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[sad] I don't know what to do or what to tell dh......advice needed!

(15 Posts)
Ashuct Wed 03-Sep-08 16:57:39

I just received a call from the doctor with my husbands sa results I was told that there were zero sperm present in the container and that all my tests were great... That I am ovulating very well all bloodtest, smear results and everything looked wonderful.... Now I have to tell my husband its him! At one point I remember thinking oh I hope its not me but now that I know I wish it was... I started crying when the nurse told me I feel that I could handle it much better than my husband and we just assumed that it would be me with my crazy cycles and I have a whole line of fertility problems in my family but all have had children so we just kind of hoped I guess now I think I may be losing my hope second by second......oh what to do?? I feel so sad for both of us but really for him. I really believe women tend to handle this stuff better! Anyone in the same boat??? Advice would be Wonderful at this point as the last 3 years seem so much more depressing than they did before I knew what was wrong!

MatBackFeck Wed 03-Sep-08 17:01:34

not in the same boat but have experience unexplained infertility. Just wanted to say sorry you are going through this, it's shit.

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 03-Sep-08 17:07:54

Hi Ashuct,

When you say doc, do you mean the GP?.
The doc should not have told you over the phone; both of you should have been told in person. This is poor practice on behalf of the doc. I would discuss this and the prospect of being referred further with the doc in question.

With regards to his semen analysis was this actually the first one?. If it was, one sole analysis would not be fully conclusive of there being any problems. Semen analysis should be repeated.

If you have not been alread referred to a gynae subfertility unit I would request the GP to do so asap. Both of you should be tested further by the specialist unit.

FabioFlangeCat Wed 03-Sep-08 17:09:58

Er, the gp gave you your dh's results?
Breach of confidentiality, surely?

Sorry, of no help that, and sorry for your troubles, but I'm shocke.d

Hope they can help him out some way.

Ashuct Wed 03-Sep-08 17:20:01

I had an appointment this morning to go over the results from all the tests but they had not yet received the results for the sa so I asked the nurse to call me when they came in just because the office is about an hour away. The doctor refered my husband to a urologist for further testing. I am in the united states if that matters at all.... but yes when I talked to the urologist to set up the appointment he said another test would be performed to double check the accuracy of the last one. Has anyone ever heard of going from zero to anything before? I am just worried that it is never going to change and that he is sterile

PastYourBedtime Wed 03-Sep-08 17:29:31

My dp has his sperm test on the 18th and i'm dreading his results coming back poor. I would much rather it was my problem as i think i would handle it better. I have 2 children from a previous relationship tho so i very much doubt the problem is with me. In some ways i don't want him to have the test at all... No advice, but i really feel for you.

Ashuct Wed 03-Sep-08 17:46:38

Past- I do know what you mean... I do believe everything happens for a reason and my dh and I just haven't figured ours out yet. I wish you the best of luck and I hope your dp's comes back excellent! If you need someone to talk to in about it I am here

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 03-Sep-08 18:12:12

Hi Ashuct,

The US system when it comes to subfertility is a bit different from here in the UK.

Your scenario is a classic example of why both parties should be present when a semen analysis result is given.

I can understand why you asked the nurse to call you with these but it is really not a good idea at all to get any test results - for either of you - over the phone.

If the office in question is 1 hour away as well is there any possibility of travelling to somewhere that is a bit nearer?.

At least your DH will be referred to a urologist now for further testing. This is a good idea. It also sounds like this was his first semen analysis - as already mentioned one poor semen analysis is by no means fully conclusive of there being male factor problems. The urologist will be able to tell you both more once he is seen.

I have certainly heard of poor semen analysis results initially to be followed up by good results. You need to find out exactly what the motility (how good/poor is it?) and morphology (are the sperms well formed, can they swim well?) are like.

I would also urge you both to attend any future appointments together.

Ashuct Wed 03-Sep-08 22:01:24

Thank you so much attila! I am trying to comfort him the best I can but all he keeps saying is I am trying to process all of this. But now he wants to wake a little bit before seeing the urologist! I understand that this is really hard on a mans ego but I want to get it double checked and he is still trying to figure it out in his head. Its kind of hard to push someone when you have just told them that they don't produce any seman.
The US system is very bad if you ask me. The testing has been performed by my OB/GYN and that is the closest one to me as I live in the country. I did ask about the motility and morphology but they said that they were unable to tell as there was not even a single sperm present. From now on we are going to the rest of the appointments together as I NEVER want to be the one to tell him this infomration again. I truly hope that you are right and that the next sa will at least have some seman present at least we would know he has some but what the doctor has told us makes it sound as if he is sterile and that we have no chance but I want to give my husband a couple of days before I talk anymore about it.

I did ask the nurse at the urologist office what the visit would consist of and she said that it would be background, family history, bloodwork, physical and another sa but I am wondering if I can call the OB/GYN back and request another one just to double check before going to the urologist. I also wonder if another lab would be better to try for this one just in case.

glastochick Thu 04-Sep-08 16:42:43

Hi Ashuct

We're in exactly the same boat. I'm, apparently, fine, but DH has zero sperm. It's called Azoospermia. We had to wait 2 months for an appointment at our NHS infertility clinic after our first SA result, and at that appointment the Consultant confirmed that DH needed to see a Urologist (that appointment was end of July; still waiting for an appointment with the Urologist to come through shock). She has also requested blood tests for DH, which your DH should have too. Apart from a test to check his testosterone and FSH levels, your DH should have a Karyotpye profile performed to make sure there is no genetic reason for his condition (apparently, genetic causes can be Cystic Fibrosis and Klinefelters Syndrome). Here, it take 3 months for the profile results to come back.

My DH has also done several other SAs to ensure the first one wasn't just a bad sample, IFYSWIM. Sadly, all his results have come back the same. No sperm, not even dead ones.

I am holding out hope that we will still be able to conceive using SSR so we can have IVF + ICSI, but have no idea of the success rate and we're only entitled to one cycle on the NHS (can't afford a cycle privately, so if that one go fails that's the end of the road for us). Other than that, the only option for us would be a sperm donor (I'm the one who seems more freaked out by that possibility than my DH, and I think I'd need a lot of counselling beforehand to be honest).

I'm here if you need to talk. Seems we're a bit further down the path than you are, but I'm probably right in thinking the US might move a bit quicker than over here so you might overtake me smile.

Hugs xxx

Ashuct Thu 04-Sep-08 20:38:30

Glasto its nice to know that I am not the only one going through all of this, not that I wish this on anyone! We have our first appt scheduled with the urologist in October so I guess at that point we will have another sa, physical and bloodwork ugh.... and from there we will have an ultrasound and continue down the road the urologist said that we will know for sure what exactly is wrong and what can be done within 3 months soo that is the positive thing but also very very scary! I told my husband that I wanted to move to the UK as they actually HElP with fertility where as here everything is self pay there is no such thing as a one attempt without having to pay for it which is horrible!

Ashuct Fri 05-Sep-08 13:13:20

Why is it that the ob/gyn won't let dh do another sa before going to the urologist just to make sure that it wasn't a false result? The nurse said it would be better for your husband to just go to the urologist and start there since they will do another sa....I understand that but what if they got results that were not correct the first time???? I would hate for my husband to go through that to then be told oh yes your sample has sperm in it your first one must have been a incorrect result ugh this is so irritating! angry

glastochick Fri 05-Sep-08 14:01:16

I think the reason may be that the lifecycle of sperm is about 3 months, so if they leave some time between samples if the last one was a fluke or just a bad sperm cycle, then there has been a chance for new sperm to grow.

Since we've had our diagnosis, I've asked DH to quite smoking (he didn't smoke much anyway) and reduce his alcohol intake (also small). He's on a high dose of vitamin C and zinc, as they're supposed to be good for sperm development, and we've changed our diet so there are no takeaways or processed food. I don't know if it will help, but it won't hurt him. DH is also overweight, and I wonder if this is a cause too. Could it be that his belly sits over his man parts when he sits (and he spends all day sitting), and his thighs touch at the top, are creating an environment that is too warm for his sperm? I know, there are plenty of men who are more overweight than DH, but it may just be that he is more sensitive to these things.

Where men aren't producing any sperm at all, you could look into his history. Did he have mumps, or undescended testicles as a child? DH didn't suffer from either of these, but he did suffer from an immune disorder which took a long time to recover from, and even a virus can arrest sperm development. DH also suffered epilepsy, and took high doses of Sodium Valproate for a long time as a teenager. Studies have shown this can lead to Azoospermia, but we're wondering if we can prove that.

As for free treatment over here, it really does depend where you live. The guidelines state you should be entitled to 3 free cycles, but that is rarely the case. And waiting lists are so long, that if you can afford it you might aswell go private.

Our PCT has just messed up with our referral to the Urologist for DH, so we are at square 1 with that. We can't even have the investigations carried out by our health care policy, as DH hasn't been covered by them for 3 years.

Ashuct Fri 05-Sep-08 16:36:08

I am sorry about all the trouble you are having with the urologist! My husband is not over weight and has not had any known illnesses or immune problems nor has he had mumps. He did used to smoke pretty heavily but has not smoked in nearly 9 months and has limited his alcohol intake for the last 9 months as well.

I guess I am just in a hurry to find out the next step and don't have the patience for the sperm to mature wink but I am sure you know exactly how that feels

It is starting to get very expensive very fast. I know that even if he doesn't have any sperm actually coming out there still may be some in there but we can not afford an ivf so the only thing we can afford is an iui but I was told that if its a severe male problem those are not typically done which is another thing that I am really really scared about. I just can't grasp this I guess. I am hoping for the best outcome but as I keep going it seems to only get worse. There has to be a positive thing soon!!!!

I really enjoy talking with you about this it is helping a ton!!! I know we are kinda in a different situation but its seems so similar in soooo many ways.

Ashuct Sat 06-Sep-08 20:33:33

Thanks so much for all of your help

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