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need advice/similar experiences please!!Am scared that i've effected my future fertility!:(

(9 Posts)
wannabump2008 Wed 08-Oct-08 14:51:12

Hi there everyone....have had a pretty rough ride on the conception and pregnancy train and would really like some advice or to speak with people who have experienced similar.
I'm a happily married 28 year old with an 18 month old daughter.Its been a long road achieving my daughter as we experienced a stillbirth at 33 weeks shortly after we were married in 2005,we had a little boy.In the sept of that year i had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks(baby stopped at 6 weeks) and by then was really affected by what we had been through and decided to give it a rest for awhile!Then in july 2006 we got pregnant with our lovely and very wanted daughter who was born in march 2007.We'd decided to try for a brother or sister for her in july this year and fortunatly got pregnant straight away,but i started to bleed around 15 weeks and had a missed miscarriage again but this time at 16 weeks(baby stopped at 12 weeks).I initally dealt with it very well and when people say,'i'm so sorry',i simply said i'd been through worse,which i had losing our first son.
I now am looking for any possible answers as to why this has been happening to me,as i don't smoke/drink,have never taken any drugs and am a fit and healthy person.It just doesn't feel fair!They are doing tests on the baby that we lost and i have an appointment at the beginning of november to speak with my consultant at the hospital.
I have also started to think back to when i was a teenager and the fact that i'd got pregnant at a very young age and had an abortion,i had then gone into another relationship which was violent and got pregnant again and decided to have another abortion(i must sound lovely!!..i really am honestly!blush)
I had never mentioned to any doctors about my abortions after that as it had been traumatic both times and i simply wanted to forget that time of my life(my mum had passed away around then too)But now i'm wondering if there is possibly a link to the miscarriages and that ultimatly i'm the one that has caused these pregnancies to go wrong!sad
I'm so sorry for being abit morbid,but i had to get it off my chest,and lay everything doen,so that hopefully people in similar circumstances can empathise with me or give me some advice!
I'd so much love a brother or sister for my daughter and would have never thought that getting pregnant or 'keeping' a pregnancy would be this hard!..It seems like everyone around me has perfect pregnancies and go on to have lots of children without any heartache inbetween,and i am soo grateful for my beautiful daughter and tell her how much i love her everyday!But i just don't understand if i can have such a 'text book' pregnancy with her(no probs all the way through and born at 40 weeks)why i can then not keep a pregnancy!
I've also heard about issues such as women not being able to carry a certain sex?and that got me thinking as i has a stillborn son,does that mean that possibly the missede miscarriages were boys too!??My head id just full of questions!!
So please if anyone has any advice or experiences of similar,please let me know,i'd really appreciate it.x.x.x.x..x

Joy27 Wed 08-Oct-08 15:51:28

You poor thing... I don't have any real words of wisdom I'm afraid, and I'm not sure what effect abortions have on fertility, if any at all, but I couldn't leave your post unanswered.

My doctor said that my mc could have been caused by the fact that my blood group is rhesus negative (not sure of spelling) which means my body may reject an embryo which is not the same blood type. An injection in the bumcheek is all that's needed once I fall pregnant again, to remedy this issue, or so they said.

I'm sure you've had your blood type identified at some point during your (very traumatic) journey so I'm probably teaching granny to suck eggs here. But I just thought it was a possibility. I know it helped me to stop feeling guilty about things I did before I knew I was pregnant which I thought had caused the mc.

Best of luck to you
x

madmarriedNika Wed 08-Oct-08 22:11:35

I firstly want to send you huge hugs- cannot imagine what you have been through

Having had pre-eclampsia with both my DCs I've since read a lot about pregnancy complications etc. and one term that keeps coming up is "Hughes Syndrome"- it explains why some women are prone to pre-eclampsia and also explains why some are prone to miscarriages etc. Have a look at: www.hughes-syndrome.org/

With your history I would definitely ask your GP to refer you for a consultation with an obstetrician at the hospital to see if there are any tests they can do to rule out Hughes (or anything else for that matter). You are completely entitled to have such tests free on the NHS and I'm sure an obstetrician would be pleased to see you and try to work out what's going on given everything you've been through- which is more than you should have to endure.

Wishing you tonnes of good luck with any future pregnancies xxxx

madmarriedNika Wed 08-Oct-08 22:14:05

PS. Also please don't ever blame yourself for your miscarriages and still birth, it's not anything you've done sweetheart, it's just life being unfair and you being unlucky. Really hope you find some answers soon xxx

CoteDAzur Thu 09-Oct-08 12:44:15

I know quite a few people who have had multiple abortions and they haven't suffered miscarriages like you.

Don't blame yourself.

witchandchips Thu 09-Oct-08 12:52:01

two things to think about
1) if there were complications from your abortions that would lead you to be more likely to have miscarriages in the future, then you would know about it before hand as the infections would have had symptoms soon after the procedure
2) A early abortion conducted by a professional in a safe enviroment is actually less likely to lead to such future complications that a live birth at term (so once pregnant having an abortion rather than keeping it is not risking your future fertility

best
witch

wannabump2008 Thu 09-Oct-08 17:38:49

thanks everyone for your kind and helpful messages.x.x
Madmarriednika-i've had loads of blood taken after this miscarriage and so hopefully they will let me know if i'm at risk of anything like huges syndrone,but thanks so much for letting me know about that,it made for interesting readingsmile.x
If anything is found i'll post on here to let you know,and it may help others in similar circumstances find some answers like me.x

DorisH Thu 09-Oct-08 22:31:22

What a lot you've been through. I hope so much that you have another baby to hold soon.

I just googled to see if there was anything published on the link between previous abortions and the risk of miscarriage, and I found this study.

www.ingentaconnect.com/content/oup/ije/2003/00000032/00000003/art00449

It seems to say that it depends on what method of abortion was used. It might be worth talking to your obstetrician about this to see if there was some damage to your uterus.

Good luck.

ilovemcdreamy Thu 09-Oct-08 22:46:26

You poor thing. I am sure your previous terminations have nothing to do with the outcome of these subsequent pregnancies. A great book if you feel up to reading one is "Miscarriage: what every woman should know" by Dr Lesley Regan. It answers loads and loads of questions in detail.

Take care

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