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getting desperate now!

(18 Posts)
ckc Fri 19-Sep-08 21:54:38

hi folks i am new to this site and have read a lot of info on how others are doing and would just like some advice on a few things please... My husband and i have been ttc now for nearly 2 years with no joy, i am 32 just and in the process of trying an opk by two days what makes it worse is i am overweight and have tremendous pressure from family and friends main being my grandma who has cancer and not long to live, she has told me to hurry up and give her some good news before she leaves us ,, NO pressure there then? but on the joke side we are all animal lovers in my family and my sister tells me to hurry up as she is sick of nursing the, my mum and dad keep saying they don't think they will be grandparents and are waiting for the younger sister to have one, lets hope they have a long wait she's only 15, my best friend announced last month that she is pregnant for the second time envy and would love us to have children around the same time so she is counting every month when i am due to ovulate!! how am i suppose to enjoy ttc when i know she's sat at home knowing what i am doing on these any advice please......

whomovedmychocolate Fri 19-Sep-08 21:58:12

I'm not surprised you aren't pregnant with all that pressure!

Okay, two years on you should see your GP (with your husband) and get checked out. There could be a fixable reason you are not yet pregnant.

I'd also recommend you get a copy of Zita West's Guide to getting pregnant to learn more about fertility and what works and what doesn't.

Finally, you need to stop comparing yourself to other people - you will get there in your own time and don't accept comments like 'get on with it' from family - tell them it's hurtful because you have been trying and you'd appreciate more consideration and respect in future.

TheUNITUBER Fri 19-Sep-08 22:07:48

Completely agree with WMMC.

I really think you need to tell your family to stop making those sorts of comments, which would upset anyone by the way.

Are you happy that you know how to tell when you are ovulating? If not, a book like the one recommended by WMMC is a good idea. I think some of the Zita West ones also go into things like nutrition to help conception and so are full of useful info.

ckc Fri 19-Sep-08 22:19:06

thanks for your responses i have seen the doctor rang last week for the results of my test all came back fine she had tested me for everything and i mean everything i even had my smear tho the nurse did tell me that my cervic was bent so that could be contributing to it taking a while as the sperm has to go around bends,by this point i had nearly past out with the uncomfortable pain as you could imagine i just said i will send in an AtoZ and never followed through with any questions, as i am in the first few days of the opk i am just going to see whats happens this month guess i am just living in hope that this could be the month, my husband has 2 children from a previous relationship which leads me to think it is me with the problem.

whomovedmychocolate Fri 19-Sep-08 22:22:14

ckc - well that's good news that there are no structural problems -position of cervix - well that's bollocks my dear - sperm can swim round corners and do so!

Plus it doesn't mean it's your problem - if he hasn't had a recent sperm test you know nothing - he can have picked up an infection or his lifestyle could have affected his sperm, you just don't know so you BOTH need testing.

You might want to get a hypnoconception CD to help you get some confidence in your body's ability to conceive though, you sound quite low and your body does follow your brain. If you don't believe you can get pregnant, you surely won't

ckc Fri 19-Sep-08 22:25:02

as for my family i really don't think they mean to say anything derogative i just think they are as desperate as i for a baby they wouldn't say it to hurt me im sure and to be honest they don't really know i have been trying for nearly 2 years i think they are just guessing as it is coming up to our second wedding anniversary in oct (good guesses tho) but in all fairness i told them that we was getting married to start a family.

ckc Fri 19-Sep-08 22:27:44

thanks whomovedmychocolate i may be will try that, im getting desperate i will try anything...X

whomovedmychocolate Fri 19-Sep-08 22:44:05

Glad to help but your DH does need testing to.

Moonlit Fri 19-Sep-08 22:44:10

Hi ckc - have you ever been tested for PCOS? Bloods are not conclusive evidence for this diagnosis, but an abdominal o vaginal scan can confirm it.


AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 20-Sep-08 08:31:25


What are your periods like - are they irregular or very painful/heavy?. If you answer "yes" to either of the above you should be referred pronto.

If you have been ttc for two years without success then you should be referred as a couple to a gynae at a subfertility unit as a matter of course.

My guess is that your GP has missed something; were you both tested?.

What tests have been done to date - I don't think either of you have been properly investigated to date and such tests should ideally be done by a gynae - not the GP. These problems are often outside a GPs remit of understanding and thus a referral should be made asap.

I would insist to the GP you are referred to a subfertility unit asap and do not take no for an answer.

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers - it is all too easy to be fobbed off.

ckc Sat 20-Sep-08 08:48:50

morning ladies. no not been tested for PCOS was bloods and swab tests she did, my cycle ranges from 29 to 31 days and have always had the severe stomach cramps from the age of 13 i actually ended up in casualty when i first started them, i have also had a scan last year as i thought there was something wrong with the pains i get but the nurse said my womb and everything is ok, so i don't know you know you get to the point where you start to think i guess it's not meant to be! but now i am on here speaking to you ladies im sure you will point me in the right direction, i don't really like discussing it with friends because they all seem to have problems of their own the one thats pregnant needs to enjoy being pregnant and not have to listen to me wittering, my husband i feel is really busy and can do without a nattering wife and i just want the surprise for my family if it ever happens...sad

bluestarlavender Sat 20-Sep-08 22:39:05

Hi ckc,

I might have missed missed something on thread, but do you know you're ovulalting? I use to track my basal body temperature and use OPKs to let me know when I'm about to ovulate. Tracking like this might help you??

I have to admit to being a bit of a doofus at the beginning of TTC. I thought I need to be having lots of sex after I ovulated as the egg would be fertilized then, but I have discovered that you maximise chances by having sex in the 3 days before OV, the day of OV and day after.

The very serious AF pains could be caused by endermetriosis...? But I'm no expert on this...was this something they looked at?

I hope this helps! I haven't had a BFP yet, but I think we have problems...friends on my regular threads highly recommend sex every other day throughout your cycle.

Good luck.


ckc Sun 21-Sep-08 07:53:48

Ta im just using a opk at the moment this will be my fourth day of testing im not sure but i think the 2 lines have appeared this morning but the second line seams to be only a little touch lighter than the guide line so i don't know if im ready or not yet but will still keep having sex regularly just in case, i have only one test left but will have to get another tomorrow if it reads different in the morning. i haven't been tested for enedermetriosis but may be when i go back to the doc's maybe they will do all the other test everyone is saying hopefully i might not have to go back to the doc tho fingers X

AAL Sun 21-Sep-08 08:11:34


I have had trouble conceiving, even though I already have a son. Doc told me it was because I was pressuring myself, and fretting, which can put a spanner in the works.
I bought some ovulation kits, and concluded that I wasn't, as having also used fertilityfriend, the dates that I 'should' have ovulated came up with nothing. I have a longer cycle - usually 31/32 days. In the end, I thought f*ck it, it's not going to happen. I had been bursting into tears at the sight of babies. Started to plan our wedding and got bfp.
BUT, swear it's cos, one day, I had really runny, thin discharge. Not my 'correct' time, but had read somewhere this was a sign of Ovulation, so pinned dp down. Probably coincidence, but it's happend. Maybe it's cos I gave up hope? Good Luck. It's a nightmare isn't it?

ckc Sun 21-Sep-08 08:52:28

yes defo and just seem everyone around you is expecting its everywhere you look there's a woman with an extremely large stomach never mind what will be will be i guess x

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 21-Sep-08 09:06:21


If you have been ttc for 2 years without success then there is likely to be a problem with either one or both of you.

I was concerned to read about the severe period pains. There is much ignorance out there re endometriosis; you should have been seen in a gynae unit rather than in casualty. Casualty bless them certainly have their place but they are no experts at all when it comes to dealing with female gynae problems. They should have put you onto a gynae ward at that time (sigh).

You need to be aware that Endometriosis as well is NOT detected on any ultrasound scans or blood tests as the endometrical deposits are very small. Endometriosis is the second most common gynae condition seen in women after fibroids and it can certainly interfere with fertility.

Stop using the OPK's as of now (you are well beyond using those anyway at 2 years of ttc) and insist to your GP you are referred to a gynae at a subfertility unit asap.

You need to determine exactly why you are having these severe pains.

You need to act now and be firm with these people otherwise you will continue to be fobbed off.

mags98 Sun 21-Sep-08 11:02:53

After 1 year of trying you should be referred to your local subfertility clinic.

Most GPs will do basic bloods before you go - or while you are waiting for your appointment. In case your GP isn't sure, it should be the following tests

day 2/3 of your cycle FSH, LH, estrogen, prolactin. This checks your basic hormone profile, and checks for PCOS, risk of premature menopause etc.

day 21 (or 7 days before your period is expected if your cycle is not about 28 days) - progesterone. This checks if you are ovulating.

Your partner should also have a semen analysis.

Then at the hospital they will do further tests, usually an ultrasound scan to cjeck for cysts, thickness of endometrium etc. Plus they will need to find out if the tubes are open so this will be an HSG (x ray where they squirt dye through the tubes) or a laparoscopy which can be done to check for endometriosis and structural problems.

Then you will at least have an idea what is going on. Don't give up on anything until you have had all these tests done.

ckc Sun 21-Sep-08 12:20:06

i will make app at docs to be referred X

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