Has anyone used 'Taking charge of your fertility'/FAM to get preggers?

[FrenchLimeBlossom]

Hello all, am TTC #3 and panicking already that there is something wrong! Fully admit am a bit neurotic about this so feel free to think I am a bit of a loon (but preferably not tell me so).

I am 32 and a half, not underweight (ha! I wish) or obese, eat a fairly healthy and varied diet and manage some exercise sometimes, don't smoke or do drugs, drink very sparingly (DH have up drinking and so I rarely do any more) and always had perfect 28 day cycles - but despite all that I did not get pregnant immediately after starting to try (or stopping stopping, IYKWIM). How bizarre!

Of course I know I am overthinking, some couples take 10-12 months to conceive etc - but I have got typical alpha-wannabe-mum syndrome ("everything else comes to me automatically when i decide i am ready for it so why not a baby").

Some friends recommended TCOYF by Toni Weschler, I've devoured it, become ashamed of my lack of knowledge about own body, and started charting but wondered if anyone had some good experiences to report? Or bad reviews i suppose, but they wouldn't be quite so reassuring at the moment.....

Or any other tips, other than have as much fun practising as possible around when you think the right time will be (we're already on it! )?

[luckywinner]

I bought it after a miscarriage 5 years ago and read it and thought it was great, purely because it made me feel in control somehow.

I got pregnant two months later! I am just pregnant with number 3 but felt irrationally that there was something wrong with me before getting pregnant. I kept thinking I couldn't possibly be lucky enough to have another baby. Completely warped thinking I know!

Good luck and I hth

[bessie26]

I read it & charted, also had acupuncture (to fix irregular periods) and gave up all wine drinking - was pregnant 3 months later

I suspect it was the combination of all the above that did the trick, but after reading the book I was also shocked at how little I knew about my own body... how come they don't tell you in school you'll only be able to get pregnant a few days every month?!

[MrsHappy]

I have used it for 4 or 5 years to get pregnant and to understand what is going on with my body when not ttc.

I credit it with saving my life (seriously), when I would not otherwise have known I was pregnant (BFN followed by a bleed) and charting helped me know both that I was pg and that something was wrong - it turned out that the pregnancy was ectopic. I reckon it is always a good idea to understand how your body works and to learn how to read it.

[Heathcliffscathy]

have just read it! it is an incredible book not just from the pov of trying to get preg imo.

[ShowOfHands]

I read it and used it. Took 2 months after a long 14 months and miscarriage.

It's normal for it to take a year or more to get pg. Your chances of conceiving are never more than 25-30% and it makes perfect sense that you don't get pg as soon as you start trying for most people. The book does help you optimise your chance.

I now use FAM as contraception as I don't want any more children and it's meant I don't have to use the pill/coils etc.

[WorrisomeHeart]

I read TCOYF this month too - am into Cycle 2 for #1 and although I had been tracking my cycles since Feb to give myself an idea of Ov etc, this book has really helped to give me a better picture - particularly with the decriptions of CM! Lets hope it helps with a bean sticking...

[FanjolinaJolie]

Not read it, but I have followed fertility awareness methods of contraception and TTC for the last five years or so.

I learned so much about my cycles having NO idea when I had been ovulating (long cycles, ov on day 19 or later) and finally after about six months of charting and temping I fell pg with dd1.

DD2 took five months to conceive.

She's now 2.5 and we've been following FAM in reverse for contraception.

Am now feeling wistful for #3...DH not convinced but if we do we'll be using FAM methods to try and conceive again.

[FanjolinaJolie]

ShowofHands - Hello!! Nice to meet someone else using natural methods for contraception. Everyone seems to think I am barking to be doing this, including my GP, but it works for us and I am much happier and healthier without hormones mucking me about.

If you don't mind me asking...Do you follow the 6/3 rule? Ie no unprotected sex six days before ov and three days after. Are you this careful? What do you use during your fertile time?

I am very careful, perhaps overly so from six days before ov. But if I don't see any EWCM I assume I'm safe.

[ShowOfHands]

Oh I know what you mean about the 'barking' thing. People look at me like I'm recklessly sleeping around with half the football team when in reality my body is so boringly predictable that it's as safe as any other form of contraception, if not safer. Once you understand how minimal your chances are anyway, it's quite an easy thing to tap into.

I ovulate on day 11, occasionally day 12 and af lasts 7 days so generally I have only one day inbetween then end of a period and the start of ewcm. I abstain or use condoms (which I despise) on days 9-12/13. I know most eggs have started to deteriorate 6hrs post ovulation and usually you're safe within 24hrs thought have read the 3 day thing as a failsafe. I wait probably 36hrs post ovulation before I'm no longer worried but tbh feel a bit 'bruised' and headachey post-ovulation so am not swinging from the chandeliers anyway.

NB, SOH is not rich, she does not have chandeliers, she employs this image for comedic purposes only.

[decafgirl]

I used it & would definately recommend it. We were TTC for a year and got a BFP the 1st month I used it. Probably a total coincidence but was just thrilled to be finally pregnant! She recommends you wait for 18 high temps but I knew I was pg before that. Good luck!

[kookykid]

Haven't read whole thread, but just wanted to say I am 29 weeks pregnant having used this after a year TTC! Go for it!

[Wonderstuff]

I found taking my temp difficult but did tune in to other signs and found the book really interesting. Where did people get thermometers? I found it hard to find one when I looked (many years ago).

[decafgirl]

Boots sell a little kit with a thermometer, and chart book for about £12.

I agree - rememebering to take my temp before I'd even moved in the morn was a nightmare for me - my hubby refers to me as 'the swamp monster' in the mornings

[ShowOfHands]

You can pick up a digital thermometer from lots of places. Most chemists. I've got one from poundland actually and it's absolutely fine.

[babyignoramus]

Showofhands - did you start using FAM straight after giving birth, or did you wait for your body to get back into its normal rhythm first?

[ShowOfHands]

I was exclusively bfing every 2hrs day and night (and did so for the first 7 months before she started to go longer stretches). I didn't pay much attention as clearly nothing was happening. When she was about 15 weeks I woke up and knew I was ovulating. I always have such clear ovulation signs that I knew what was happening. DH thought I was going mad but no my period turned up a week later. I don't actually take my temperature anymore as I know exactly what my body's doing and have a clockwork cycle. Plus, when my periods first came back after dd I was still infertile as my luteal phase was never longer than about 6 days. It took months, nearly a year actually to regain a normal fertile cycle. So, er, no I didn't chart or anything but it became obvious what was happening anyway so I didn't actually need to iyswim.

[ShowOfHands]

My cycle remained odd after dd because of the bfing I think btw. A normal cycle and bfing seemed entirely incompatible for me. I'm still bfing at 26 months and have a blocked duct every time I ovulate. Which is weird. And annoying.

[FanjolinaJolie]

I can thoroughly recommend the FREE website www.fertilityfriend.com you can enter your resting temperatures in, plus note your CM type and presto it tells you when you have ovulated and you can see it on a graph. As the months go on the website collates your cycle data and you have some very useful stats to use.

I temped for about two years, start stop. Most months I ovulate on day 19, but have ov'd as early as day 16 and once as late as day 22. Those are the exceptions, though.

It will also show clearly if you are not ovulating at all, in which case you would have to see your GP for further advice.

[FanjolinaJolie]

You need a digital thermometer, by the way.

Can get one from Boots or similar. They are cheap.

You must remember to take your temp first thing in the morning, ie before you have got up! I leave the thermometer next to the alarm clock.

[HaventSleptForAYear]

I used it to get pregnant with DS2 after a miscarriage and v. long cycles.

Got pregnant the first month I used it and have recommended it to all my friends, even those NOT trying to get pregnant!

I can't believe how little I know about my body - used to think I had an STD when it was cm!

[FrenchLimeBlossom]

Thanks so much all of you - great responses. I will definitely keep using FAM for contraception as well as proconception.

As I am a newbie i may have messed up my shorthand - sorry to mislead - we are TTC #1 but I am in cycle 3

Digital thermometer is by the bed and has been popping in first thing every day, surprisingly easy to remember, so far all very consistent and quite low actually..... hopefully the spike will be easier to see if/when it happens - fingers crossed for Friday....

Got some EWCF this morning though (day 13) so looking positive!

Best wishes to all, I will be shouting from the rooftops if it works for us!

[FanjolinaJolie]

Good luck for you French. What you learn by using this method you will never forget.

Keep bd'ing when you see the EWCM and when you get your temp spike you know you've ovulated.

If you have any questions regarding FAM just keep posting away and I or someone else will do our best to answer them for you.

[Geocentric]

I loved TCOYF - bought it when we had been ttc DC1 for 2 months - 2 months later I was pregnant. With DC2 I got pregnant 1st time round; I wasn't even charting, it was just the whole knowing your body better thing.

Now I use FAM as contraception (together with condoms if around ovulation). I love being in control and knowing my fertility signs.

[Piffle]

I used fertility friend and tcoyf to conceive ds2(DC#3)
Brilliant

[HaventSleptForAYear]

(hijack) geocentric do you actually do the temperature stuff for contraception or just watch out for ovulation?

We also use condoms but go without when I know it's safe, (for me, just after period, or once I see ovulation is over properly).

I have a long cycle which helps.

I don't do the temperature, I'm not sure I could be bothered on an everyday basis.