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Where do i start with this ttc stuff?

(14 Posts)
sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 20:54:16

AF due in 3 days (thereabouts)

Want to try as soon as af finishes.

Taking folic acid.

How often should we bd?

For how long should we bd, a week/2/3 weeks?

What symptoms do i look for in terms of ovulation etc?

Thanks guys, am vvv stressed by it all.

Neeko Sat 13-Jun-09 21:09:19

First, try to stop stressing. (Do as I say, not as I do) and try to keep it in perspective: it takes even healthy ouples with no problems a fair few months normally. I'd advise you to get yourself onto or ebay and buy a stack of ovulation prediction tests (OPKs) to allow you to know when you're ovulating. Most people believe it to be about cycle day 14 but that is just an average, so it could be earlier or later. Try to have sex at least every other day during your fertile phase, but no more than once a day.
I don't know if you know about temping (taking your temperature 1st thing in the morning and recording it for a pattern) but I'd recommend it. In any case you should try the Fertility Friend website as it gives you loads of information about signs of fertility and taught me a lot.
Anecdotally, people say drinking grapefruit juice in the first half of your cycle is supposed to help you to produce more fertile mucus.
Phew... Most importantly try to eat well, drink lots of water, relax and not allow TTC to take over your life. (Again, do as I say, not as I do grin)
Good luck.

skidoodle Sat 13-Jun-09 21:14:39

Why not just shag a lot and enjoy it?

If nothing happens after a few months then you could start trying to be more precise by working out when you ovulate etc. It is possible to figure it out without tests if you have a regular cycle and are familiar with how it works.

Making babies is fun. Turning it into a stressful project before you have any reason to doubt your fertility is not so fun.

sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 21:23:10

Sorry, been trying for 2 years, had total of 2 mcs so far thats why i am anxious. sad

Have never taken notice of cycle etc.So clueless.

This year had mc in March, but noticed that i concieved days after my period had ended. We had sex only the once that month, and it was then, so i worked out that i must ovulate very early on. Not 14 days after.

We want to try again now, both feel ready.

Not keen on ovulation testing, and temperature checking and all that carry on.

Just really really want to attempt it with simplicity in mind.

Just want tips on best times etc. Thanks for the advice so far.

skidoodle Sat 13-Jun-09 21:46:56

Why not keen to temp or test? It will help you get a handle on your cycle quickly if you aren't too familiar with it.

Figuring that out might serve to calm you down rather than stressing you out more. Knowledge is power and all that.

So sorry to hear about your mcs. It's no wonder you're anxious

Neeko Sat 13-Jun-09 22:01:40

I started temping after my MMC and it has definitely helped me feel less helpless IFSWIM. Very difficult to pinpoint ovulation without temping or OPKs I would think so maybe you should just have LOTS of sex. Good luck.

sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 22:03:31

I just think that its too much to think about.

adds to the stress and muddies the water.

doulalc Sat 13-Jun-09 23:34:26

Since you think you might ovulate on the early side, start trying when your period ends. Every other day is usually fine, but if you want, every day is ok too unless there were a known issue with sperm count.

When your body is preparing for ovulation you may notice a change in the discharge you experience. Often it will become more fluid, more abundant, and more clear. Although it usually is pretty evident externally, some women will find checking internally works for them. This sort of mucus allows the sperm to survive for a few days (most only about 2-3 days, some a bit longer) prior to actual ovulation, otherwise they die off fairly quickly. The egg is only viable for about 24 hours, often thought the first 12 being the optimum so trying for an exact day can cause you to miss the mark. Best odds of conceiving are having the sperm ready and waiting.

You can also check the feel and position of your cervix. When ovulation is approaching, your cervix will soften like your lips, feel slightly open, and shift higher. At other times it will be lower and firmer like the tip of your nose.

Some women notice some slight discomfort low in their abdomen usually over either one ovary or the other. This can happen just prior to actual ovulation, during, or right after ovulation. Some will find they are more interested in sex during the days leading up to ovulation. You might also experience a bit spotting on occasion during ovulation.

If you decide to temp/chart or use opks at some point, keep in mind it can take a few months of use to notice a pattern. They work well for some women, but are frustrating for others. They can be helpful in determing when you are the most fertile in your cycle and then you can concentrate more on that week with perhaps a few more sessions of bding.

Make any lifestyle changes that you know would be healthy....this includes partner as well.

Keep in mind, timing is just one factor with conception. There are a number of variables that have to be just so. This is why it can take perfectly healthy couples months of trying. Most will become pregnant within a year of trying, but some will take even longer than that.

Fingers crossed you don't have to try too much longer!

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 16:45:30

Thanks doulac.

I have what i have always described as "ovulation pains" i have timed bding around this and month after month for 2 years absolutely nothing.
Then i found i was pregnant after bding a day or so after the end of my period.

I have a change in my cm, again i have timed bding around this change......month after month nothing.

I think that this is why i am not willing to go down the route of all that carry on. My body plays very cruel tricks on me!

Every other day (or every day if i can keep up the energy)

Folic acid
no alcohol
5 a day, good diet

bit of excersize.

wish me luck.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 14-Jun-09 17:37:58

What sort of pains do you get, are these pains mid cycle?. If so that should be investigated further.

Timing of intercourse is a ttc no-no and this can also do more harm than good relationship wise. Do not also look for "symptoms" of ovulation; these can mislead and it is all too easy to get the date wrong.

Also normally fertile women do not ovulate every single month and it is quite possible to have periods without ovulating.

Ovulation is not an exact science and a woman can ovulate earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle.

Having sex every day is not necessary (it can also weaken sperms) and can put pressure on both of you particularly if one of you does not feel like having sex.

Have sex as and when you both feel like it; do not put undue pressure on yourselves. Sex two or three times a week throughout the cycle is fine - forget this idea of only having sex on set days!!!.

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 17:47:01

Ov pains about day 14 (i think)
One sided,(alternate sided each month) low abdomen, sometimes accompanied by sharp stabbing pains in my bum, dragging sensation in my "undercarriage" and discomfort. Paracetamol usually eases it. lasts from 12 - 24 hours. Same every month.

Cm becomes profuse and very watery at about day 20.
Again same every month.

Kinda timed bding at or around these times on and off over the last 6 months or so.
Prior to that i have not taken too much notice.

Had 2 mcs in the last 12 months, had 2 prior to that. All of these conceptions have been with no following of any kind of signs or anything, jsut random sex really on random days.

Its all very confusing to me, you seem to have the whole thing sussed out.

And you are right with your advice. Thanks

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 17:51:09

Last mc i had several scans. I specifically asked the sonographer to check out my overies, they looked normal (was thinking polysystic overies).

Also no mention of anything wrong with my uterus as in endometreosis.

Just bad luck to ahve so many mcs im told.

doulalc Sun 14-Jun-09 17:57:14

Were your miscarriages early on in each pregnancy? Was there any determination as to a possible cause? Any blood work done?

It may not be a question of becoming pregnant, but of sustaining a pregnancy that needs to be addressed. Has this been discussed with your gyn?

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 18:09:51

hmm, well it took 2 years to actually get pregnant. All losses before 12 weeks, all losses blighted ovums.

So, going to have blood taken next week, got an appointment with gynae bloke in about 5 weeks.

He tells me that he suspects everything to be normal, and that bieng the case he cant offer me any help.

So it takes years to get pregnant, then cant keep hold..or do it properly.

I have a 6 year old BUT took 2 years and 2 mcs to get him.sad

Had a tiny glimmer of hope on the timing front when i got pregnant earlier int he year when we did it once a day or so after end of period.

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