The same old question

[Tigresswoods]

Greetings Mumsnet ladies. I'm new here although have been lurking and reading for about 6 months. Been TTC for about 8 months (although have kidded myself not TTC just trying not to not to, IYSWIM) but ready to take the plunge and join in now.

So can anyone tell me how best to avoid the usual "so when are you going to start a family?" question. I must be asked at least weekly (or more often if seeing family that week) Been married 2 years and am 28 so in prime condition to be asked at least once a week.

Plus does anyone else feel the need to be really obvious about drinking so no one assumes you ARE pregnant!?

[Mammina]

It is SO annoying and so out of order IMO when people ask this. It is none of their business whatsoever and very presumptuous of them. I actually got so fed up I said to a colleague that I didn't think it was a question you should ask as you don't know how long people have been trying, or if people can have kids at all. I didn't bark at him but just said it nicely. If you don't want to do that then just say 'if I am lucky enough to be able to have kids we will start when we are ready' [angy] sorry, rant over!

as to the drinking thing, you could cut down now so that it's not so obvious when you are pregnant, or go on a 'detox', then go on another one when you really need to stop drinking.

[MichaelaS]

Oooh this is so annoying yes!

It does tempt me to just say something terrible like "oh, we would love them, but after six miscarriages we have been told we can't have them, thanks for asking". (this isn't true by the way - I mean just to shock them into thinking!) People just don't realise how sensitive a topic this can be.

As for the drinking - totally agree - I feel like when i'm on an "ok to drink" week I have to show people I'm drinking. I have found good tips are to make sure you go to the bar (and maybe get a small non-alcoholic drink so you can claim there is vodka in it!) or claim to be cutting down or having a hangover!

Tricky though.

I have recently put on weight, and I carry it on my stomach. A week or so ago someone actually patted my stomach and asked if I was pregnant! When I said no she asked if I was sure. it was so embarrassing. This morning I find out my husband stopped someone else doing exactly the same thing last weekend. Aaargh - time to get back on the diet!