Emmsy's onwards & upwards part four.... more BFP's please!!

[MummyLovesSadie]

Just trying on Barbie's shoes for size as we are desperate for a new thread & needs must...... blimey aren't your feel small!!

[Neeko]

Hi gracie sounded very authoritarian on thread 3 so I've come over here Hope you're joining me.

[MummyLovesSadie]

Phew thought I was going to be on my own with my voice echoing into the dark & lonely night!

[Neeko]

Right have added a watch to both threads so I really am off to sleep now. Night night x

[MummyLovesSadie]

Night, I'm going to take my insomnia off to bed now & try & beat it into submission with my book! x

[GracieGirl]

Hello New Thread! I think I've sorted it.....

[GracieGirl]

Night night all!

[MrsKate]

hi new thread bring us all good luck and happiness xxxx

[barbie1]

size 5 mls

Well done on the new thread!.....my head is a mess so stayed away for a few days......basically i cant handle working as much as i am, im burning myself out i have had three days where i leave the house at 8am and only return home to sleep and start again, no time for anyone or anything too tired even to skype home so had the biggest case of homesickness yesterday, foul mood due to tiredness and then the desire to be pregnant is so strong that its quite frankly depressing me some what.
Left dh at the pub watching football last night, was in such a bad mood, poor soul didnt realise what was wrong because i couldnt tell him ended up driving across dubai at midnight on my own, tears streeming down my face.

Dh this morning has told me that no job is worth this much distress but i have no idea how to get out of it? I have to go soon but im going to try to figure out in my head what i need to do....im lurking so please forgive me if im not posting for a few days.

Ps sorry af got you kate i didnt even have any idea of where in my cycle i was until i checked on here! not one symptom for me this month so guess ill be due a visit from the witch in about 5 day....

Sorry to start a new thread like this, next time ill be brighter (barbie crosses her fingers and leaves for another long shift)

xxx

[MummyLovesSadie]

Poor Barbie your dh is absolutely right, no job is worth that. From your previous postings it sounds like every job out there makes you work like a pack-horse. All of this is putting more pressure on you to get pregnant & the last thing you need when ttc is stress. You are in a vicious circle & need a way out. It's going to be impossible though to look for another job whilst working such ridiculous hours. Do they not have other positions at your work with less hours? Could you not maybe do some of your beauty stuff self-employed from home at hours to suit you or do people not do things like that out there?

BTW yes your feet are small, no wonder your shoes were hurting as mine are size 7!

[GracieGirl]

Hello Barbie, sorry to hear you are having a rough time, I agree with your DH, no job is worth that much stress. Did you find out how your English colleague managed to get a 30hr job? Don't stay away too long, we're not very coordinated without you are we MLS and Neeko? We confused ourselves and started 2 new threads.

Barbie - just off to the post office with your parcel!

[Neeko]

Morning all.
The old bitch witch got me so I'm racing Mrskate and jools to a bfp next month!
Barbie Really sorry to hear you've been sad. Sending you a big hug.

[GracieGirl]

Neeko sorry AF got you too.

[LionstarBigPants]

Oh Barbie sorry it's such a raw deal for you at the moment. I have to agree, is it really worth that much stress, especially if it has an effect on your chances of conception. Plus we can't have the bounciest member of the thread feeling down

VJ third trimester - the time is flying by (at last!)

MrsKate much sympathy about AF arriving. Don't worry though it will happen soon enough, in the meantime relax and enjoy your first months of married life whilst you still have that 'honeymoon glow' - it'll be replaced by 'pregnancy glow' before you know it!

Fingers crossed for annie today, the first scans are mentally so difficult, but we're sure it's great news.

blue I know just what you mean about withdrawing. I found the first 3.5 months of this pregnancy so stressful I just wanted to crawl under the duvet most of the time.

Jools I know what you're going through. Today is my EDD. I was feeling fine about it, until this morning . I'm sat here with this new LO wiggling away inside, but I still somehow feel cheated of the LO I should be holding - today! I think we will be holding them in our hearts forever.

[Neeko]

Rescued the list
Small pants

Kate ttc#1 cd 2
Neeko ttc#2 cd 1
4ever ttc#1 cd 28
Gingermumi ttc#4 cd 28
bakingqueen ttc #1 cd 28
GracieGirl ttc#1 cd 25
Curly ttc#1 cd 23
Barbie ttc#1 cd 23
babyinacorner ttc#2 cd 19
cupcakefairy ttc#1 cd 16
iggypiggy ttc#1 cd 14
littlebellsmum ttc#3 cd 11
mermaid ttc#2 cd 9
Jools ttc#1 cd 5
Cupoftea ttc#3 ? waiting for AF

Medium pants

MLS BFP 20th May
Anniecam BFP 28th March
Molliemooma BFP 6th Apr
Bluesatinsash BFP 14th April
Scorpio BFP
BlueMoon1981 BFP
MM BFP

Big pants

Lionstarbigpants due 26/09/09
Vjaybigpants due 26/08/09
Sabsbigpants due 26/09/09

Cupoftea Think I might have your CD wrong. Can you check please.

Lion sending you a hug too. Sounds like you need one today.

Annie Big deep breaths...

[Joolsiam]

Just bringing over the list

Have tried to update - hope I got it right ..

Neeko - the race is on My cycle is normally 28 days ....

Barbie - you can't go on like this - hopefully you've proven you are such an asset to the company, they will let you reduce your hours rather than lose you..

Thursday List

Small pants

4ever ttc#1 cd 28
Gingermumi ttc#4 cd 28
bakingqueen ttc #1 cd 28
GracieGirl ttc#1 cd 25
Curly ttc#1 cd 23
Barbie ttc#1 cd 23
babyinacorner ttc#2 cd 19
cupcakefairy ttc#1 cd 16
iggypiggy ttc#1 cd 13
littlebellsmum ttc#3 cd 11
mermaid ttc#2 cd 9
Jools ttc#1 cd 5
Kate ttc#1 cd 2
Neeko ttc#2 cd 1
Cupoftea ttc#3 ? waiting for AF

Medium pants

MLS BFP 20th May
Anniecam BFP 28th March
Molliemooma BFP 6th Apr
Bluesatinsash BFP 14th April
Scorpio BFP
BlueMoon1981 BFP
MM BFP

Big pants

Lionstarbigpants due 26/09/09
Vjaybigpants due 26/08/09
Sabsbigpants due 26/09/09

[4everhopeful]

Knock Knock - Hello girls can I pop back in for a bit please?

Barbie nice to see an old face on here even if it is a bit tear stained hon.. Miss you tons and sending a hug for you.. xx

Mermaid where you at? It feels like the girls I started this journey with are dissapearing Iv not been on for a while cos I feel like Im being left behind a bit in the progress stakes, very 'groundhog day'... Im guessing you feel the same my lovely?

Annie Thinking of you today sweetheart - sending sticky thoughts of hope to you..

Mrskate and Joos I deeply sympathise with the BFN. Me too.

I also convinced myself i was pG, as had done loads of bd, felt very hormonal, crampy last week, big boobs but 2 BFN mon & tues. . Really sunk me down very low, as we now only have 2 more attempts under our treatment. Feeling quite desperate and devestated, all I want is to be a mum, so so so badly. I always speak too soon & now really worried I wont fall in next 2 cycles. Also v worried that maybe eggs are being fertalised but not allowed to stick by my stupid condition and that the cramps last week and ultra heavy AF Iv had recently maybe v v early mc? Over analyzing as usual. I just hate the fact that I was always the super positive, glass half full, rosy tint specs wearing gal with a smile no matter what. This has ripped out my heart and my soul and it takes every ounce to be 'normal' and keep on going. I miss me.

It didnt help that mon was our (getting together) anniversary & me & DH had this week off, back to work today for me, so had already planned it all out, find out I was PG and put feet up basically! Instead, last fri, poor DH broke his right hand at work so cant do anything, so spent all week off v unconstructive (nothing done in house/garden/socially) & i ended up doing all cooking, cleaning ect as poor DH cant! We are very much a team usually & he does more than his share, so this is a all bit of a shock to the system for me..! In work today then off tomorrow to take him to hand clinic tomorrow, he might have to have it pinned so back up the day surgery unit only this time for him not me! I had 4 ERPC in 11 months there so I know them all sadly.

Anyway, the bloody bitch AF aint even here yet so no doubt to add to to my current joy I'll prob end up with a 35 day cycle so I have even longer to wait til next time.. Also wanted to say how crap about girls who 'dont realise' they are PG . My ex manager was 3m before she 'realised' and she has my edd. The 3 PG here are all massive and I try and fight my . Mt PG friend Iv not seen properly since I MC, she is due 2 weeks after I was in Sept. Her & ex manager seem to have a slightly superior smugness to me now & certain insensitive comments are made that i think they do know they are making. I do feel very alone right now, as said even on here, girls I started this with are long gone, everyones moving on but me.

Sorry so and for mega ramble. Making up for the last week.

[cupcakefairy]

Hi girls, oooh a brand new lovely thread...!

Neeko so sorry the witch got you Let's hope and pray 4ever and ginger and bakingqueen are going to make this month at least a little happier! Any of you testing soon??

annie thinking of you today. Will be checking back for news

MLS I would suggest don't go for a scan til at least 8 weeks. I went for my first one at 6 weeks last time and they 'couldn't see enough' so had to go back at 7 weeks (faint heartbeat but baby too small) and 8 weeks (baby died)...those 3 weeks were absolute hell and next time I don't want to go for a scan til 9 weeks. At least by then they'll definitely be able to see a heartbeat. But obviously it's your decision, don't want to sound like a prophet of doom, I'm sure your bean is absolutely fine

Hi blue and moon! Good to see you girls back. Moon you'll be joining the big pants crew before you know it too Big congrats on third trimester Vjay

I'm still glugging the grapefruit...need to go out for more today! I suggested bd to dh straight after Apprentice last night but he said he'd rather watch Desperate Housewives! Haha! Which I was happy to do of course... and we still managed a quick go after

[cupcakefairy]

4ever I'm so so sorry, cross-posted with you. Feel incredibly sad for you. I know I haven't been here very long but just wanted to say please please don't feel like you're 'left behind' here or anything like that!! We'd miss you so much if you went. I'm just so sorry for everything- the pg friends, your dh's hand, the BFN, the af.... oh life is CRAP sometimes. I'm so sorry

Same goes for you Barbie...want to just cuddle you both. Go and stock up on chocolate, cupcake's orders!

[Joolsiam]

Oh 4Ever The end of cycle and hope / BFN / waiting for AF stage is absolutely the worst ever It DOES get better from here on in - you WILL bounce back. You KNOW you can get PG, so next month is your month.

Do you know for certain when you ovulated ? I only ask because the time from ovulation to AF rarely changes but the time before can get longer, so if you ov'ed later, perhaps AF is indeed due later and you are still in with a chance ? Tis not over yet.

I am missing Mermaid too

[Neeko]

4ever actually just shed a tear for you. That is so crap! I wished a bfp more for you than me this month and I'm so gutted it didn't happen. Please don't give up. Stay on the thread and let us take care of you. If you come to my house I'll even cook you and your DH tea!
Jools Great minds with the list! We'll have a meeting to work out our BD battle plan later!
Right, I'm going to get rumbled at work if I don't get off of here.
see you later!

[cupofteaplease]

Oh 4ever and Neeko- sorry that you're both feeling down I hope you both have luck this cycle.

I too am feeling incredibly low today. I convinced myself yesterday that maybe my AF wasn't coming, because maybe I was actually pregnant. So did a FMU test today and guess what? BFN. As predicted.

Then I took my girls to their CM and she broke it to me that she cannot have them FT in September anymore. I feel so guilty for them and it's all my fault. As I am teacher training, qualify in 5 weeks, I don't have paid employment. Because I was due in November, I didn't start job hunting for Septmeber teaching jobs as I should have been all blooming and resting by then. So of course, my stupid, crappy body decided to stop nurturing my little bean and I MC and now don't have a job for September. Nor have I applied for any. So I couldn't give my CM definite hours for needing her for September so she has (quite rightly and understandably) accepted new children for September to take my dds' places. I know I'm completely unreasonable, but I feel gutted for the girls- they love the CM and her children SO much and dd1 has had so much upheaval in her little life, I really hoped CM would be a stable fixture for them.

Stupid, stupid MC has messed up EVERYTHING. And now dh is hell bent on me getting a FT job for September so doesn't want to TTC. So I was desperate to be pregnant again, as it may have been my last chance.

[iggypiggy]

4ever am so for you - you sound so down. I really hope you get your BFP soon xx

Neeko sorry the witch got you - lets hope she goes fast and that next month is your BFP month.

jools this must be bad time for you xx

barbie really sounds like you need to change jobs - although am sure is not that easy

MLS well done on new thread!

Am thinking am not going to get PG this month myself - we have not yet managed and BD action... Dh is ill (man flu - terribly ill...) and working v. long days, leaving house at 6am and back late - so am hoping that have not ov'd yet and maybe some action over weekend Don't want to pressurize him tho.

PG girl at work (EDD 2 days before mine would have been) has just had lots of maternity wear delivered to our office..

anyway - waves to Gracie cupcake curly and mrskate and to everyone else!

[cupofteaplease]

Iggypiggy- so sorry you have that constant reminder every day at work. I have hidden to Due in November threads now as I'm just not ready to happy for those people who we should have been pregnant with. I know how awful that sounds- no excuses really.

BTW barbie it sounds like you are working far too hard.

Hi to everyone else- I was a little too self absorbed earlier to greet everyone on the thread

[iggypiggy]

cupoftea I don't look at them either

Sounds like you have v. rubbish time at the mo - do you think DH will change his mind?

[cupcakefairy]

I think I must be a bit of a masochist then cos I still look at the November thread every now and then and just sit there jealous I will really have to stop doing that before they all start having babies though!

cupoftea sorry about the whole CM/work situation...and iggy with the maternity wear thing...talk about rubbing it in your face!

Today really isn't a happy day is it... I would like to challenge you all to tell me something that made you smile today... you can wait til the end of the day to see if anything does if you want
Sending hair-strokes to you all!