in concieving. The 2nd time I got a bfp, I hadnt bd anywhere near the middle of the month, so thought that there was no way that I would get BFP, but I did, so its just one of those things.

How long, and how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

xx

rachxx Mon 06-Jul-09 20:20:53

I think you should take a month of from trying to get your fertile window, and just see what happens.
I meant to say, how long have you been trying?
xx

NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 20:24:07

Hi rachxx

Thats sounds like the advise the nurse gave me - if only i could do it!

TTC 7 months now - ensuring we BD before,during and after OV!

I am 27 and DP is 33!

What about you?

rachxx Mon 06-Jul-09 20:39:23

7 months is still nothing when you look at the statistics-though I know thats better said than experienced- but only half of couples get preg in first 6 months,so you have nothing to worry about. I think its just about getting in to the right mind set in your own time, and one day you'll decide to relax a bit more. Im hoping my own advice will work on me!! I am bit more worried about ttc this time around, we don't bd as much as we used to and I just think what happens if I can concieve again, and worry loads. But because I am at the start, Im not really thinking too much into it yet.

I am 20, dp is 27, and have been trying since last august, got preg after a month, mmc in november, preg again april, mmc a week a go friday. And now I start again!

Have you tried any fertilaid/fertilblend etc?

NewMember Mon 06-Jul-09 20:44:04

Yea i have researched and most sites say it takes a healthy couple 12 months to conceieve - just hard at times when everyone else is falling round about you!

fertilaid/fertilblend? What r those?

rachxx Mon 06-Jul-09 20:56:33

They are basicaly prenatal vitamins but i took these and they seemed to work for me!

I know what you mean, everyone seems to be pregnant, and its so hard when my due date passed, and now I got to do that again. sigh.

You end up obsessing and googling everything to do with getting pregnant, a bit like a mad women, but the only comfort, is that tthere are soooo many people around you ffeeling exactly like you. Its weird that once upon a time you would worry about getting pregnant. I was thinking that may be iif I cated like I didn't want to get preg, then maybe I would, lol

KittensMittens Mon 06-Jul-09 22:25:34

Snap NewMember. DH and I have been ttc for as long as you. Friends and family are all falling pregnant. I have the 'So when are you going to have a family?', 'Why do you not have any babies yet?'. I am waiting for the 'so and so are having a baby, you are next' blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.......why is it that some people automatically think that you will get pregnant by sharing soap?

Anyway, as rachxx said, you are not alone. There is a ton of us out there.

You are right rachxx, I keep Googling everything too.

NewMember Tue 07-Jul-09 16:59:44

Our time will come ladies - hopefully sooner rather than later

Lilybunny Tue 07-Jul-09 20:40:50

Can I join this club too? Am lucky to have dd, nearly 4 but baby number 2 is just not happening sad. Been ttc since she was 2 and had mc in January.

I am sick of :

1. First response pregnancy tests
2. That'ooo my period is due but is 3 hours late..could I be pregnant?' feeling
3. Google, it has yet to tell me anything I've not yet tried (twice)
4. Useless Clear blue Ovulation predictor kits
5. The pregnant 'I'm sure you will be next' smuggies. Why are they every where... especially Ikea?
6. My GP. So far.
7. Feeling so sad when my dd asks me when she will be a big sister too.

Excuse the rant, but I feel totally !@*# today. Normally I'm a completely rational person grin

NewMember Tue 07-Jul-09 21:06:25

Welcome Lily

Ouch believe me when I say I agree with everything you have just said - I am starting to pull my hair out!

Period due in the nxt few days - so sad, as I know its coming

KittensMittens Tue 07-Jul-09 22:50:42

Rant away Lilybunny, this is a great place to do just that. We know what you are going through and how you are feeling. The latest phrase I cannot stand is, 'Just wait until you have children, THEN you will understand'. Thanks for that mate!

Here is hoping NewMember

BabyDancer83 Wed 08-Jul-09 01:58:25

I feel like my life is whizzing by at an extra fast speed, waiting until im 'not' so stressed, waiting for af to finish, waiting for the right days, waiting for the 2 weeks to pass, the whole time i feel like im just saying 'hurry up and pass by' and suddenly its July!
just a quick rant to say: ive always hated periods - dont know anyone who enjoys them - since i was 12 which is far too early to start if you ask me, and now i hate the thought of them, the sight of tampons even in shops, and almost hate myself for having them!!!! hate hate hate them! gggrrrr

ABetaDad Wed 08-Jul-09 06:50:11

newmember - I don't normally post on Conception threads as we were TTC nearly a decade ago. I also do not post here ften because I am a man and know the feelings you have a very strong and I do not want you or anyone else to feel I am dismissing those.

However, what I would say is that you have not been trying very long. Our GP told us we had to wait 1 year before he would do any fertility tests. After that I had to have a fertility test which is quick and easy for a man. Then DW after that. If you are worried go and see your GP now to put your mind at rest though.

What I would also say, is that you need to take care of yourself and DP/DH during this time. Make sure you/he eat well, rest and excercise but also remember this process can be very hard and your very understandable anxiety can put enormous pressure on him and make life really misearable for you. I know this from bitter personal experience - I actually began to dread the time we 'had to do it' and at times could not face sex at all. DW was terribly unhappy and I felt I had let her down.

What rachxx said is important. "This took the pressure off us, as were just carried on 'doing it' but unprotected to see what happened."

We did IVF and the whole process but in the end we just got pregnant naturally with two DSs - actually only after we had more or less given up.

I wish you well and best of luck. I am not going to say relax but I am going to say try to enjoy yourselves and do it for love and fun as much as you can.

NewMember Wed 08-Jul-09 15:38:26

Thank you for your advice ABetaDad

I know, you are SO right in what you are saying. I have NO patience at the best of times ... an area i always need to work on! lol

I have put my CBFM machine away - I plan to chill out for the nxt few months to see if it happens! I am going to give myself a time limit (xmas) If nothing happens within that time I will go down the testing route!

Fingers crossed tho

Lilybunny Wed 08-Jul-09 21:14:25

Evening all.

<large glass of wine in hand smiley>
Hey, I guess I may as well make the most of definitely not being pregnant!!!

Feeling a bit more up beat today, could be the wine though! Once my period is actually here (and I'm over the disappointment) I actually feel more up beat...or maybe that is just my joy of finding clear blue ovulation sticks on sale in Asda for £2!!!

I need to get out more!
xxxx

Lilybunny Wed 08-Jul-09 21:17:27

Thanks newmemeber and kittensmittens! I think you'll be hearing more from me!

ray81 Wed 08-Jul-09 21:19:06

HI guys,

is it ok if i join you? have been TTc #2 for 5 yrs, had my 4th Mc in May, they have now found i have a medical condition which is causing me to mcarry and that could stop me having more children.
I am losing the plot with the TTC and feel like it is all becoming far to much for me, feel very dispondant at the moment and am so so scared that i will never have anymore children and i'm not sure i can except that.

It nice to know i am not the only one feeling like i do.

mampam Thu 09-Jul-09 08:42:11

Hi can I join in too? I already have 2 dc's from a previous marriage but my new dh would like to have dc of his own so this is our first cycle ttc.

I have said to dh 'no pressure, we will just carry on as normal but without the contraception' and had promised myself that I would not, I repeat, would not get obsessed by it. So what am I doing? I'm on MN every day reading all the threads in 'Conception'. I'm ovulating at the moment and DH isn't feeling well/stroppy/tired therefore hasn't been wanting to BD and I find myself really really pissed off about it.

What am I doing? Everything I said I wouldn't do that's what!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now