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I'm at St Mary's in Manchester and need an egg donor - can anyone help me find one?!

22 replies

eleveld · 21/08/2008 14:14

hi

To cut a long story short I am 39, TTC no 1, was referred for IVF at St Mary's in Manchester but they won't treat me with me own eggs because of my high FSH.

They will only treat me with an egg donor. We don't have anybody we know that could do it. Have been told that there isn't really an NHS waiitng list (there are so few poeple on it I'd be waiting years and, by then, be too old).

Could possibly go private but even they have told me the waiting list is about 2 years.

Is there any way of finding an egg donor?

Many thanks

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busymum1 · 21/08/2008 22:25

how far away can donor be from you can you find out bit more about what's involved touched by your appeal but probably too far away I think most people would wonder what involved

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bellabelly · 21/08/2008 22:43

Not trying to be flippant here but this woman advertised for a donor by advertising on side of buses and got lucky. Worth a try? Or place an advert in local / national newspapers? On local radio? I have no idea how much that kind of thing costs. Really hope you find somebody - are you sure there's nobody (cousin, friend, colleague) who might be worth at least asking about it? Hope you find someone really soon.

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yelnats · 21/08/2008 22:46

I'm not local to you but am curious to what is involved for the donor? I read the story just last week about the bus advert - very touching story.

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busymum1 · 21/08/2008 23:14

found this link might help www.ivfcliniclondon.com/en/egg-donation/donating-eggs.html

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eleveld · 22/08/2008 08:14

Thanks for your replies.

I'm not sure about the distance thing, I have heard of couples involved in this travelling quite a lot, maybe having to stay away for a few days etc.

I think broadly what is involved is that the egg donor goes through the first (or main) part of teheIVF process - ie takes all the stimulating drugs etc and then has her eggs collected. Probably takes a few weeks in total.

Thanks for your replies - I have been given a couple of websites where people sometimes offer to be donors so I will try those.

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Nemoandthefishes · 22/08/2008 08:19

Aww I hope you find someone soon, I have considered doing this when I have finished having my own children but dont think would be accepted anyway due to being overweight.

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muffins · 22/08/2008 08:54

Nemoandthefishes,
I am currently going through process of donating eggs and my weight has never even been discussed as far as I'm aware. I'm not overweight though, but also have not read anywhere about weight stopping you from donating.

Eleveld I hope you got my message about COTS surrogacy website egg donation forum-good place.

There does seem to be quite a lot involved in the egg donation process. So far I have had LOTS of bloods, baseline scan, counselling and it had to go to ETHICS as I am considered a known donor. This may be different if you don't meet the donor I guess. To give an idea of timescale-I had first appt with consultant beginning July and should be looking to start treatment next month with egg collection end Sept/beginning Oct. Seems like forever but I guess it's not that long really.

muffins x

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busymum1 · 22/08/2008 22:08

will have chat with dp and dc's am seriously considering this, only problem is my sister is ttc and worried if I can help you I would not be able to help her if need arises don't want to get your hopes up unneccessarily

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Jaamy · 25/08/2008 01:15

Oh eleveld I remember you from the TTC thread. I really hope you find a donor and go on to have a very lovely bean (or 2 or 3) . Take care huni x

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madcows · 25/08/2008 12:23

Dear eleved,
Just wanted to add that the fertility friends website has a thread re egg (and sperm) donation, where you'll find lots of people in the same position as you. Some decide to go abroad.
I was an egg donor for my sister last year, and her baby is due any day now. I wrote a diary on the fertility friends website, under the name of c l u c k c l u c k - which will give any donors an idea of what is involved.
good luck,
madcows

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MrsFearnleyWhittingstall · 25/08/2008 12:26

Can anyone do it ? if so I would be happy to do it for you

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stickyj · 25/08/2008 12:32

Is there an per age limit?

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stickyj · 25/08/2008 12:32

sorry, upper age limit

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onlyjoking9329 · 25/08/2008 12:38

good luck with this, i was a donor 10 years ago thou i am considered too old now, upper limit is 35 throu the NHS don't know if it is different throu private.

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eleveld · 25/08/2008 22:44

Hi Many thanks for all your messages.

St Mary's will use anyone up to 40.

We have actually just seen the consultant again who said there is a new test coming out which is meant to be more reliable than FSH (for testing for ovarian reserve). It's available from September on the NHs so he has agreed to do that on me (as one last test to confirm that they won't use my own eggs). I am due to have this in a couple of weeks so, if it's OK, I wil come back to thsi thread to let you know what has happened.

Many thanks for your replies, particularly the people that have even offered to get involved themselves - I certainly didn't expect that.

The diary that madcows mentions is probably worth a read - as I'm not sure everyone knows exactly what is involved

Thanks

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lilolilmanchester · 25/08/2008 22:59

I'm local and would willingly have given you eggs, but am 45. Will ask around at work tho there aren't many women in our office. Most of my friends are over 40 but will raise the subject with the younger Mums at school when we go back. Good luck xxx

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eleveld · 26/08/2008 08:15

Thanks lilolilmanchester that's really kind

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MrsFearnleyWhittingstall · 26/08/2008 09:11

eleveld if you want me to help I am more than willing I am 30 and from sheffield .
If you would like to email me you can get in touch at
[email protected]

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 26/08/2008 09:24

Mrs FW

I would suggest you look at this website as it is about the egg donation process and the issues surrunding it:-

www.ngdt.co.uk

Another website I would urge you to read Eleveld is the HFEA one as they are the overseeing body for such matters:-

www.hfea.gov.uk

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MrsFearnleyWhittingstall · 26/08/2008 09:28

I have looked deeply into it before when I was going to do it for my ds. But thankyou will take another look

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DisenchantedPlusBump · 26/08/2008 09:33

I would do it for you, I truely would. I've wanted to it for years. But am expecting at the moment so can't right now.

I wanted to do it for my aunt (donate my eggs so she could get reduced fee IVF treatment, but they wouldn't allow it as they said SHE had to donate her eggs, but she didn't produce enough.)

If you think you may want someone in the future (if it takes longer than expected or for any siblings!) email me, this isn't something I'm saying flippantly, I really would like to do so, when I am able to.

Im 23 years old, in Manchester and have 2 healthy boys and a girl on the way.

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DisenchantedPlusBump · 26/08/2008 09:37

Oops, would help if I put my email!

pug_d @hotmail.com

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