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Sick of TTC

(11 Posts)
RetroMum1 Fri 19-Jun-09 10:40:47

I am currently ttc no2 and we have been trying for 6 months now. Although this is not long for the average couple it is really getting me down.

We always wanted a 2 1/2 year age gap so started early just in case it took a few months and now it looks as if it's going to be at least 3 years.

DH doesn't really want to have sex at all and now that we are TTC he only wants to have sex at the weekends. I've tried explaining that this isn't how it works and he says he'll make more effort then every month it's the same.

All my freinds are expecting numbers 2's now and although I am happy for them I'm really struggling with playgroups and coffee as all they do is talk about their pregnancies and midwife appointments.

Any tips on how TTC quickly appreciated!

ChocEclair Fri 19-Jun-09 11:34:03

Are you temping? It's good as if you can, get an idea when you ovulate then you can time sex better so DH doesn't feel under pressure every night of the month! Fertility friend is good for this.

Feel free to join us on Bonkers Anonymous if you'd like some moral support smile

Tigresswoods Fri 19-Jun-09 16:21:50

I'm with you on the reluctant DH, Retromum!

I had to give him a good talking to this month that we can't just put this off to later, it is now or never. Sounds like you are having this problem every month though so not sure my situation will improve any time soon either!

RetroMum1 Fri 19-Jun-09 20:41:15

Yeah well I am quite lucky as i get ovulation pains and every other month i a having quite heavy spotting along with it, does anyone know whether this is a sign that i am ovulating every other month?

Tigresswoods it's driving me mad too, I very sorry that my body is not in sync with Dh's desires!!!

Dalrymps Fri 19-Jun-09 20:48:06

I'm with you on this one! Totally sick of it. We too want 2 and a half years but is going to be at least that now, we're on month 7. Tbh we're both getting tired of doing it so often and on certain days rather than it being spontaneous. We've hardly bothered this month!

Just wish I knew when it was going to happen!!! I do appreciate however that some people have been trying for a lot longer than I have and I am just winging really...

I try to remind myself i'm very blessed to have ds but then I think 'but I want a friend for him!' <stamps feet>

RetroMum1 Fri 19-Jun-09 20:51:56

That's exactly it my mum said just enjoy your DD and be thankful for her, which I eternally am but that's not the point.

Before i had DD I had a MC and thought it woudn't be as bad if I already had a DC but now that I do I know that I was wrong, I love my DD but i want a playmate for her and we want another child for ourselves too.

nunnie Fri 19-Jun-09 21:02:37

I felt exactly the same, so I backed off for 2 months, I didn't count days I didn't to the best of my ability think about having another child.
I am now back sometimes a break is good!
I used to care about the age gap thing, but now it will happen if and when it does, it took me 4 years with dc1 and I am now getting close to 2 years trying dc2, tbh it is heart renching and I used to think I was selfish for being so unhappy not getting pregnant with dc2 when I had a beautiful dd, now I don't see it as selfish at all, I couldn't physically love her anymore than I do!

No problems on the not wanting to bonk front, problem we have is wanting to bonk at the wrong time and not really wanting to bonk at the right time if that makes sense.

Anyway my advice somewhere in this waffle I have written, is maybe take that break and see how you feel, after a couple of months you will know deep down if you really both want another. Good luck smile

RetroMum1 Fri 19-Jun-09 21:25:58

Thanks Nunnie, last month I tried to have a break and see if it happened just naturally!!! But it didn't and when AF arrived I felt awful again so i decided to jump on the bandwagon again. Now i am wondering whether a couple more months of is the best thing

doulalc Fri 19-Jun-09 22:09:07

I'd take a break from watching the calendar, counting days, and "scheduling" the sex. Certainly continue to have sex, but focus more on just enjoying yourselves instead of what the goal is. Hard to do, I know if you are really hoping to become pregnant.

Sex can easily become a chore, especially for the man, if it becomes too much by the book.

Without pointing it out to him, focus more of your efforts on the two-three weeks in the middle of your cycle, but try to be as spontaneous as possible with some of your bding sessions.

Hopefully not too much longer for you!

sunburntats Fri 19-Jun-09 22:16:20

try trying for 2 years only to have 2 mcs, that is somehting to be pissed off about sad

I agree with you, it just gets an effort doesnt it. i kinda get in the shower of an evening, sigh to myself,sigh as i get in bed, do the deed.then same the day after, then wait every month for .....nothing but af to visit.

It is rubbish at times.

Dalrymps Fri 19-Jun-09 22:26:14

sad sunburntats, hope it happens for you soon...

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