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New girl - needs advice and common sense!

(10 Posts)
AliBean Mon 20-Oct-08 20:52:04

Hello everyone, I am 27 and my DH is 45. We have been discussing babies actively for the past two years and are now ready (!? mentally but not practically!) to start trying. I came off the pill in August and we have been using condoms in the meantime - I read that you need at least three months to clear the hormones from your system?
In December the three months will be up and then it baby making time! We have picked names and I have all sorts of ideas of how/what/where etc. Am I over thinking things and should just wait and see? How long do you think it will take to conceive - or is this a silly question. Will our age gap matter? Also we have a dog - keika our Springer Spaniel - had here since 8 weeks old. How will she react to a baby? It's such a big step and yet something I have always wanted...
Well that's a lot of questions - i will wait and see what you all have to say! Please!
Ali xx

Wishing Mon 20-Oct-08 22:01:43

hey ali - im in a similar boat to you, im 26 and dh is 40 we came off pill in january and decided to see how it went a few months later but no baby yet!! i read loads about the pill - i have since learnt you are highly to catch on after first coming off it .....i waited a few months too though. your 1st question of how long will it take to concieve is unanswerable - everyone is different!! major rule is the more you baby dance (sex) the better your chances!! you also need to make sure you know your cycle well - homw many days etc and work out when your likely to be ovulating. im pretty new to this to so without sounding wierd im here to annswer any queries - as is anyone im sure!!

its recommended that you try baby dance 4 times a week!! as for the age gap sdont think it will be an issue at all - as far as i am aware age doesnt seem to effect men as much as ladies!! it is a huge step ife had a +ive test about 2 months ago but started to bleed heavily whilst at docs and lost the bean - it can easily become all you think about, and i use this site a lot - it helps when you know someone else is going through what you are!! as for your dog, that all depends - do you give her loads of attention now?? is she your baby?? you would have to make sure you involve your dog lots when the baby finally comes along, dont just go from giving keika loads of attention to none! otherwise she will get jealous and could turn nasty! but i wouldnt worry too much about that yet - concentrate on getting a bfp for now! good luck!!!

to give you a bit of info on me im due to test any day - af is due thursday so im coming up to 27 days of a 29 day cycle - and im feeling lucky this month but who knows, its hard but im trying not to get too excited till i get my bfp!

on the baby neam front etc - its fun but i wouodnt get to involved in that side of things yet - the baby making isnt alway as easy as you think it will be for everyone, obviously some are lucky and hit the jack pot first month, but i honestly didnt think for one minute we would still be trying now - its hard not to over think but it cvan make things harder for you - i would get baby dancing and see what happens!!

hope this helpsxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tigresswoods Mon 20-Oct-08 22:12:01

Ladies, great to see your posts. I am 28 and DH is 42! Good to hear from girls in a similar situation.

Very excited about TTC even though it is taking a tad longer than I expected (been TTC for 9 months) and have a lot of the same concerns I expect you have:

*Will he wake up one day and decide he is too old and doesn't want kids?

*Will he be up for making packed lunchs for school in his 50's etc.

Keep us posted on what happens and I'll do the same :-)

Wishing Mon 20-Oct-08 22:17:36

i have the same thoughts tigresswoods - and seem we all in very simialr situations!! in fact when a got a +ive a few months ago dh did panic and worry he was tioo old but he was gutted when mc occured and last month we got excited when i was 7 days late to i know he is as keen as me!!

I get excited then next minute im worried and have concerns about why it isnt happening, this time of the month is my fav in a way cos im so close to having it and oncve af arrives another month and waiting to ov seems so far away!! anyway enough negativity from me - lets hope we get some bfps soon girlies!!

AliBean Tue 21-Oct-08 12:22:56

Hello Ladies - as Tigresswoods said it is brilliant to find us in a similar situation - my friends are all coupled up with men who are a similar age to them so they don't really get it!

My DH already has 2 children from his previous life (his words NOT mine!)- two sons aged 21 (eeeekk!! Nearer to me in age than his dad!) and 13.

He doesn't have a brilliant relationship with the eldest (a bit troubled that one) but he has a fab relationship with the youngest - and I do too!

Anyway DH is desperate to have babies with me and he is counting the days til we start trying! I am really excited too and think about it alot but am trying not to IYKWIM!

I don't know about babydancing 4 times a week Wishing...don't want to tire the old guy out! Actually he will be thrilled...I hope!

I will keep everything crossed for you tomorrow Wishing! I hope you get the right answer.

We are starting on 3rd December so I have a month to get my head round it and to pick your brains - hope you don't mind!

Good luck to you both and thanks for answering my thread!

Wishing Tue 21-Oct-08 13:05:43

no i dont mind at all ali bean - its fun to have someone in same situation! im the only one out of my friends with an older dh as well - in fact im one of only ones marride!! dh also has a dd from previous relationship! - 15 so i really do know how you feel, dd doesnt live particularly close but still part of our lives and comes to stay - and it is hard!! we get on really well though, in fact sometimes i get on better with her than he does!! you are very well organised, hope all goes well wen you start! if i am still here i will be here to help if ive been lucky i will still hang around - if im wanted!! hahahaha im getting excited now, so sure that i am this month but still have my doubts! think you always do cos you know how the impending domb feels if af does arrive!! its really good that your dh is as excited as you, you should be just fine cos you both aiming for the same thing - thats sometimes the hardest part!! My dh is the same now but when we first started he wanted a bean but was happy to just let things happen and go with the flow! - so baby dancing 4 / 5 times a week was a task - he is loving it now though! heeheehee

hope you keep in touch even though bding not on the cards for a few months!! - can i ask why you are leaving it till december to start?? xxxxx

AliBean Tue 21-Oct-08 14:06:24

Well the only reason we are waiting is to give the full three months after stopping the pill. Also we are moving house in 2 weeks and also run our own business so need to get all of that set up in our new location. We are moving from Anglesey to Cornwall so it is a big move and I want to get settled before I give myself the opportunity to fall PG!

I hope we can keep in touch as I def think we have a LOT in common!

rempy Tue 21-Oct-08 14:08:36

There is absolutely no reason to wait after taking the pill, in fact, the statistic that most people conceive 6 months after stopping the pill is actually two peaks of conception, lots in the first 3 months, and then lots at a year. So get that condom off!

AliBean Tue 21-Oct-08 15:24:19

Hi rempy, thanks for that info. I based my decision on a quick net surf that recommended 3 months to clear the hormones - more for my benefit than anything else!
As I said above we are also in the process of moving home and business so also want to wait until things are a bit more settled.

My birthday is 3rd December and that is baby making d-day! It all starts from there!

Wishing Tue 21-Oct-08 19:52:33

well you certainly organised ali so have everything crossed for you - it will be fantastic for a bean to come along after you have got moved and sorted! and i would get settled too cos once your pg you will be exhausted and you need to be organised with everything else - its a life changing exp!

we have loads on common - im a dec baby! just yell if you need any more help on advice, im by nooooooo means an expert but i a lot more clued up than i was when first started all this ttc!! have you got your cycles sorted yet and worked out best days to baby dance - dont forget the more sex the better, you cen deffo be practicing now and keeping his little men to an optimum!!


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