Stuipd conception question that I really should know the answer too. .

[SAEJ]

So, this is actually me effort at conceiving number 2. Number 1 was no effort - very lucky, just did what come naturally on Honeymoon.

This time round it appears that we are actually having to try, not least because we don't have quite as many opportunities!

My cycle is 30 days, I ovulate at about CD 13. When should I be dtd? Before ovulation? On the day of? During? After?

I understand the process but don't know if I am meant to have dtd before I ov so there are sperm waiting or during so they meet or after so the egg is already there?

Sorry if this is ridiculously dim question - any answers appreciated.

[HeadFairy]

The official line is you should be having sex every other day throughout your cycle, but those of us in the real world appreciate that's not always possible with a small child on the scene (not literally ). I've always tried to aim for having sex every day for the three days before ov and on the day of ov itself. It's worked four times for me now.

[Page62]

i think it is supposed to be day before and the day you ovulate.

but i'm sure somebody far more sure would come along shortly!

[stillstanding]

And how do you know exactly when you are ovulating? I have been using Clearblue testers which measure LH surge ... which I think means that I will be ovulating that day or the next. Is that right? And if so do you just go for it those two days or before as well? And do you know how reliable those tests are?

(Sorry to crash your thread, SAEJ, but I too have lots of silly questions on this too!)

[SAEJ]

Hmm, that wa actually my addional question o- I use OPK and they are showing positive now - does that mean that I am ovulating now or am about to ovulate?

Stillstanding - am so with you on the confusion.

[wasabipeanut]

If you get a positive OPK you are likely to ovulate around 36 hours later. All women are different through hence the importance of covering the whole fertile period!

[HeadFairy]

wasabi's right, I usually ov within 12-16 hours of getting a peak reading on an ov test, but it does depend when you test for ov.

The LH surge is usually during the day, so if you get a positive in the morning, it could either be the tail end of the previous day's surge, or it could be the start of that day's surge. Hence covering the whole period. I'm wary of opks, I tend to use other signs, ewcm and cervical position as a better guide. If I'm still getting ewcm and my cervix is soft high and open then I keep at it.

It takes a bit of practise, but once you get to know your cycle it does get easier. I can't believe I took 18 months to get pg with ds. Three times since I've got pg either the first or second cycle of trying and I'm 38 now.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

SAEJ,

OPK's are problematic to use as it is possible to have more than one LH surge in the month. Also not all surges are automatically followed by ovulation. These kits are actually best avoided, particularly if the menstrual cycle is irregular.

Fertility, generally speaking, does decline with age. With a 30 day cycle you may equally not be ovulating around day 13. Ovulation is not an exact science and it can occur earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle.

Make love when you both feel like it and forget about this idea of it being the supposed ovulation time. It is all too easy to get the date wrong.

[SAEJ]

Thanks all, we are ying just to relax. This is only our third cycle so I know it is still very early to start getting all het up.

Just all new because first time was so easy.

Am not sure where to find info on other signs of ovulation etc - any good books or links anyone recommends?

Think I will bin the OPKs if they can be so unreliable - sounds like they are a waste of money!

[stillstanding]

I think it really is important to relax ... Having said that I am feeling far from relaxed 16 months later and wish that I had been more proactive at the start in working things out. It feels like the longest year of my life and I can't believe how lucky we had it with DS who was conceived first cycle. Best of luck to you, SAEJ - I hope you have more luck than me!

[stillstanding]

I found Fertility Friend quite useful in understanding your cycle etc but it mostly about temping which I have been told is a waste of time....

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

stillstanding

Have you seen the GP as yet?. Both of you should be tested further, secondary subfertility is not actually all that uncommon.

[PlantASeedWatchItGrow]

headfairy if your still around and dont mind me asking....what have you got?

(as in DD or DS..)

[stillstanding]

Attila, I have seen my GP who was absolutely hopeless and in retrospect gave me very poor advice.

We have now just gone to a fertility clinic to have tests done and it turns out that one of my ovaries is better than the other (which is apparently normal) but my LH (or FSH? Can't remember now) is a bit high. The main cause for worry though is DH's sperm which has only 6% "normal shapes" and low votality.

Not great news overall but in some ways I feel better to have an explanation of sorts. All this time I have been worrying so much about timing and thinking that we must just be getting that wrong somehow (I am quite reliant on the OPK kits) which was incredibly frustrating.

I just so wish we had gone to the clinic after trying for 6 months as there is so much we could have done between now and then to put ourselves in a better position than where we are now.

[HeadFairy]

Hiya plantaseed.... I don't mind you asking at all, I have a ds. Am currently 10 weeks pg again and will find out sex again in about 10 weeks. Are you thinking whether my method produces boys? I know you're supposed to have sex before ov and then stop the day before ov to have girls, and if you want boys you're supposed to abstain for a couple of days before ov and then go for it on ov days. I'm a little of all these methods, we haven't had a boy born in our family for nearly 30 years so I think it was just our time.

[PlantASeedWatchItGrow]

Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking!
I've heard the same thing and was just seeing if it had worked for you. We have one DD and would like to try for a DS (although any DC would be lovely). I'm not sure whether all these are 'myths' or true. The reason behind them seems to be justified i.e the 'boy' sperm swimming faster but not lasting as long etc, but just seems pot luck really!

[HeadFairy]

My mum's convinced whether the father is a smoker or not makes a difference. We've got some family friends where the dad is a heavy smoker and he's had 6 daughters, my BIL was also a heavy smoker and also has 6 daughters. Totally unscientific though I'd like to think we could influence it, but having watched the great sperm race on channel 4 a few weeks back I'm convinced it's just down to luck of the draw.