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Broody at 22

(33 Posts)
Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 12:47:40

I am a fit and healthy 22 yr old in a strong relationsuip. The other week we (my finance and I) got onto the subject of starting a family. We are both in good jobs and have our own place.

Is 22 too young to start a family? We aren't married is that a bad thing?

Could really do with some advice on this. I am nearly 100% sure that i want to try for a baby but just need to think it through again and again! Any advice is more than welcome!

dyzzidi Mon 21-Mar-05 12:50:27

Hi Lottielou
Are you in good health??

If you a re serious about starting a family I would look at relationship, finances. support and health. ( all been checked of in my case)

Also it's not a bad idea to see your GP and check on your immunisations and general health before TTc.

Whatever you decide Good Luck!!!1

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 12:53:06

Hey Dyzzidi!
Well i am in good health and i asked a nurse at my surgery for advice, she seemed to think i wudn't have any problems and advised me to start taking Folic Acid!
Have you Children? How old are you? x

floppsy Mon 21-Mar-05 12:54:36

Hi,i don't think your to young,i was 19 when i had my first child,in a stable relationship,which i still am & have another child & i was glad i did it then alot of people said i was to young & that i should wait till i was older,but i felt ready for it & coped perfectly well.I just think that when im 35,still young enough to enjoy myself my dd1 will be 16 & my dd2 will be 12 & i can do all the things i want to do then,hope i've helped.

fairydust Mon 21-Mar-05 12:55:12

hi lottielou i had my dd when i was 22 she is now 3 - don't think there is a right or wrong age to have a baby only you and your dp will know when the time is right.

I wasn't married when i had dd but married 5 months later.

sweetheart Mon 21-Mar-05 12:57:10

I had a baby at 19. I'd been with my boyfriend quite a long time and we had our baby outside of marriage.

She was an accident but she is the best thing I have ever done and if you feel ready there is no reason why you shouldn't have a baby.

If you wait until you can "afford" a child you'll be waiting for ever - somehow you manage to find the money - well we did anyway.

I'm 24 now and I love my little family. We got married a year after dd was born and I've never looked back!!!

GO FOR IT!!!

NomDePlume Mon 21-Mar-05 12:58:47

I was 20 when (planned) DD was born, DH and I weren't married at the time, we got married when she was 11 months old. We were in a good relationship, owned our own home and were financially stable. TBH, our ages (me - 19, him - 33), were the last consideration when it came to trying for a baby. The money, stability & emotional readiness was far more important. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, kids are fab

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 13:00:04

I Haven't used this site before, i came across it by chance and i am really glad i did. Thanks guys!
I have a friend same age as me and she has a 4yr old, i love him to bits and when i see how well she copes with him i have no dobuts that i will be fine.
i think the only thing that is maybe holding me back a little is my job! I woudllike to think i will go back after the 6 months maternity leave but would it be bad to but a 6 month old into Nursery care?

SeaShells Mon 21-Mar-05 13:01:41

If you think it through too much, you'll always find a reason to wait. I had ds at 18 and wasn't in a good position at all, but have never regretted it, when you have a baby, everything falls into place, and of cause lots of new problems arise!

Sounds as though you're as ready as you could ever be to try for a baby, taking enough folic acid in preperation would be a good idea.

Good luck

NomDePlume Mon 21-Mar-05 13:03:20

No, as a parent you do what works for you and your family. If that means returning to work and placing him/her in a secure, friendly, warm and encouraging day nursery environment when you return to work, then so be it.

Mothers in general are given enough things to feel guilty about, we can't really win in the eyes of those in the mood for passing judgement - working mums 'neglect their kids' and SAHMs are 'lazy, layabouts' .

sweetheart Mon 21-Mar-05 13:04:12

Lots of women do it so don't feel bad. Is there any chance you could negotiate going back part time???

My dd went to a childminder rather than a nursery. I liked the fact she has a relationship with the woman who looks after her rather than being in a group of children with various different carers.

I know everyone is different though and the social aspect of a nursery is also great.

floppsy Mon 21-Mar-05 13:05:57

Its not a bad thing,but personally i didn't .I got a night job so dh could look after them,i was worried about the things i would miss,this way ididn't miss anything.There is new laws about maternity leave,you could extend it untill the baby is 1 then you might feel better about leaving it at nursery.

Toothache Mon 21-Mar-05 13:07:49

Lottielou - My DH and I decided to try for a baby when I was 22. We weren't married either. We actually put off our wedding until after ds was born. I knew I wanted a baby... I was just waiting for DH to say he was ready too. Within 2 mths of deciding to try..... I was pregnant!

We got married when ds was old enough to walk down the aisle with us (he was 2 when we got married).

I'm 27 now and had my 2nd baby in August last year.

You're not too young... you are at a perfect age. You sound like you've planned this really well and are both ready. So go for it!!!!

dyzzidi Mon 21-Mar-05 13:10:48

Hi Lottie I'm 27 and have been ttc for a couple of years now. I am having to have IVF. If I am honest I have always been broody and have always loved children . I have been taking folic acid but i take mine in a multivitamin as it save me taking two!

Have youand your Partner been together long?

Socci Mon 21-Mar-05 13:12:00

Message withdrawn

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 13:15:37

well we have known each other for near 5 years and have been 'together' for nearly 2 years, we only got engaged at new year and moved in togtehr on Jan but he is definately the man i want to share the rest of my life with and i cudn't imagine having a baby with anyone else.
i know that sounds mushy but it's just how i feel!

sweetheart Mon 21-Mar-05 13:27:23

sounds like you have the perfect foundation to have a happy family!!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

fastasleep Mon 21-Mar-05 13:27:55

22? That's old that is!

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 13:29:19

oh thanks! lol

dyzzidi Mon 21-Mar-05 13:31:46

when it's right its right. Only the two of you know what is good for both of you

huskygirl Mon 21-Mar-05 13:38:39

hi lottielou,

i'm 23 and just had my first child, it think its a great age, you have plently of time to enjoy them, plenty of time to get back into shape (in my case i need 35+ years i reckon!! )plenty of time to have more and your in a strong relationship. As many others have said - there is no right time really, theres always something so if you feel ready go for it. I've been married for 4 years but to me would have made absolutely no difference than if we hadn't been. I do however think its a good thing that you live together, so you can share the load and share all the happy moments together. With regards to the job, its easy to try and think about it beforehand but you really do feel differently after the birth so dont set anything in stone and just go with the flow

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 14:07:42

Thanks to all of you that shared your views on this. When i get home this eve i will be talking to db and planning my first baby!
I have so many feelings, excitement, nerves... you name it i have it.
Fingers crossed it all goes well!
Thanks again girlies, it's very much appreciated!
x

Gem1355 Mon 21-Mar-05 14:12:38

Hi

I'm 22 and expecting my first baby in 2 weeks, and i'm single, baby wasn't expected and partner left when he found out, i think i'm at the right age to have this baby and so excited. If you feel ready then why not!

Hope all goes well for you.

Gem1355 Mon 21-Mar-05 14:12:38

Hi

I'm 22 and expecting my first baby in 2 weeks, and i'm single, baby wasn't expected and partner left when he found out, i think i'm at the right age to have this baby and so excited. If you feel ready then why not!

Hope all goes well for you.

Lottielou Mon 21-Mar-05 14:57:31

Gem - Sorry to hear the baby's father left and good on you being so excited bout it. I think you're right you know! Thank you.
Congrats on your baby and i hope all goes well for you! x

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