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How do we treat an emotional TTC colleague

(8 Posts)
Colleague Tue 12-Apr-05 22:08:37

I work with someone who has been TTC for 2 years. She has had a few miscarriages and has health problems and I really feel for her. However, she is sooo emotional, working with her is v.difficult. We have now worked out her cycle, and marked our diaries to be careful those days, but what can we say/do when she sits and cries all morning, or flies off the handle and swears at us if she takes a joke the wrong way.
Any advice gratefully received.

munz Wed 13-Apr-05 10:13:22

that's a hard one. not sure realyl, but big sympathys, and also a big bump back up to the top!

wild Wed 13-Apr-05 10:20:52

do you have a boss who could tell her (kindly) that personal problems are inappropriate in a professional environment? it sounds harsh, but it sounds like you've tried sympathy - she does have a job to do, presumably (say I sat here on MN)

Marina Wed 13-Apr-05 10:22:13

What's your line manager doing about this ? The team leader is in a position to have a confidential chat with this poor woman, and tell her what is and is not acceptable in the workplace (I'm thinking of the swearing and angry behaviour, by the way).
I lead a small team where several of us have been through the mill parenting/health/relationship wise over the years and while we all make allowances for each other's feelings, and support each other very well, we all know that bad language or lashing out is not acceptable. A good cry-fest is fine, I really don't expect staff to leave their emotions at home.
You all sound as though you are being very sympathetic. The woman needs to be given some strategies for coping with her angry feelings, from your HR department or your manager.
I work with someone whose partner has suffered two traumatic miscarriages over the past three years and time is running out for them. I do of course make sure he is not constantly exposed to cheery chat about my two children, photos etc, but without him being aware that I'm doing it.
Good luck with this one, it's such a sensitive issue for you all.

Marina Wed 13-Apr-05 10:23:13

Snap wild! Wondering if the boss is a "la la la, I'm not listening" fingers-in-ears, scared of hormones, guy, perhaps?

wild Wed 13-Apr-05 10:30:14

i'm constantly suprised by bosses - m and f - who are frightened to tackle this kind of issue preferring to ignore it and let everyone else stress about it

mummytosteven Wed 13-Apr-05 10:30:21

yes I think that this does need your boss's input - as well as the effect on you, sounds like it's a health issue for her as well, your colleague might benefit from a referral to occupation health.

Colleague Wed 13-Apr-05 15:45:04

Thanks for that. The bosses are all male, and tend to keep their heads down when necessary, and send one of us after her is she's run out in tears.
She ALWAYS apologises later, but we are living on a knife edge. Of course, when she IS succesful, we will have to train someone new up - assuming they do replace her.

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