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I want another baby!

(41 Posts)
Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:08:27

Have been feeling like this for a few weeks now and i'm so confused i don't know what to do.

DP and I have a 8 month old DD, we have just moved into a beautfil house and we are getting married next year. We always planned that we would try for another baby when DD was 1 but having got engaged we decided to wait until after the wedding. I've now realised i'm not happy with that, i never wanted there to be a big age gap between our children and even if i fall pregnant straight after our wedding three will nearly be a 3 year gap.

Money isn't a problem, we are struggling at present anyway as we have just moved in, as DD is still young have all of her furniture and equipment so it would just really be a case of new clothes.

What do i do? I really do think i want another baby but am so confused with getting married & work (have only just started back part time) my head is in a spin.
I don't know what DP's feelings are, as i haven't told him how i feel but i'm pretty sure he isn't keen on waiting untilafter the wedding. However, neither of us wanted a long engagement.

Anyone got any advice?

RudyDudy Thu 17-Mar-05 10:09:54

Can you bring the wedding forward and then try after that?

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:12:26

That would be the ideal situation but my 2 brothers are getting married (1 next month and the other early next year), plus we were struggling to afford everything for our wedding when it is over a year away as it is.

Why can't life just be simple eh?

flamesparrow Thu 17-Mar-05 10:13:03

I've had the same thing, but decided to just stick with the plan and wait until after the wedding. I keep seeing newborns everywhere, and it is driving me nuts, but I now have 1 month, 28 days of my pill left, and then it will all be over!

It has been very hard, but it has made me long for a baby so much that I think I will try and savour every moment of pregnancy this time -last time I was just wanting it to finish.


Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 10:17:00

SC- I remember feeling like when ds was about 6mths old and again now that dd is 7mths old. But as ds got older and things got easier I changed my mind!! When he was between the age of 12mths and 24mths I couldn't think of anything WORSE than having a newborn again.... but as he got independant the broodiness took over and a few motnhs later dd was conceived.

I know that the feelings of broodiness I have at the moment will pass. For me it's a longing for that tiny newborn bundle coz dd seems so big now!

I think you should have your beautiful wedding on track and get pregnant on your honeymoon! Thats what happened to us.

louee Thu 17-Mar-05 10:18:03

i'd love to have another but Dh had the snip 8 weeks ago have got a Dd 4 and a Ds 18 months so i've always agreed with everyone else" aww you've got one of each thats enough" bah humbug!!!!

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:19:34

I know that makes more sense in all aspects, plus it's what we have agreed so shouldn't really change it!

DD is so big now and so clever, learning new things all the time - she's not like my little baby anymore.

Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 10:20:33

Louee - I have one of each too. And I'm so sick of people saying that to me. Including DH! He's adament that there will be no more..... we'll see.

flamesparrow Thu 17-Mar-05 10:21:40

I'm convinced that it is something in nature to keep the population going - they reach 8/9 months and women get broody again. Probably to compensate for when lots died at birth...

It won't be easy, I'll say that now - but as the wedding is getting closer, my figure is looking good, and I can now count down baby making days, it is a good feeling.

Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 10:21:45

SC - It's incredible how quickly the baby stage goes and the toddler stage creeps in!

I know how intense the broodiness can be. When is your wedding going to be?

birdsong Thu 17-Mar-05 10:41:42

I want another baby and I've got 2 of each !!
But dh has had the snip
It is just overwhelming me at the moment. I think with some people they know when they don't want any more but I still have a stong desire to be pregnant again.

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:44:04

Not until July 2006 which is so so so far away!!!!

emmatmg Thu 17-Mar-05 10:47:29

If you want to be married first then go and get hitched on the quiet, and have a baby now.

If not just pospone the wedding, another few months won't hurt will it?

Defo have another now if DP is agreeable though.

Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 10:48:06

I see your problem SC... you could squeeze out another well before then!!!

Get pregnant next month, baby born early next year.... Breasfeed for 4mths to get your figure back for the wedding.

And with paid Mat leave extended to a year you'd have more time to organise the wedding!!

Sorted! off you go, find DH, have fun.

CountessDracula Thu 17-Mar-05 10:52:52

I would delay the wedding. It sounds to me like having your children close together is the most important thing to you. Weddings can happen anytime!

Also, don't forget it may take you a little time to conceive the second so it may not happen until after the wedding anyway!

Other alternative is to get married when pg - a couple of my friends have done it and they looked gorgeous - one wore a very sixties short Jackie O dress which accentuated the bump, the other wore an antiquey sort of ethereal dress and looked amazing!

emmatmg Thu 17-Mar-05 10:54:23

I got married when 7.5 months PG CD....and looked lovely too

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:58:06

Oh God, i am so confused now - your all meant to be helping me !!!

EmmaTMG, CountessD and Toothache - i so want to have another baby but if we do have another before getting married we will be even worse off as i wont be able to afford 2 children in nursery on my wages - will defeat the object.

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 10:58:45

My mum would kill me if i went and got married without anyone! DP's ma wouldn't be too happy either.

Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 11:03:10

SC - But if you can't afford 2 in childcare..... what difference does it make to wait until after the wedding?

Childcare is extortionate. Coz my Mum has gone and got herself a fulltime job we need to dd in Nursery an extra day a week. That will cost us an extra £140 a month!

charleepeters Thu 17-Mar-05 11:22:51

i know just how you feel ds 6months and already broody even when hes being a bugger i want so many more!

Springchicken Thu 17-Mar-05 11:25:08

Because if i have another i probably wont go back to work until DD is at school, in which case we wont require any childcare.
However, if we have a wedding to pay for, i will have no choice btu to go back to work.

emmatmg Thu 17-Mar-05 11:42:14

Our wedding cost £470 with both outfits and a dinner out for all of us.

How about just taking the people that really matter to you to a registary office, that's what we did.

Toothache Thu 17-Mar-05 13:17:32

Which is more important to you... a big wedding or another baby just now? I think that's the question you really to ask yourself. And I s'pose your DH-to-be should have a say as well (a tiny say).

You could downsize your wedding, take it from me MN is wonderful for ideas on how to save money when organising a wedding!!

Go on... you know you want to!

And if you Mum would be so angry about you going to get married on the quiet, is she contributing to the big public wedding?

jabberwocky Thu 17-Mar-05 13:22:21

I go through this fairly often For many reasons, medical and otherwise, it is definitely not a good idea for me to conceive again. I find that as ds gets older and more interesting by the day (not that he was ever uninteresting) I feel the broodiness less often and for shorter periods when it does come on. Maybe give it a bit of time as it sounds like it would be better to wait.

Chandra Thu 17-Mar-05 13:34:37

I'm on the same dilema and hurried by the fact that DS is geting older and I would like them to have a rather small age gap in between. However, my problem is slightly more complex as we would need to adopt . I will get pregnant now and be a lovely pregnant bride, but my opinion is definitively based on my age and the age of DS

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