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Mid Thirties First time TCC

(1001 Posts)
donttrythisathome Sun 05-Apr-09 14:06:49

Anyone feel like joining this bus??

I'm 36, TCC 1, never wanted children and now have done a complete u-turn!

TCC 1, Cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD12

kidowner Mon 06-Apr-09 11:59:33

I had all my dc in my 30s, last one aged 40.
Best thing I ever did.

Have 5 and yet in my 20s never wanted any, not the slightest interest.

Weird eh?

It's all because I met a man who I thought my god I want babies with you.

That had never happened before!

Now I've got my brood I realise I had been maternal all along but it went into a love of animals, horses etc, looking after them instead.

skihorse Mon 06-Apr-09 12:14:54

I'm 35 and until my late 20s was not interested at all. At that point of my life I was with a complete waste of space and I thank the lord I didn't get impregnated by him, because remaining civil for 18 years would've driven me bananas! I've also had a LOT of therapy and quite honestly would've been a horrible & shit mum 10 years ago. blush

I'm now in my 6th cycle of trying and tbh it's wearing me down. I thought getting pg would be a piece of piss - after all, every 14 year old out there armed with 20 bennies and a bottle of buckfast can do the trick! grin

A little apprehensive about going to the docs for help lest she turns around and says "get with the programme you barren old bitch!"

laurielou Mon 06-Apr-09 12:43:25

Shift up & let me on too!!!

Technically I suppose I'm no longer "mid" 30's - I'm 36 & galloping along to 37 (why does that sound sooooo much older?)

Spent most of my life thinking I didn't want children - still scares me half to death. Now I think (hope) I'm ready & nothing is happening.

Been with DP for 13 years, he's always wanted children. I know he'd be the most amazing father, just hope I could match him as a mum.........

skihorse nervous about going to docs too. DP seems even more so as he keeps saying we'll do this & that before we restort to docs. Either way, I need to get my arse into gear to do something.

You did make me smile with your every 14 yr old analogy. Maybe we should all resort to smoking bennies, drinking cider, wearing hoodies & hanging around on streets. Not that I'm generalising at all!!!

skihorse Mon 06-Apr-09 13:15:49

laurieloo - I fear this is where we're going wrong. You and I both know the surname of the "boy" we're shagging... and we do it in our own bedroom, not in my parent's bed under a pile of coats.

We tried last month getting plastered and having a drunken shag but it still didn't work! This month we'll try some role-play and I'll make out he's from a school the other side of town.

I will prob go to the doctors next week - I'm entitled to 6 IUIs and 3 IVFs but obviously there will be lots of tests to be done before that stage. OH has been forewarned that probably the first one will involve him, a wank mag and a yoghurt pot.

laurielou Mon 06-Apr-09 13:22:57

a wank mag? That might be the angle I need to get DP to go to docs!!!!

skihorse Mon 06-Apr-09 13:53:55

Wank mags + nurses.

VeryAnnieMary Mon 06-Apr-09 14:07:38

Me too! Am 34 and have been off pill since 31 Dec 08. Terrified have left it too late and equally terrified that I will get pregnant and regret losing my comfortable lazy life.

Should we have a list so we can keep score (as it were - teenage euphamisms aside)

donttrythisathome cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD12
skihorse cycle 6, UCL?, CD?
laurilou ?
VeryAnnieMary cycle 2, UCL (appears to be)49 (this month), CD6

kidowner thanks for your words of wisdom - hang out with us and share more.

skihorse Mon 06-Apr-09 14:42:59

cycle 6, UCL26, CD2

kidowner Mon 06-Apr-09 14:48:39

Goodness I didn't even like children v. much in my 20's. I thought nothing could be cuter than a seal pup.

I had also given up the idea of ever finding my knight in shining armour.

I even read an article in Cosmo which said for all you women still waiting for Mr Right, forget it, he doesn't exist. That seriously depressed me.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I met the love of my life and married him aged 32. My landlady at the time said ffs don't delay to for a baby. (I used to help her inject to stimulate egg production as she was undergoing IVF)

I do recommend being pg in the 30's if fit, healthy, right weight, right foods (plenty of folic acid too)and p too. Absolutely no fun otherwise.

Had all mine at home, water births, so have become q. the earth mother.

Would foster too if I could but told dc are too young.

VeryAnnieMary Mon 06-Apr-09 16:14:53

donttrythisathome cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD12
skihorse cycle 6, UCL26, CD2
laurilou ?
VeryAnnieMary cycle 2, UCL(appears to be)49 (this month), CD6

Thanks kidowner - sounds like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Children terrify me except for my little niece who appears to like me and understand me. I've got a feeling my friends don't think I'm going to "breed" as I'm a godmother twice over already. We're trying basically cos we've run out of reasons not to and haven't really given up the idea of having a family. I'm wavering between utterly obsessed and totally ambivalent.

donttrythisathome Mon 06-Apr-09 19:45:16

Aww, great to hear from you all! Should have made it just "30s TPP" instead of "mid 30s". Oh well.

For me , I think it was meeting the right man too as I never wanted them before and hallelujah I didn't get preggers with some of the serious losers I wasted my "yoof" on!

My DP has only agreed though for me, to make me happy and make me feel more settled here (I'm an expat) I do feel worried and very selfish. I'm just praying that if we get lucky he'll fall in love with the little mite.

To be honest though I also think sometimes what if I'm making a mistake? My life is good now, why risk it all? And terrified about having a SN kid (I dont want to offend anyone as I know they are as special and loveable as anyone else) but could I cope??!

Feck it, bring on the Buckfast - doesn't it make you..ahem..f*ckfast. need for that kind of thing etc etc....wink.

Even though I've just started I have gone to the docs already as I'm the kind of person who just wants to know! There are things to help if you have a problem and time is so tight for us now surely its better to know sooner?? So I'm getting all the tests - LH/progesterone etc. Mind you, she never mentioned DP wanking in a pot...hmmm...must be remedied!

donttrythisathome Mon 06-Apr-09 19:49:24

Amended this to change my CD
donttrythisathome cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD13
skihorse cycle 6, UCL26, CD2
laurilou ?
VeryAnnieMary cycle 2, UCL(appears to be)49 (this month), CD6

skihorse Mon 06-Apr-09 20:16:32

dontrythisathome - where are you? I'm an expat too living in The Netherlands and I do actually need to get to a doctor soon as they won't help over 40 and being over 35 I am likely to be treated as somewhat of a "curiosity" anyway! wink

donttrythisathome Mon 06-Apr-09 22:13:52

Oh I'm an expat in England!

I bet you wouldn't be a curiosity at all in NL!

skihorse Tue 07-Apr-09 08:11:09

donttrythisathome - you would've thought so! But once you turn 40 the medics turn their back on you and write "crazy cat lady" in your life! ;) I've heard that post 35 you go straight to the consultant ob at the hospital, do not pass go, do not collect 200 euros!

skihorse Tue 07-Apr-09 08:11:36

life = file - but it amounts to pretty much the same thing doesn't it? wink

Liskey Tue 07-Apr-09 08:23:51

Hi I'm 35 and ttc - been with Dh for 14 years and thought I wasn't really bothered about it till last year when I was pregnant for the first time but had a mmc in August sad

Now we're both committed to trying again and I'm starting to worry about time ticking by.

donttrythisathome Tue 07-Apr-09 08:38:41

Liskey, really sorry to hear about the mmc. Welcome onboard.

Ski, can't believe the attitudes in NL, thought they were all progressive like there?! Kidowner has me dreaming about earthmother water births now - wouldn't like the medics to presume you needed major medical intervention!

VeryAnnieMary Tue 07-Apr-09 09:34:33

HI Liskey, sorry to hear about the mmc, welcome to crazy-cat-lady page, let's hope we all graduate soon (esp as I hate cats - and they hate me too)

kidowner Tue 07-Apr-09 09:37:00

Oh yes, they all were worried me being an 'elderly prima gravida'!!!!! Can you believe that's what you'll be called????

Having age, wisdom and experience on our sides I think 30s mums make the best mums.

Anyway, I was too busy enjoying a fabulously selfish, self indulgent, me me only me lifestyle in my 20s.

Then I saw my dh and BOOM!

I didn't want to think only of myself anymore, tired of being selfish, wanted his baby, imagined what s/he would be like, imagined the mix of genes, (wanted his best points to compensate my bad ones!)

I married a chap 3 yrs younger, so don't think it's just you if you're not conceiving as quickly as you'd like. My dh is v. fertile hence all the babies since (nothing to do with me!)

I did all the research, don't like pain at all so opted for the best and only option available for trouble free pgs.. a home water birth! Check out the sites, they are inspirational!

Of course the medics weren't keen, wanted me induced etc but I knew from the research I'd done (have Ph.d so know all about research!)
that I wanted to keep them all at arms length unless baby was in distress.

1st birth v. long at home, they would have cut me open if I'd been in hospital. But as baby was not in distress I knew baby would come when he wanted to.

All mine were 2 weeks late and over 4kgs. 1st birth harder than others, but that's to be expected.

I had lavender oil in warm bath and back massage, tape of positive thinking.

It's definitely a 'rite of passage' and a v. humbling exp. to think of all the women in history going through this process.

There is absolutely nothing like it in this world when they put that little bundle on your boob.

Definitely cuter than a seal pup.

skihorse Tue 07-Apr-09 09:55:03

My OH is 23 so one would think his stuff would be in order! wink

Home births are something the Dutch are very good at, over 60% of births are done at home which actually I would prefer. Not having friends and family over here I'd rather be in MY house, with MY stuff, sit in MY bath, open MY fridge and wander around when the time comes.

Welcome liskey.

I would've been a right selfish b*tch of a drama-queen mum in my 20s. Think Kerry Katona... with extra "emotional difficulties"! grin

Cosmosis Tue 07-Apr-09 10:18:02

Hello can I join in?

I am 34 and came off the pill in December. Unfortunately I haven't had a period since my withdrawal bleed. I had some blood tests last week to see if there was a reason for my cycles not going back to normal and found that my FSH levels are slightly higher than they should be. I am getting a referral to a gynaecologist, but that may take up to 18 weeks apparently.

Am going to try accupuncture in the mean time as have heard that can be good for sorting out cycles.

So; TTC #1, CD106, UCL ??

PistachioLemon Tue 07-Apr-09 10:26:35

Morning ladies, can I join too? I'm 33, DH is 40 and we've been trying since January. A couple of you know me from other threads (hope it's ok to join this one too) and hello to everyone else.

I'm currently on CD 26 of UCL28 but I'm not very hopeful this month so I suspect I'll be around for a while.

skihorse cycle 6, UCL26, CD3
VeryAnnieMary cycle 2, UCL(appears to be)49 (this month), CD7
donttrythisathome cycle 2, UCL 28-33ish, CD14
laurilou ?
Pistachio Lemon cycle 4 UCL28 CD26
Cosmosis TTC #1, CD106, UCL ??

donttrythisathome Tue 07-Apr-09 11:24:06

Delighted to meet all the newcomers.

Cos, best of luck with the referral.

Kidowner you are so inspirational, please stay here! If I get lucky I'll be nearly 37 having baby - do you think homebirth would be ok, if everything else is in order?

And skihorse, 23!!! Go girl!

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