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Egg donation or Surragacy.... anyone done this or knows a bit about it?

(18 Posts)
Toothache Wed 20-Apr-05 20:37:26

I have been thinking about this for ages. I can remember even back at Uni speaking to my friends about what would be the worst thing that could possibly happen in our lives. My friends all mostly agreed that being told they have a terminal illness would be the worst. They all thought I was mad when I said the worst thing would be if I was told there was no possible way I could EVER carry a child.
Luckily and thankfully I have gone on to have 2 beautiful and healthy children quite easily. But my heart just breaks for those women who are not as lucky.

I have been thinking about egg donation and wondered if anyone had any experience?

Also, I am very sure that if one of my friends received the news they couldn't have children I would certainly offer my services as a surragate.... but I think I could only do it if the baby was not mine bioloigically ie it was her egg and her DH's sperm.... not my egg.

Is there anyone else out there considered this.... or perhaps done it! Just thinking about it and would love do something that special for a friend or a family member/

Toothache Wed 20-Apr-05 20:38:56

Should say.... that I hope none of my friends ever get the news they can't concieve!

Nemo1977 Wed 20-Apr-05 20:39:23

I would love to do surrogacy but would worry about getting attached to baby. I have a friend who has done it 3 times and she says its the most amazing feeling.

Would also consider egg donation once I have finished with them...lol

Peachyclair Wed 20-Apr-05 20:45:31

I have thought about egg donation, but worried about law changes that allow contact. Not so much how it would affect me, as obviously by agreeing I am saying I am happy to create that child, but if ten years down the line, ds's found they had a brother or sister? That worries me.

Couldnt do surrogacy as bad pre-eclampsia experience, but admire those who do.

Toothache Wed 20-Apr-05 20:50:05

Hadn't thought of that Peachyclair, but I don't think that would bother me too much. I think I'd probably try to explain to ds and dd from the start. Obviously I'm thinking into the future here as dd is only 8mths old!

But would I always be looking at kids in the street and wondering.... ?

choccychic Wed 20-Apr-05 21:44:53

Toothache,
I looked into this a bit last year as we now have our 3 children. Some people/articles were a bit negative about the physical effects of the drugs you need to take and the number of visits you needed to make . I decided that this was a small price to pay for the benefit to someone else of a longed for child. However I fell at the last hurdle because the fertility and embryology advisory body recommend an age limit of 35 (I'm 36 now). None of the hospitals I phoned would accept me on that basis. Maybe if it is someone you know personally it is different but I don't know anyone in need! Good luck if you go ahead I think it is a truly wonderful thing to do for someone!

onlyjoking9329 Fri 22-Apr-05 13:40:08

i did the egg donatation, i had no bad effects from the drugs, it was time consuming, but well worth doing, and the result was a baby girl who would be about seven now, i would do it again but i am too old, i have letters from the couple who recieved my eggs one when they found they were pregnant and one after the birth i shall treasure them forever. if you want moe info you are welcome to CAT me

Toothache Fri 22-Apr-05 13:41:43

Thanks Onlyjoking... I hope you're not only joking though... HA HAHHAHAAAAA FUNNY?? No? Okay..... ignore me, it's been a long week. I will CAT you.

Peachyclair Fri 22-Apr-05 13:58:53

How often do you have to go to hospital? I would be interested, but I worry about that as I have three boys (whoever got my eggs, dont be wanting a girly now, my eggs are allergic to girly sperm!) and very little in the way of childcare

katzguk Fri 22-Apr-05 14:11:57

i would do egg donation if they changed the law, i think that egg and sperm donors should each have an individual number which goes on the babies birth certificate. i have this major parnoia that brothers and sisters could end up married simply because they didn't know they came from donated eggs or sperm

onlyjoking9329 Fri 22-Apr-05 14:46:27

i seem to recall that i had to go for a few scans and then towards the end of the treatment i had to go in daily, i was on maternity leave at the time so time wasnt that much of a problem, as for childcare they do cover travel expenses and childcare, thou i didnt claim it

bayleaf Fri 22-Apr-05 16:13:57

Any one who is interesed should take a look at www.care-fertility.com bulletin board which has a special sectio for people needing/offering egg donation - not an 'adverts' board, just a 'chat' section like this.

Miaou Fri 22-Apr-05 16:27:31

I would love to donate eggs too, but re. the age limit have only two years in which to do it, and live 2.5 hours from the nearest big hospital, so "daily trips" would rule that out for me....

I told dh about wanting to do it recently - he was concerned that eggs would go to those who have left it too late to conceive (ie lifestyle choice) rather than those who genuinely can't have children - if I was ever able to do it I would like to know what kind of person/people it was going to.

Dh was a sperm donor at one point and knows he fathered a boy who is now living in Finland - he was known to the donee (correct word?) and therefore I do wonder about said child ever getting in contact. I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

Miaou Fri 22-Apr-05 16:29:51

I would love to donate eggs too, but re. the age limit have only two years in which to do it, and live 2.5 hours from the nearest big hospital, so "daily trips" would rule that out for me....

I told dh about wanting to do it recently - he was concerned that eggs would go to those who have left it too late to conceive (ie lifestyle choice) rather than those who genuinely can't have children - if I was ever able to do it I would like to know what kind of person/people it was going to.

Dh was a sperm donor at one point and knows he fathered a boy who is now living in Finland - he was known to the donee (correct word?) and therefore I do wonder about said child ever getting in contact. I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

Miaou Fri 22-Apr-05 16:35:06

whoops sorry

Mirage Fri 22-Apr-05 20:16:13

DH & I discussed egg donation when we were waiting to go down the IVF route.Thankfully we never needed IVF,but having 3 pregnancies in quick succession & now being 36-I'm too old.I would have liked to have done it-what greater gift can you give someone?

sarzy Tue 26-Apr-05 17:53:45

There is a register of children born as a result of donated gametes, which can be checked later on if it is suspected that two people might be related.

Having had IVF,I think I only had three or four scans, in two weeks, then the retrieval, most places don't require you to go daily. For anyone considering it look at the www.hfea.gov.uk website for further info and details of local clinics.

For those who are worried about who the eggs will go to, most will go to people like me who are going through early menopause, (I'm 28) those who have had cancer, have had to have their ovaries removed for some reason or those with genetic conditions that they could pass on to a child. If you go to an NHS clinic you can guarantee they won't go to older women, most have a cut off of between 40 and 45.

Private clinics are a different matter and some will treat women in their late fifties - even those who already have children and grandchildren, which really pees me off.

Jangel Mon 16-May-05 10:30:30

Hello all..

I hope that no one minds me posting this here, Im new to the boards, so hope im doing this right..

We have been through Host surrogacy(my egg, hubby's sperm)the result being our beautiful boy/girl twins who are now approaching 17 months old, Im now broody again, if we were able to find another amazing surrogate to help us, then we would love to try again..

Everyone has their own views on surrogacy, but I feel that unless you or someone close to you as been through it, then it's really hard to comment, all I do know is that if it wasn't for the special lady that helped us we would not have our beautiful babie's..

If anyone wanted more info on surrogacy then I would be more than happy to point you in the right direction, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to put links and so on, on here..any women that ever does consider it are true earth angels, the gift of life is so very precious, Im sure you will all agree..

Take care
Jackie

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