You know you've been ttc for too long when...

[nomoremagnolia]

a)...you find pregnacare/pg tests in the cupboard that are out of date?
b)...six couples you know have married and had babies in the time you've been ttc?
c)...two different friends who started ttc at the same time or after you have had their first babies and are announcing their second pgs?
d)...all of the above

[PicknMix]

e)...all of the above, plus the phrase from said couples in point (c) "just relax and it'll happen, thats what we did" makes you want to scream and shout and stamp your feet. But you don't. You just smile sweetly and go out to buy yet another 'Congratulations, you've had a baby' card....

[1wish]

all of the above plus a very fertile friend asks "have you tried them tablet things I've heard of, there meant to be really good at helping you get pregnant?"

You say what Clomid? "no". Agnus Castrus? "no" Evening primrsose? "No" Starflower? "no" Metformin? "No it's not any of those" replies your friend.

Uh you think, getting excited at the prospect of some new wonder pill thats led to your friends annoying ability to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat.

"I remember" she says "Its folic acid!"

At which point you punch your friend quite hard and sob at the ignorance of the fertile.

[nomoremagnolia]

oh yes and the 'helpful' comments of "I know couples who just stopped trying and then they had triplets..."

[nomoremagnolia]

1wish sorry had to laugh at your folic acid one! You've succeeded in cheering me up at least

[FruitynNutty]

(f) When other people (everyone) happen to mention they fell preg within the 1st month of trying and their DP/DH have super sperm

Happens on here A LOT

[1wish]

I'm glad about that nomore and sadly it's a true story. Along with another friend who helpfully suggested I might have more success if I tried bd'ing on day 14 of my cycle. It had worked for her sister apparently!!

I replied that would be nice but I have a 45 day irregular cycle and I don't ovulate and dp's sperm is f**ked. To which she replied "well it worked for my sister, and they had been trying ages, it was at least 8 months I think, it's worth a try!" Ahhhggghh

How are you anyway Nomore I haven't spoken to you for ages. I've been keeping of the ttc threads, it's too painfull. I've given up ttc normally now and i'm due to have IVF in the next couple of months Though I'm not excited because I really don't think it will ever happen.

[Moonlit]

....when you finally tell your annoying in laws and friends....'I am having problems conceiving....so please p* off and leave me alone'.

[Madoldbird]

You watch "Baby Tales" early in the morning on tv, because that's the closest you can get to giving birth / having a baby... (sadly, i have been known to do this!)

[1wish]

You stop watching baby tales in the morning because you no longer see the point

You look at pregnant teenagers, and think to yourself "pregnancy really is a miracle"

They think to themselves, "I really should have got his phone number"

[nomoremagnolia]

I'm good (generally at least - having a bad day today) tried IVF but sadly it didn't work for us. Trying to save for another go but have so far managed to save ~£500 (of £4000) so it's still a long way off
I've got another one...when you hear the news about teenage pg rate rising and think "lucky so-and-so's" or alternatively think "but making a baby's so hard how many more are having unprotected sex??"

[nomoremagnolia]

sorry 1wish forgot to ask how you're doing?

[1wish]

Sorry to hear that nomore unfortunatly we can't afford it either and our old NHS does no assisted conception what so ever, and the new one has a three year wait.

So I am sad to say this as I know it may help someone else, but I have been forced into donating my eggs as that is the only way we can afford it which makes me very and very

Anyway back to the thread
Another one is when you've exhausted all the anecdotal things that will get you pregnant

1. Have a hsg e-ray (clears your tubes) No luck
2. Have a holiday (relax and it will happen) Nope

3.Start clomid (miracle drug) No success
4.Stop trying (thats when it always happens) No luck

1. Start looking into IVF (everyone always gets pregnant before it starts apparently) Again no...can you see a pattern here?
2. Buy a puppy. Just have done and i'll keep you posted

1. Feel sorry for yourself over the amount of time you spent gathering this anecdotal infomation from old threads, friends, tv shows etc

[FruitynNutty]

Well, Iwish I hate to say it as I was also a desperate TTCer but we got a kitten and lo and behold, a few weeks later, I got my much longed for BFP even though I only ovulated twice in a year! Now I know this is a complete coincidence but, another MNer fell preg after getting her kitten too. Of course, don't read too much into it

[1wish]

1wish rushes out to buy a kitten (like the darn puppy isn't enough)

[FruitynNutty]

well you'll be so busy with the puppy and kitten that you won't have time for TTC!

[1wish]

I'm sad to say I don't any more anyway Fruity.

Thats another one you know you've been ttc to long when...

You no longer have a sex life because-
A.You've been TTC for so long you killed it and
B. If you actually do it, you still spend the next 2 weeks thinking, do I feel sick? What was that twinge? Maybe I am. But you never are, and it drives me insane.

So my theory is no sex, no disapointment. Poor Dp.

[ScaryHairy]

Your mother tells you stories about her friend who had her first child at age 45/46/47 after 20-odd years of ttc in a feeble attempt to buck you up.

You no longer want to smack people who say "I'm so fertile" and giggle. Instead you just look at them and think "cretin".

You can take your BBT in your sleep and are not even surprised when you wake up later on and find out that you have done it.

You get told off by your aunt for telling her teenage daughters to get on with having kids "it's now or never, girls!"

[1wish]

I realise I'm destroying the light hearted nature of this thread. Sorry

Ladies as you were

[funtimewincies]

Surely you know you've been TTC for too long when your DH suggests that the amount of gymnastics training you've been putting in, desperately trying to get your bum higher than your head after each bout of nookie, that you should be in Beijing this week .

[1wish]

You go to the doctors and you're actually suprised and a little disapointed when he doesn't ask to examine your cervix

[nomoremagnolia]

1wish A friend of my sisters has donated her eggs too (I'm pretty sure it was for financial reasons) - I'm not sure I could do it if I knew the other person had got pg and I hadn't (how selfish am I? ) - I'm in awe of those who can do that.
I have been known to tell friends to "get on with having children sooner rather than later" too!
Liking the kitten theory - though not too sure what DH or my two existing cats would make of it!

[nomoremagnolia]

oh and that thing about spending time around newborns...bollocks!

[nomoremagnolia]

and when asked to fill in a form about how long you've been ttc you tick the 18-24 months because you think "it's been 2 1/2 years hasn't it? - no that seems too long - must be only 1 1/2" Then you tell DH and he says 'no it has been 2 1/2 years'

[1wish]

It gets worse nomore when you actually start to lie,and shorten the length of time you've been ttc on forms, so that they don't think you're a complete jaffa.

Had to do this recently with the egg donation thing, I put two years but actually it's more like four

And I'm not happy about that situation you described either, but what can I do. It makes me feel like i'm in one of those countries where people are forced to sell a kidney or something for money. (Though obviously not as bad, but a similiar principle)

[nomoremagnolia]

Oh you poor thing It's such a horrible situation to be in isn't it? It may yet be something DH and I have to talk about if we can't get the money together any other way. I don't mean to be selfish, just that I think I'd feel better about donating eggs if I had kids already because then it's more like organ donation "if it's no good to me anymore, let someone else have it..."
I remember reaching the 1 year mark and feeling pleased that I could go to the doctors about it as so many people told methat it was once they started seeking help that it 'just happened'. Now we're almost at the end of the line in terms of what they can do to help us, except to keep flogging the IVF donkey of course