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every month! its ovulation time so we must argue, or get stuck at work, or get a cold

(10 Posts)
oranges Thu 25-Jun-09 20:53:03

why, why why? We have been ttc for months and every month , at the right, time, i either have rotten rotas which mean i work really late, or we end up rowing, or, like this month. both. and then neither of us feels in the mood for anything.
harumph. and argh. even when we went on a romantic break we ended up too tired at the right moment.

oranges Thu 25-Jun-09 21:13:48

and tonight, it was someone getting locked out and setting of a frantic round of phone calls and grumpiness.

ReneRusso Thu 25-Jun-09 21:14:25

some where deep down subconsciously are you not quite sure if you want to conceive, or feel ambivalent about it. Of course the work stuff can't be helped but the other stuff could be that uncertainty creeping in to make you avoid getting down to business.

oranges Thu 25-Jun-09 21:31:49

i do want to conceive but have miscarried before so am also terrirfied of going on that emotional roller coaster again. so each time iget my period, I feel down but also relieved that i can not be anxious for another month.

ReneRusso Thu 25-Jun-09 21:50:18

sorry about your mc. Have you got some holiday planned? Maybe you can really relax and catch up on your sleep and that would get you both in the right mood. failing that, just go and jump on him right now smile

oranges Thu 25-Jun-09 22:11:39

i ban't. i'm in the office!

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 26-Jun-09 09:30:37

oranges,

Do you feel you received enough support after your miscarriage?. The Miscarriage Association are very good and would be worth talking to.

Forget this whole timed intercourse idea completely - it often does more harm than good within a relationship. Make love when you both feel like it, and do not focus on the supposed ovulation time - you are too likely to get the date wrong. Putting pressure on yourselves like this does no-one any favours at all.

It is possible to change your hours re the job you do?.

oranges Fri 26-Jun-09 17:59:14

i got quite a lot of support after my first miscarriage, but not the second one, I think because I now have a ds and everyone assumes I could cope. I'm also jittery because quite a few very close family members got pregnant at the same time and their due date is approaching. they don't know I miscarried and I am of course really happy for them, but the baby showers and excitement is sometimes hard to deal with.

gothicmama Fri 26-Jun-09 18:04:23

don't put somuch pressure on yourselves if your rota is for alate get jiggy earlier on in the day, the pressure of timed sex can be hell and the couple of days before or after can make a difference

oranges Fri 26-Jun-09 19:55:07

Thank you. DH is being a star seeing that I prod him awake and sulk if he doesn't respond immediately. The upside is that we both do always feel better afterwards.

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